NC Dignity Club part 8: still wearing our crowns

[MyGastIsFlabbered]

Hopefully nobody else has started a thread, if so feel free to ignore this one

Aww teens they will always be our little babies however tall they get or deep their voice goes. Is he comfortable? I can say the sensible approach but wouldn't apply it to myself teens so totally understand how it got to you.

Teens glad you are home!! how is ds now? (apart from full of eclairs)

I asked about the divorce this afternoon. He's not 'had time'. I pointed out he'd just had 3 days off, with access to internet, so could have looked up laws etc. He said: 'right I might as well push off now shall I?' so 'help' (time with) kids depends on me being 'nice' to him - prat.

anxious well I can but if i annoy him he will simply get in his car and go home so i can quite see him buggering up work / training for me if he can be so gittish over a major Operation.

If I tell you that he 'changed his mind' when I was pg with dd and I didn't even know if he was coming to the c=section until the day before, that might let you know what sort of man he is.

sorry, this has nowt to do with NC. I will shut up and turn the light off.

Night all, thanks for listening.xXx

He's ok Anxious thanks.

It was a stupid injury:not even a game one but happened at first training after beast from the east, so frustration is high .We're back to hospital on Tuesday fingers crossed we'll get it sorted.

Lool just seen my date number 7 updated his pics on OLD. Put a more recent one but still looks younger on it than IRL . At least he's learning. I feel properly cheated by him : no way he's 44 as he said, he does look around 50 -I mean grey eyebrows and deep nose to mouth folds, but he seem nice enough guy .

Evening all. I’ve had a good day - manicure and pedicure! First pedicure for 8 months, so I’m doing everything you’re meant to with self-care.
But I’m feeling strong. NC has disappointed me. He’s not the man I thought he was, I tried to raise that we were struggling but he closed me down and wouldn’t discuss it. And what relationship can survive without communication.
I’ve not thought about him quite so obsessively today and not felt so sad. I know each day will be different though

@basseting talk away... X! I agree with @oldbrook....
Well I am going to try and get some sleep... Keep waking up in the middle of the night which I hate as that's when the mind ruminates... Thank you for all the great advice again... Hope everyone gets decent night's sleep... @oldbrook have a good day and keep being awesome!!!

Oldbrook

I don't think he knows or suspects I stalk her Insta.
In fact I don't think he knows I even know her name as he never called her by name, just wife.

It was a bit of detective work but I identified her .I have seen her once from far and was able to match facial features to one of few people that could be her.

I do think he underestimates my skills and effort and would freak out and maybe go apeshit if he knew what I'm up to.

oldbrook "But I think for my own sanity it’s still best to think no pursuit means no interest. Besides if they don’t have the emotional maturity to reach out at this stage they’ll likely be crap at relationships anyway

This x I MILLION !

teens they have no right to go apeshit - they involved their wife etc when they chose to play away . Sorry that does sound harsh I know .

Yes my NC would go apeshit if he knew I had got a PI to look into him . He likes to think he is in charge .That's how I found out he was married .

Just caught up on this thread I find the thoughts and comments so helpful

On a perverted note I'm quite proud of my detective skills lol as both him and her have very low online presence, it took me a while to find her-she has no fb, no Twitter just insta profile .
I really should be working in police or forensics of some sorts!😁

Bloody
How awful
He didn't even have decency to explain?
At least mine confessed eventually, fully expecting me to cut him off but he had felt I ought to know what he got me involved into..

Sometimes I wish I did cut him off when I found out but I was already hooked and didn't want to lose him.I lost him anyway though, a bit later..

Well actually managed to get through the day without caving and contacting NC. Even manged to get some motivation to start the packing. Bad thing about the packing i came across a gift NC had given me which i'd hidden away in the wardrobe under my jumpers ( haven't needed them here as it's so hot). Sent me off in tears again for what might have been. My DS is of OS for a work trip today so spent some time with him on the phone. really just trying to keep busy. Stop overthinking everything. I'm trying to look forward to the knew house ( first place i've bought on my own) and job both of which will hopefully help me move on. Love the quotes too. Hope all you lovely ladies are doing ok.xx

Oldbook
I'm sorry about your mum's experience but your dad desrved it and she was justified.
Did your and dad's relationship ever recover?
Affairs is such mess and pain to everyone involved, probably even to men that playing away..

Morning all.

It's definitely better to admit to the strength of feelings than berating ourselves. Hope everyone is doing okay today

Day 24 for me . NC seems to be receding into the background somewhat , even substantially, and perversely I am a bit sad about that . His memory is not as fresh in my mind. I have difficulty recalling his face. Now how does that work ? I should be pleased !

He's still there every day in my mind but at a lower level. I realise it has ended and we won't resume .It does make me sad but in a calm resigned hopeless way . I'm still looking at him on WhatsApp but not as often and sometimes I do forget to look even. It even crossed my mind yesterday that maybe I could be friends with him after all but that is the way to madness. Feeling a bit sad this morning but in a different way . Think there is a bit of acceptance going on here .

Detailing this as hope it helps some others on here on what to expect at the various stages.

Morning all, @Bloody you are definitely making progress....the sadness is part of the deal.... But day 24 is amazing! I understand what you mean by even being sad that your memories of him are fading..... You are letting go of a major part of your life... But in the process making room for something better..

I have woken up anxious.... I am thinking of reaching out to NC one more time and asking him of her wants to come to this gig or not... I fear I am setting myself up for a fall