NC Dignity Club part 8: still wearing our crowns

[MyGastIsFlabbered]

Hopefully nobody else has started a thread, if so feel free to ignore this one

Breaking it down into more manageable chunks is good I think. At first it’s getting through the first few days. Then making it to a week. I’m trying to get to Friday now.
oldbrook you’re doing great. Accept it’s not going to be easy. Of course you want him to chase you. But for what? So things return to how they were?

My fantasy is about being in London later in the summer.
I have lost lots of weight.
I glide past in a pretty floaty silk summer dress, on my way to tea at the museum (with one of YOU lot)! / to sign my book deal / meet an MP at HoP to advise on a committee etc ;)
DOM sees me and his shrivelled heart cracks in two and he drops dead

and then (posted too soon in my excitement) I say:
'oh, look at that poor little old man, quite quite dead'' and keep walking,

And though it is more passing sadness to me than a stranger, it doesnt stop my progress and happiness.

I dont know how I can miss him so yet have this thought.
Perhaps I am stone hearted too?

Well done belonger you really are so strong!
Sorry so many have been struggling today, i hope it is easing this evening.
oldbrook well done for tying all loose ends. He doesn't know you mean it yet and doesn't know how much stronger you are... yet!
basseting please don't beat yourself up. As Mum's we often spend far too much time feeling guilty when our children have moved on. For them, it was in that moment, not all day as it was for you. Your card ir DOM physically made me LOL!
NK sorry you had defend yourself, has that particular issue been resolved? Glad NC is giving you some light relief.
seshi I am worried for you. If he comes you will want more and if he doesn't give it, you will be hurt and if he doesn't come you will be hurt.
rhubarb well done on week 1.
mother it is understandable that while worrying about your DC you reach out to those that should offer support. I hope she is ok and well very soon.
Hi teens bloody theparting and all you strong crown wearers.

teens bloody phew that it is not the sane silver fox! That thought used to cross my mind with other posters too.
My NC is younger too. Also covered in tattoos. Not my usual type but his smile, his hugs, the way he looked at me and how he made me laugh. I think it works the same way as we may find someone really unattractive if from the get go they seem horrible. Male or female.

Oh Basseting your fantasy makes me laugh.

Mine is that myself and NC are both single and I book a remote cottage for us and we spend 2 days getting to know each other again.

Anxious no nothing has been resolved. Don't think it will be. How are You?

Oliking I overthink too and as teens said i could think forever just about timing of blue ticks or online status etc.
myrelationship sorry the email shook you so much. How are you now?
ravens

basseting again you made me actually laugh out loud!!
NK lovely fantasy! Log fire I assume? Sounds perfect. Sorry it is not resolved yet.
I am Ok, thank you. Are you ok this evening?

belonger it makes perfect sense - something else can happen/go wrong in a totally different aspect of life and somehow it seems to stir up the NC thing .

My fantasy is to go skiing with my NC, Switzerland..

He "promised" me that trip...

OldBrook nah, him just realising you were 'the one' too late is not evil
You have to step over his stone dead body and keep walking for it to be a really evil fantasy. In reality, I will probably not know he has died until after the event and I will be devastated. Sigh.
I am writing my autobiography ('interesting' past, well to me anyway)
But not for publication, lol.
Glad i raised a couple of chuckles though. I do so much self indulgent whining usually. This place is a godsend, really, and you are all bloody [stars]

's!!!

@anxious... I am actually worried about myself as well.... I have literally been reeled back in like a fish and I am in dangerous territory. Need to find my armour and my crown again... Deliberately going to be very busy tomorrow and not message him as Reading back over our correspondence it's still all about him... Not once has he asked me how I am doing! God I am so stupid. @rhubarb it's lovely to hear from you again. @basseting let's go to London and all wear our crowns!!

These fantasies make me laugh, I have fantasies but usually with some kind of background music playing it out.

I'm a nurse so I fantasized that his dad(never met his dad) got ill and came to a&e and I was this awesome life saving nurse (which I am anyway). Afterwards his dad was so grateful to me and said I would be perfect for his son.... queue him then walking in and I'm shocked that this is his dad. I walk off to do notes and his dad proceeds to tell him how amazing I am.

Haha there was no music playing out on this one of course. Anyway I've had to delete all SM from my phone just to avoid the temptation to binge stalk

Ah OldBrook THAT is interesting.

I have realised I could never publish as straight autobiography (who'd be interested, i am not a celeb and people would recognise themselves and sue) so I am now rewriting as fiction. It'll never get published anyway but it is good 'therapy' for me.

I am in awe of your being published tho!

@oldbrook yes I have I think I just want to give him this one last chance to come good... I am going to leave him for a few days then see how he is...then totally walk away... We were really happy and then had the most awful argument and he ran a mile... There is a bit of me that wants to see him again just to see if it's really gone for him... I know that's ridiculous. When I got these tickets which were like gold dust there was a little voice at the back of my head saying this is fate as I was so lucky to get them... It was a fluke...
I don't know what to think... But foot off the pedal for the next few days x

Evening all
So I told new man I'd been ruminating and that I could not continue. I gave him reasons 1, 2 and 3 but not 4 obviously (that he's not such a good kisser as NC). He took it ok, but was sad, as was I. We've agreed that we'd still like to show each other round our farms though. I said as well that maybe if we're both still single in 6months there may be potential... but I made it clear that the shitstorm that is his ongoing divorce and dire financial situation is not something that I can support him through as a girlfriend at this stage. He offered to completely cut contact with that woman but I said no, it's not about her as such, that unsettled me but it was the reminder that I've trodden this path before and it didn't lead anywhere good! And that that relationship I was in 3 yrs ago ended badly because that man was too newly single. I said if I didn't learn from that, then what was the point. So... that's that it would appear.

Feel sad but thankfully no different about NC. I was worried that knocking this on the head would in turn put NC back into my headspace but it hasn't much, so far so good on that front 😊.

I meant to say thank you so much to those who'd given advice! Tbh, if I hadn't asked, i probably would have carried on so thanks for helping me see sense!

parting you sound so strong and you handled that so well. I am going to learn from you here :). It is so good to know when to walk away when it is not good for you. You deserve a star!

I'm okay thanks Anxious. Definitely a log fire and a hot tub too!

Loving all the other fantasies

Well done Theparting. That must have been tough

OK seshi sounds like you have a plan there ...but just be careful !

Feeling down tonight. I was in a real mess after my marriage broke down, 2 years later, still a mess I met NC. He saw me at my most vulnerable and was wonderful. He knows how big a thing it was for me to open up and trust again, and now he’s walked out too. When life got hard, he took the easy option. And I have been nothing but gracious to him (well one last text that I loved him then NC).
And I wonder if he’s got any idea how he’s left me. But never mind, I won’t give him the satisfaction, it is his loss. Maybe just occasionally he’ll wonder what became of me. I plan to live well (but not sure I’ll let my barriers down ever again).
Foolishly started listened to my sad divorce songs again!

I know exactly how that feels ravens but 3 years for my marriage . Yes very similar story to me . I can't listen to certain music yet that I associate with the NC . Make new playlists !!!