NC Dignity Club part 8: still wearing our crowns

[MyGastIsFlabbered]

Hopefully nobody else has started a thread, if so feel free to ignore this one

@basseting thank you... This is why I love and need this thread

Shit teens mine too - let's hope it's not the same guy !

Ha ha bloody nothing would surprise me at this point
What part of the country you in?

SE teens

We're in Yorkshire..

Were you shitting yourself as well though ?

Yep for a second..
Imagine him playing us both

as well as his wife ?? but then he has told me there was no one else and he has never lied to me ..ummmmmm????? Except about having a wife . Bastard !

Hello all. Been following and wishing you all. We’re all a bit up and down. I’m on 1 week nc now. Hoping not to break it. But as we sl now feelings can change very quickly. It’s like a fairground ride. I always find as the days pass, you do become more objective about them. It is always about missing how you felt rather than them.

I'm ok thanks basseting, have had a good cry and some crumpets and am just taking it easy. I think I'm just very emotional today for whatever reason, and I'm pleased that I've not tried to contact him to feel better. It might have distracted me temporarily but led to regret. I'll be OK.

Hi rhubarb, I was just wondering how you were, lovely to hear from you. Well done getting back on the NC wagon, keep just taking it one day at a time. You'll feel better for it!

rhubarb your last sentence says it all but I posted a link a bit back about our own capacity for love. We have it in us .

I've tried changing the goal posts and telling them all inc him that I will no longer 'permit' any contact so not to bother etc, thinking they would then think "Oh hang on...." but of course I ended up giving in and trying to get in touch with them again. It's like an obsession. I can't help it. I'm literally OBSESSED with getting an answer from them. WHY??????

There's quite literally no point in telling me not to bother. I'm wasting my time etc etc. I know this. But I just can't stop..... I need help

belonger aahhh crumpets I’ve exercised like mad today as been getting a bit grumpy and evil in thoughts . Am immersed in catch up tv at other times and going to try to start to read a book . I lost my focus for so long .

mother have you had any counselling to help work out what it is about the situation that is making you feel so obsessive and unable to let go?

Thanks guys. Always so welcoming on this thread. I really appreciate it.
belonger the hard days are a struggle arent they. But they do pass. I miss him. But I am doing the right thing. And that feels good too.

Although it's hard some days, it is great to get your mind back isn't it bloody? I like being able to read and work without having most of my mind on my phone.

I want to cut down on the time I spend on my phone generally, I think it would do me good.

mother abandonment is something that causes deep emotional distress . It is unexpected . Your life changes in an instant . It is not only you but your daughter as well that is affected . One thing I know is that you will likely never get an answer ! The kind of person who does this is an emotionally immature coward . Same question as above ? Have you had any help either counselling or meds with this ? Were you married ? Did I miss this ? Are you financially ok? You DO know where your ex is but he wants no contact , is that it ? As regards the family I would leave them to it .

mother i am not surprised you are struggling.
You have been abandoned your sick child has been abandoned, by him and all his family. They could not have been more shitty. Yet hope still torments you. I am so sorry. I agree the kind of people that would do that will never be able to give you an adequate 'answer' as there isnt one. They are utterly lacking. YOU however are a to continue being the best parent you can be in the circs. I want to give you a massive hug ((())))

Hello all. I’m still thinking about my NC far far too much, he’s hanging around in my head. But I’m mostly just constantly thinking what a shit he is, how he let me down, how he’s no better than my ex, how I trusted him, how he promised so much but delivered so little, how he’s spoilt what could have been good. I do not dwell on anything good or nice about him. I still love him, I just increasingly don’t like him very much. He probably doesn’t deserve all of it, but if it helps me get over him it’s all good. He did dump me so I owe him nothing. Maybe by day 30 I won’t care. We will talk one day - if only by that time for me to tell him what I think and burn my bridges.
Hmmm - I think I’m faking it till I make it!

ravens there is nothing wrong with that at all ! Do what you have to to get through it .

Well I've made it out the other side of my urge to contact him, phew. So pleased I didn't! Thanks for your support everyone, I'm still a bit low but I don't think it's about him, I think wanting to be in touch with him was a symptom rather than the cause if that makes sense. Just a dose if the blues and it's passing.

Yesssss! So pleased I resisted

Your counsellor sounds very good Oldbrook. You're dead right to have a sulk day. We all need to indulge ourselves a bit more and be kind to ourselves. Nothing back re: work email.

Ravens sounds like he ruined a great relationship