NC Dignity Club part 8: still wearing our crowns

[MyGastIsFlabbered]

Hopefully nobody else has started a thread, if so feel free to ignore this one

Belonger sending you strength today . I was feeling weak earlier ( not as much to text ) but in too much fond thinking of him ..once I said to myself This is OK to think this, it was better . I also went on then to thinking about what a dick he was as well and that certainly helped . We all deserve better.

It’s funny what you remember when the rose tinted glasses come off isn’t it!

myrelationship I knew at the time as well that he was a dick. Funny story - when I was trying to work it all out early on , I stuck on my fridge a list of PROS and CONS about him so that I looked at it everytime I stuck my head in the fridge for chocolate I would see it . I actually forgot to take it off the fridge when he came one time and only realised that it was still there when he was in the shower ! Luckily we had not gone into the kitchen first . Can you imagine ? Seeing a list there saying : He is a liar , He is a cheat , He is grumpy , He isn't my type physically etc ...

that’s brilliant! It’s crazy isn’t it, that even with the evidence there in black and white we still can’t get our hearts to catch up with what our heads have been telling us all along. You need to write yourself a bigger cons list

Thanks bloody, and I love your story about the list

I like the List story too.
I wish I'd put one on the fridge when he was here.
it would do him good to discover he was not Superman / Mr Perfect!

How are you now Belonger?

Still struggling I'm afraid nk, having a bit of a rubbish day. Pretty sure he would reply if I texted but trying super hard not to. I know I would regret it and I know this crap feeling is temporary and I just need to tolerate it until it passes.

You're so strong Belonger. I felt crap this morning so just messaged mine. He replied instantly and we had a bit of craic. He definitely makes me smile 90% of the time even if he is inappropriate

How are you doing NK?
Guess try to focus on job search, something will definitely come along.
Dont expect support from H, afterall you're not really together anymore .

My NC finally read my undignified message from last Thursday..he even spent couple of minutes online after reading it, probably rereading it-boost to his ego..

I'm so bloody used to analyse little tiny nuances of his behaviour: when he read it ,what he might think of it, purely because of him I discovered you can view when the person read your message down to the minute .ridiculous of me to go to such extent but amazing how much effort I put into this when I could just draw a line and say enough of stalking someone who doesn't need me..

No reply of course though.

Thanks nk, I really don't feel strong today. Will persevere though

You really are strong Belonger. I really admire you for not messaging even though you want to.

I'm okay Teens. Work is kind of taking over every thing but I am on the job hunt. I am not replying on H at all. I'm probably over relying on NC but in a light hearted way. Sorry your fella didn't reply

Well done belonger for tolerating it today . That is my attitude today as well . It's not permanent . Tomorrow will be better !

Teens yes WhatsApp is just a boon for stalkers ( I know ) - of course they will all know these messages are there and of course can see the start of the message anyway depending on their settings and as you say so easy to read (false) things into it.

basseting I would always have swiped left on my NC based on his photo/look but IRL he is/was? as sexy as you know . Physically not my type as well . Lots of "Nos" personality wise but I managed to convince myself that he was the man for me because of the mental and (other) physical attraction (sex) although I have questioned recently whether it was HIS desire for me that accelerated MY desire for him ....Doesn't say much for online dating, does it ?

To add I am beginning to wonder if this is the benefit of longer term NC - I am actually beginning to think more objectively about him ?

Belonger you might not feel strong but you certainly are.

Polish that lovely crown, put it on, admire yourself in the mirror!

Waves to teens x.

Bloody physical attraction and chemistry is so random isn't It!

Bloody i would never have even come across mine on OLD, he was below my minimum age settings (nearly 8 yrs younger), not to mention shorter and fatter than me, but because we met IRL, there was chemistry right from the word go. Weird isn't it how chemistry can overrule the norms of what you're looking for.

Why is that Theparting. It makes absolutley no sense to me at all

Theparting yes my NC is 10 years younger than me Isn't it just NK

My NC is a silver fox 8 years older than me..

Not a single black hair left on his head but sexy as hell, I never thought older man would wake up such desire in me though

Thanks everyone

DOM is not the 'type' that I went for, then or now.
He is 18 yrs older than me.
Always badly dressed and a stranger to personal hygiene and neither of those things have improved over the years. I remember the light catching him unflatteringly at the station last year and he looked about 90. I felt such tenderness, but also desire. Bloody odd, isnt it?

How are you doing now Belonger? any plans for this evening?

Hi ladies just walked in the door after a long day... Just had a quick read of what everyone has been up to... @basseting I just want to come over and look after you... Your ex h sounds about as much used as mine which is zero. I regularly lose it with my DS.. It's human please don't be hard on yourself. Your children will grow up and realise how much you do and how little he did.... My DS never argues with his dad as he hardly sees him... It's bloody hard!! @belonger @Bloody sorry that you have been struggling... I hope you are feeling better tonight... It's funny we all have good and bad days don't we...? I think we just have to accept that it's part of the process. But you are both strong... @nk thank you for your wise words. I Don't know if its a good idea.. He's so flaky that I am not banking on him coming. He has messaged me a bit today asking me to help in buy something over the Internet... He always used to get me to help him like this. It made me feel good again in a way but I am already seeing how quickly I can fall back into total dependency... So I am trying not to contact him now until a few days...I am hoping that he will ask to see me this weekend but he won't. He just uses me and yet I am crazy about him... Please shoot me!!!

I dont want to shoot you Seshi I want to hug you back.x.x.