Brave Babes (Hygge) Battle Bus: Snowed in and Drinking Hot Chocolate instead of wine

[SweetLathyrus]

Hi, I'm SweetLathyrus, Sweet for short, and I've been on and off Gerald the Brave Babes Battle Bus since 2014. Over the years, lots of us have maintained the thread, most of all the lovely Mouse, who has been here since the early days, and still scurries onboard when she can.

The bus is a place of support, safety and occasional silliness for those of us struggling with our relationship with alcohol. Some of us are sober, some are trying to be, some are moderating and aren't ready to give up alcohol just yet.

So whatever your reason for questioning the whys and WTFs of your drinking, hop on board, make yourselves comfortable and join in. Driers and Triers, all welcome.

2018 has been a busy year so far, lots of new travellers as well as old faces; if you want to read back on the journey through Dry or Dryer Jan and Feb so far, here's the link to the last thread

And in case you want to know how it all started, here is the link to JWN's original, inspiring thread

We've donned the snow chains, topped up the antifreeze, and turned the heaters up to loud, so even though it's cold outside, our welcome is always warm, so hop on and join us.

Twattage - I had cravings as the witching hour approached.

I have found that the uncomfortable feeling of "I want wine, I would sell my soul for a bottle" does pass.

I have found lots of useful resources online to cope with that feeling...

Ah yes buttonz - TBH mine is less craving for a beer than habit. It doesn't help I've had over a month of holidays - I need to re-programme myself.

Fortunately I've not drunk wine for almost 5 years so I never think about it any more!

x

Yes, the cravings I have are psychological... bloody wine!

Hi everyone, well day 3 basically done. Not actually had time to think about wine, as the time I got home and kids sorted the night is nearly over for me (that can only be a good thing). I’m working till 9pm tomorrow and in early Thursday so I feel positive about reaching day 5. Hope everyone else doing ok 👍

Day 2 done. It's amazing how the craving fades and you wonder what on earth all the angst was about, yet during the witching hour it is the only thing you can think about and would go to the most ridiculous lengths to get some booze!

Well done Ma and Maybe - yes, that awful feeling of wanting a drink... it does fade, more quickly than a hangover fades.

Morning all
Baking pleased to hear you are feeling better. I know what you mean about feeling scared of drinking now you have been AF for so long. I feel the same about wine. I have tried to drink it again since Dry Jan mainly because I have been with friends who I always share a bottle or two or three with and it’s a habit. It doesn’t normally turn out well so I have agreed with myself that I am going to change this habit. I am not going to drink wine anymore but will drink G&T as this does not have the same effect of having no off button. This means I don’t have to “deprive” myself if others are drinking but also I won’t end up going over the top. That’s the plan for after Dry April. I think very similar to your strategy with beer Twattage ?
With regard to drink driving that is something I couldn’t do and like you would always arrange things so I could get train, cab, walk etc. Oh the planning that used to go into journeys just so I didn’t have to drive.
Twattage I am sticking with the SW plan for eating as that has worked for me in the past.
Well done to all the babes for getting through these first days of Dry April. The proper test for me will be the weekend.
Have a good day everybody. I’m off to boxercise tonight after work.

Morning all - well done everyone! Great progress...I was asleep before 9 so only just reading this now.

baking - yes I am also physically and mentally scared to ever drink wine. I am absolutely certain that my life would self-destruct should I ever go near it again. Hence I don't touch it - I wouldn't recommend trying to go back to it TBH.

trust - yes that's my strategy. I have noticed since I've been tracking on my DJ app this year that the habit I'd developed with beer is easy to stop with a bit of thought and distraction. I don't get that witching hour feeling where I would basically kill someone if I couldn't get near the wine!

I have also noticed that my number one trigger is boredom. I can't remember who else had that, but based on this weekend (wet and horrible), it absolutely is. I drank Sat and Mon over the weekend but that's a 50% improvement of what I'd have been doing if I'd not been tracking and on here.

Right - am off client-side so had better get up!

xxx

Morning babes, button I’m going to keep in mind that a craving goes away a lot quicker than a hangover. I’m actually glad to be working all weekend as couldn’t stomach working with a hangover. Going to promise myself to check in here everyday. Have a good day everyone x

baking go you on not drinking when you were away. I think the thing is when you drink a lot like your friends (like my friends....) you do take risks, they are gradual and build up. It changes you. I took some awful risks when drinking and I am so grateful more did not happen. So grateful. It's only when you are out of the drinking haze that you can take a look at the decisions being made without the need for alcohol.

Congratulations everyone for dry April.

I had 150 days af on Monday but if I had a glass of wine I'd be back to wine every day in no time. Wine is terrifying.

For me life is so much better without alcohol. Today I won't drink. 6 months and first sober birthday around the corner. Going to plan something nice. Have a first sober holiday and sober wedding around the corner. I'm alright about them. Not worrying like I was about sober events. I know for me this is better. And for others I'm not that important so they prob won't notice and if they do me not drinking is far more important than fitting in.

100% with you there say. It is my 5 year anniversary of not drinking wine on 19 April. I have not missed it for one single day!

As soon as you start viewing it as something toxic and horrible it is much easier to think of it as something you don't want to do any more.

I know easier said than done! X

Wow Twattage 5 years is amazing!! I think you are right with that word wine is toxic.

Just wish it wasn't such a normal part of society!! Arh well. There's even a little part of me that has started to feel proud to say I don't drink. Rather than the shame I felt initially. Don't get me wrong there's still a lot of awkwardness but it's all getting easier.

I think in the UK we've got into a bad cycle of drinking wine by itself rather than as an accompaniment to meals primarily.

If you look at most other countries, they don't do this. My best friend now doesn't drink it unless she is eating (she doesn't have an alcohol issue but has decided it's weird to be downing massive glasses by themselves). Marketing and peer pressure have a lot to answer for!

It probably took me the best part of a year to get out of the shameful phase and starting to feel proud / not caring. A turning point for me was when I lived abroad after 11 months of sobriety, started to drink beer and no-one cared I didn't drink wine at all.

I agree about wine. Even on mumsnet they had a glass of wine emoticon long before a mug of tea (and then only when requested).

Interesting venus. I am a long-time lurker on here and only came out (so to speak) to join this thread! No idea on the history.

Today was boring and with not many meetings (hence me posting during the day) but after a 3 hour to and from the client, I am tired and want to get in bed. Shower, pjs, cat etc about to take place.

x

The whole "mums need wine" thing is everywhere...

It seems so acceptable, nowadays, to use wine as a reward...

One interesting thing I read somewhere is that people with drink problems subconsciously make their lives seem stressful, in order to justify their drinking. I'm sure I have been guilty of this.

yes, its true that they don't tend to neck wine on its own in other countries the way we do here. When I go to visit my friend in France they sometimes serve a glass or two with dinner....and that's it. I'm sitting gagging for a big glass more but they offer me a tisane!!
Not AF today but have had two G and Ts. No wine so still better.

Morning all. Seems like it’s going to be a sunny day here today. Boxercise was good last night. Hard to get back in the routine after holiday but once you start it feels good. Am feeling fresh this morning and definitely won’t be drinking today. I have booked exercise classes tonight tomorrow and Saturday so hopefully I will also make it through the weekend AF.
Have a good day babes

Morning all - just rousing myself from a massive sleep :).

I have date night tonight so will be in the sidecar - then the husband will be away for a few days whilst I stay in town. I also have a girlie evening on Sat, haven't decided if I will be AF or not as yet. Will see how I feel.

Other than that - sober all the way. I have just checked my DJ tracker and it is a massive improvement pre-23 March when I restarted my WW plan and recommitted. I'm aiming for 24 days sober this month.

Off for another day client-side so will be super busy today.

Good day to all. xxx

I think the whole attitude to drinking in the UK is really unhealthy. Wine, gin all of it. Where I used to live we had what was primarily a coffee shop with lovely views that opened until 10pm in the summer months, 9pm in winter. It was always heaving on a weekend because there wasn't anywhere else like it. You got a real mix of people in there too from very young to very old. I think we need more places like that.

Say I've done some incredibly risky stupid things through drink. The longer I'm sober the more I wonder what I was thinking. Bizarrely I don't actually regret the 10 years or so I spent completely wrecked because I feel like they all led to DS's father and without him I wouldn't have DS but at times I really wonder how I survived.

It's been sunny and bright today. Me&DS had a long walk this afternoon. For some reason the sunshine has made me want lager so I've put some Becks Blue in the fridge for later. Day 95 for me today. Hope everyone else is good and staying strong for dry April.

Day 3 of dry April done here, feeling ok. Not sleeping well yet, but I know it’ll come.
Am tucked up in bed with fruit tea and my book, while not so ‘d’h watches rubbish downstairs. He’s decided to moderate by having 3 nights a week off the wine, it won’t last, it never does. I wish he’d just bloody well get on with it, rather than keep telling me how marvellous he is, the twat.

Night all

Evening babes, (well what’s left of it) had a shitty day at work so was just glad to get home. I must say there was temptation to buy wine but I had Chinese instead. I will catch up properly tomorrow. Night all x

Friday night..... in bed early but still awake. Glad to be warm and dry and sober.

Tomorrow will arrive more gently - gentle on my eyes and limbs, but also gentle on my psyche, fewer recriminations, fewer harsh feelings, fewer regrets.

Doesn't matter if you weren't AF last night, today you CAN, and look forward to a gentler morning on Sunday x

Day 103! This has been a long hard slog that's for sure.
Sorry I haven't been on for a while. Things at home have been so awful so I've just been throwing myself in to all the overtime I can get. 😕
I'm just so tired and run down right now. I need sun. I'm so over the snow .
Hope all you lovely babes are ok.

bloody well done mint. you are truly awesome to still be AF after all you have been going through. Very proud of you Babe.
Been trying ot moderate here and stay off the wine...not entirely succesfully.