Brave Babes (Hygge) Battle Bus: Snowed in and Drinking Hot Chocolate instead of wine

[SweetLathyrus]

Hi, I'm SweetLathyrus, Sweet for short, and I've been on and off Gerald the Brave Babes Battle Bus since 2014. Over the years, lots of us have maintained the thread, most of all the lovely Mouse, who has been here since the early days, and still scurries onboard when she can.

The bus is a place of support, safety and occasional silliness for those of us struggling with our relationship with alcohol. Some of us are sober, some are trying to be, some are moderating and aren't ready to give up alcohol just yet.

So whatever your reason for questioning the whys and WTFs of your drinking, hop on board, make yourselves comfortable and join in. Driers and Triers, all welcome.

2018 has been a busy year so far, lots of new travellers as well as old faces; if you want to read back on the journey through Dry or Dryer Jan and Feb so far, here's the link to the last thread

And in case you want to know how it all started, here is the link to JWN's original, inspiring thread

We've donned the snow chains, topped up the antifreeze, and turned the heaters up to loud, so even though it's cold outside, our welcome is always warm, so hop on and join us.

Sweet That's really thoughtless of DS's dad. It's a stressful time of year anyway and the mid teenage years when you're between child and adult are hard. Poor DS. Good for you on not drinking though. It's easy to slip into 'just the one to feel better' mode in these situations

Ma Your poor Mum. At least she's being looked after ok now. Can she get one of those necklace alarm things? My Dad go my Gran one after a similar incident when she fell on a Friday and sat on the floor until her friend came to take her shopping on Saturday.

Twattage When the commute is bad I think it makes the day so much worse. We haven't had any normal people in work the last 2 days. They've all been loons and the atmosphere is awful.

Trust I'm reading Lisa Jewell and I've read a few of Liane Moriaty's. I'm going to look up the rest of your authors and see if there's any others I may like!

Mavis Day 44 is amazing!

Working Make sure you buy something nice with the savings. Treats were important to me.

Everything's ok with me. Work has been stressful this week. DS has started to pick his chicken pox scabs. I'm not impressed. They look a mess. My parents go on holiday this weekend so I'm off work for 12 days. I feel a bit nervous as I could use the time to smoke and drink. I know I shouldn't and I probably won't. It's just the temptation...

Hi to Lux, Venus, Mint, Duchess and everyone else.

Forgot to say, today is day 11 for me, I didn't even notice making it to double figures!

Baking, is it the commute making people loons, or just something in the water? You are doing so well, I understand how scary having more time might be. I've already primed my Mum that I'm on a diet so I'm not drinking for my trip there in a couple of weeks.

Went pre-birthday shopping with DH today (he didn't know what to get me, and I didn't really think I wanted anything! But I got two tops and had lunch (fizzy ginger, chilli, and fennel to drink), then took SweetDog for a walk - and managed a recall mid-rabbit chase. So, good day all round.

DS seems to be coping with his father's dickishness, we've chatted, I've also emailed the school who have lodged it with the exams officer, just in case there are any issues.

Hope all you Babes have had a good day.

Hello all! 👋🏻 Just popping on to say I've enjoyed another booze-free week! Getting so much more fine and the evenings seem full of possibilities now, not just a slump.

Work meeting tomorrow night where beers are usually served, but two of the 4 of us can't drink, I'd rather not, and the remaining person probably won't.

Then it's just the weekend to get through. Would really like to fo that, after last Saturday's beets.

Good luck to everyone here 😊

sweet you are doing really well. your ex is being a complete twat.
Mum still in hospital. She has an alarm but wasn't wearing it when she fell.
Am a bit pissed

Morning All,

Well done, Whats, it's easier with sober company - that's why I've told my Mum, she's not supposed to drink because of her blood pressure, but often does just because I've opened a bottle. By telling her I won't be drinking, I'll have fruit tea drinking company!

Ma I hope you're ok this morning, you have such a lot going on, (again, life needs to give you a break), be gentle with yourself.

Well, I suspected as much, but DS has been bottling up crap from his Dad for years. The total cunt apparently bends DSs ear about how awful I am every time he visits, which is why he avoids going or Skype-ing. ExP also makes a great show of his (frankly self-imposed) poverty (again, my fault), so DS goes all the way to Wales to do nothing, his Dad doesn't get up with him, and won't give him the wifi code . And the stuff with his grandmother has brought all this, and more out. I have promised to intervene, because he doesn't want to travel for almost four hours to sit at the bedside of an elderly dying woman he hardly knows, with a man he might love, but definitely doesn't like.

Anyway, I'm feeling strong, going to a double aqua class now (gulp), when we are on page 40 I'll prepare a new thread, just in case Mouseface isn't back {scans the horizon for Mouse, and wafts some stinky camembert to entice her back}.

SO, Babes, what is everyone doing to keep themselves AF or moderate for Friday night?

I'm taking DS to what I hope is his last ever math tutor session, then cooking him steak and sweet potato fries (because he's had a tough week). Then PJs on, becks blue and re-painting my toe nails.

I had a brief thought this morning, how nice it would be to have just one glass of wine tonight, but of course, it wouldn't be just one, and would probably lead to another bottle tomorrow, so I'm sticking firm, it's AF for me.

Hi everybody
Just want to wave
Am still here
Been back on the bus a week ..well sort of ,
I had one glass at a Freinds last night , had I gone to the gym as planned this wouldn’t have been
I felt pleased I only had one though
my eyes look all bright and my face isn’t puffy , far less makeup needed .
Really getting a lot from “ lurking “ so Thankyou so much

Party tomorrow
Am going to do the driving .. on the understanding I can drive home when I am tired and they taxi if needed ( they are my Freinds )

I still can’t figure out how to highlight names on this iPad
Think I need a new one but am skint
So just a huge blanket Thankyou too you all

When it gets tough I am going to remind myself what a crap Mum I am when I have a hangover
That’s what I am going to fight to hold onto when the demons strike

Thinking of you all

Morning All.

Bumble, if you put the money aside from not drinking, howling before you had enough for a new tablet? (Assuming their aren't other priorities).

I've not felt great the last two days, (pain in sinuses, not sleeping well) just a bubbling under, not quite giving in to a lurgy kind of feeling. But I'm still more productive than when I'm drinking.

Ironically, one of the things helping me to stay sober is the current fashion for gin drinking - so many nice tonic waters, my local Sainsburys has a huge selection.

It's been a bit quiet here for a few days - lots of busy Babes, but don't be afraid to post particularly if you are struggling - I'm guilty of that.

SweetLathyrus
To put it politely, he sounds like a knobhead! Hope your son is ok.
ma
Another glorious day up here! WTF is going on? It's like I'm in some alternative universe.
twattage
How did the theatre go? What did you see? I haven't been for years!
lux
I just bought myself a lovely bag in a sale. £'s GULP but it should outlast me.

Waves at trust and baking and all the other babes old and new.

I had my scan during the week. Now two weeks to wait for the result. I'm fed up feeling like crap. I'm very bloated all over which is slightly annoying as I'm on holiday from tomorrow and can't fit in anything! I WILL not drink on holiday.

Mint, it is why he's an Ex

You are doing so well (with so many things coming at you), hope it's nothing serious - I didn't realise you weren't well?

murky here in fife mint but hopefully will brighten up soon.
have my glad rags on as am off to Edinburgh for the Gun Salute and some serious soldier ogling

Morning All.

How were the soldiers, Ma, did they have big guns?

Still AF here, but had lots of thoughts about 'just the one' yesterday. Consequently, I spent the whole day grazing. I know it will get better, but I wish I could skip to the weight loss.

Fnar, fnar sweet.
"Is anything worn under your kilt?"
"No, it's all in perfect working order!"

Morning all - I have had a terrible few days hence not posting. Been in the sidecar.

I have come to the conclusion that I am going to have to leave my contract - it became apparent at the back end of the week that the person I report into has not had the back of me or my team with the people above, consequently they are not clear what we're doing through no fault of our own.

The budget is under review and I am being threatened that if I don't do an amazing job in a meeting on Weds then we may get fired. This threat was made in front of the entire team. I have also been sworn at this week by the same person, who also implied that I haven't been doing any work.

I work really hard, have massively high standards, and have pulled this function out of a hole of no product, no outcomes, no quality stuff happening, since September last year when they brought me in and fired my predecessor.

We are on a TSB style project with a go-live situation coming up - I am really concerned that something major is going to go wrong (things are in a mess generally but outside my control) and I will be working all hours to try to fix the problem but it will be an impossible task. They have put no money aside to pay us out of hours or at weekends, and I was told we'd just have to do whatever it takes to sort it out in that situation.

I don't think I can face it. On top of what is now a 4 hour daily commute I can't do it.

Am going to work through to end of July and then give my month notice - that will mean I have cash through to March next year. I have unfortunately just booked a second holiday in Jan / Feb next year so just hoping that won't put a new client off hiring me. If it does it does.

Anyway all this means is that I have consumed too many beers over the last couple of days but have woken up this morning out the other side - I also had terrible PMT on Friday and spent most of the day crying down the phone to people I trust.

In other news I went to 42nd Street with my bestie - sorry didn't want to say ahead of going. It was awesome - everyone should go if you like theatre. Got back v late Thursday night as we ended up in the pub so that didn't help as I've been waking at 5am with stress every day this week.

Have finally got some sleep overnight and I know I've turned a corner in my head. I need to prioritise my health and wellbeing over any contract - if I burn out then I won't be able to work.

Anyway sorry for massive post. I just needed to write it down. Hopefully I haven't said anything too specific and outing.

I hope all other babes are ok. Onwards...

Morning from Glasgow airport! I'm waiting to fly down South. I'm terrified of flying, ever since I saw Final Destination when the plane floor drops away. I know that's stupid and irrational but at the time I was going through MH issues and its stayed with me. So if there's ever time I need Gin, it's right now. It doesn't help I'm in having tea next to a table having Bellinis. 😕 I am just using the wifi to download Holby to watch on the plane.

twattage sounds like you have made the right decision. You sound amazingly competent so I'm sure you will be hired by another client.

mint you will be fine. Just breathe deeply and try to relax

had a massive drinking session last night with my brother and sil who have come up to visit mum. Seriously need to get a grip. am also worried about how much dd1 is drinking - guess that apple didn't fall far from the tree...

Morning @MintToBee Good luck on the flight! Maybe grab some RescueRemedy in Boots if you're a nervous flyer? I swear by that stuff. (But careful, as the liquid version does contain brandy.)

@Twattage13 Your work situation sounds HORRIFIC. Who is that idiot who's threatening you in front of everyone? Are they someone who wanted your position? I can't believe they expect you to work overtime/weekends for free.

Definitely prioritise your health over everything else. Work stress is a nightmare. Don't feel guilty - the company were in a mess before you got there, it's not your mission in life to save/rescue them. Some shit just can't be fixed. (It's taken me 40 years to learn that lesson.)

I've had 3 bottles of beers and a small cider this weekend. The beers were at the work party (I just caved in the first time someone offered me a drink) and the cider was yesterday.

I like seeing the contrast between drinking and not drinking. This way, I'm not idolising booze, I get to see exactly how it affects me. And I'm starting to realise it's not as nice as I've always thought it was. It makes me sleepy, insecure, and 250% more likely to say something inappropriate. I go from a model of diplomacy and charm to a loose cannon. I used to think drunk-me was funny, now I just think I'm risky. I've definitely made a fool of myself on booze - my 20s were really bad for that. And it gives me the Fear.

I'm very happy/secure in not drinking on weekdays now, which is great. My next step is learning how to navigate social situations sober. We have a dinner party next Saturday night - everyone will be drinking. I'd be quite happy to learn how to drink slowly. I neck every drink at the same speed whether it's booze or not.

Thank you for the kind words ma.

whats - the person who threatened me and swore at me is my functional boss (don't have a line manager as am a consultant). So no he doesn't want my job!

He has also tried to force me to cancel my two-week holiday in September - I have refused (it won't be an issue now anyway as I won't be there). It was pre-booked before I even took this contract and I see no reason to cancel it. It is two months ahead of the new go-live date so does not sit over anything that couldn't be covered by other people.

I guess I posted because I've entirely lost perspective on how I am being treated (I've got some kind of Stockholm syndrome going on I think). This is my third contract and I was not treated like this in the previous two. It does not feel right at all.

whats totally agree with you on the drinking.

I am enjoying not drinking for 5 days a week (this week by an exception due to stress but have had a good run in the last few weeks). I also believe I am a loose canon and I don't like it at all.

Although TBH the stress has not been helped by the booze at all. I know this perfectly well. This contract is not doing me any good - I don't think it is a coincidence that it has upset my previous 4 years of good moderation.

Just checking in briefly to say I made it. The sky didn't fall down, nobody cut the string holding the plane up and I've brought the beautiful Scottish weather with me. Just as well as I forgot my coat.

Well done@MintToBee! I've never even attempted a sober flight. So yay!

@Twattage13 Do you think your idiot boss bloke feels threatened by you because you're (apologies if I've assumed incorrectly!) female?

Whatever reason, he sounds like an arse. Not surprised you're stressed, drinking, and hating it. Ugh - such a shame!

I've joined WW. This will definitely help my sobriety because booze is SO POINTY! I'm allowed 23 points a day; a pint of cider is 25. 😱 So I couldn't drink even if I wanted to.