Brave Babes (Hygge) Battle Bus: Snowed in and Drinking Hot Chocolate instead of wine

[SweetLathyrus]

Hi, I'm SweetLathyrus, Sweet for short, and I've been on and off Gerald the Brave Babes Battle Bus since 2014. Over the years, lots of us have maintained the thread, most of all the lovely Mouse, who has been here since the early days, and still scurries onboard when she can.

The bus is a place of support, safety and occasional silliness for those of us struggling with our relationship with alcohol. Some of us are sober, some are trying to be, some are moderating and aren't ready to give up alcohol just yet.

So whatever your reason for questioning the whys and WTFs of your drinking, hop on board, make yourselves comfortable and join in. Driers and Triers, all welcome.

2018 has been a busy year so far, lots of new travellers as well as old faces; if you want to read back on the journey through Dry or Dryer Jan and Feb so far, here's the link to the last thread

And in case you want to know how it all started, here is the link to JWN's original, inspiring thread

We've donned the snow chains, topped up the antifreeze, and turned the heaters up to loud, so even though it's cold outside, our welcome is always warm, so hop on and join us.

Well done mint that's amazing.

Sorry for being quiet myself - ended up working until around 10pm yesterday. I have two vacancies in my team at the moment and went to sound out someone I know last night down our local, who has applied for one of them. It looks they may both work out and I'll have a full team by mid-May, which will be a massive relief (I haven't had a fully resourced team since I started my contract last September).

Undecided about whether I am in sidecar or not tonight - either way I won't be going over my WW points on beer!

Good day all. xxx

Hi everyone, I've posted here before under another name. I was trying to moderate but it is just a slippery slope back to drinking almost every night.
I need to just draw a line under it and go completely AF I think. I am struggling to get over a relationship breakdown but to be honest the drinking has always been an issue. White wine is my downfall. I've been drinking more than a bottle a night and I just need to stop. I've had enough of feeling guilty about drinking. I've also to my shame driven to the shop to get more wine when I've been over the limit. I also need to stop smoking. I started about a year ago smoking everyday, again slippery slope after years of occasional ciggies. I feel so down. I am meant to go away for a weekend with friends in a few weeks and I am dreading it as it will be a massive drinking session and I just don't want to do it. I want this to stop. I wonder if this is my rock bottom.

I've just been reading through earlier posts on this thread and it seems that wine is a really common problem. This is my issue, I have no off switch with wine. It's not as bad with beer or gin but I know from experience if I start drinking one of those then I will lapse back onto the wine.
Has anyone had success with staying AF but having Becks Blue etc or does it just lead to relapse?
As someone said upthread, I just feel that alcohol is dangerous for me. I really don't want to do this anymore :(

In the sidecar this weekend.

The only "plus" is that, a year ago today, I got so drunk that I passed out in a pub and in my "sleep" took the top half of my clothing off.

Yes, my tits were out in public.

I got barred from the pub and remembered nothing about the evening until, the following day, my concerned friend told me what had happened.

At least I'm not doing that tonight, but I still have a drink problem and there have several other drunken evenings in public.

Morning all

Had a lovely Saturday going into London. Met up with one of my oldest friends and we went to Tate Modern (I used to be a member back in the day but haven't been for years), then we walked to Soho, met our BF in the pub (we all know each other from school so have been friends for over 30 years), out for sushi, then a quick back to the pub and then home.

Managed to stay within my WW points on beer and also did 19k steps yesterday so feeling a bit knackered today. Am back on the straight and narrow now until at least Thursday. Have A LOT of work on this week so will be happy to be on the tea every evening.

chiara - not sure about becks blue - I think some other people drink them but as a general rule, I don't drink anything with calories in it when I'm sober (not really thought about this but it's true - I only drink water, black coffee and rooibus generally).

Probably helpful for you to think about what it is you're trying to replace? Is it the taste of beer or is it the habit of drinking out of a bottle or a wine glass? I can recommend fizzy water in a wine glass with a big chunk of lime - really yummy.

buttonz - I know that's awful but you didn't do it yesterday and the memory, whilst horrible, is stopping you going crazy by the sounds of it.

Am having a super quiet day today with the Sunday papers, have a book to finish and that's about it!

xxx

Good morning. I have posted this on another part of MN and was directed over to you guys, I hope you don’t mind me posting.

Sorry if this is a bit rambly and doesn’t make much sense, I’ve been awake since 3am feeling guilty over my drinking and behaviour towards my DP because of it last night.

I cannot drink in moderation, once I open a bottle of wine, I will drink the whole thing in two hours max and then drink whatever else is in the house. This happens far more often than I would like.

I have recently found myself thinking about having a drink earlier and earlier or counting down the hours until an “acceptable” drinking time.

I cannot and have never socialised without alcohol apart from when I was pregnant and I hated every minute of it.

My mum had issues with alcohol through most of my life but has recently stopped and our relationship is so much better. I don’t ever want my DCs to go through what I did.

I’m unsure where I go from here, I did contact AA but on further reading on their website, I find the whole “higher power” thing not for me at all.

Any help/advice/hand holding would be great

Morning barry - I wouldn't automatically discount AA.

They were extremely helpful to me when I was at rock bottom 5 years' ago. That said it's not for me in the longer term right now. I guess it depends if you feel you can go it alone or not. I would give them a call and talk things through. If you read the original thread (the link is in the opening post) you will see people who have gone to AA but not bothered about the higher power thing - I agree it can be off-putting.

x

Welcome Barry stick around and read back through earlier threads if you have time, everything you have written applies to just about everyone here.
We all get it and you'll get lots of support here.

It is possible to quit the wine habit but not easy.

Thanks Twattage my worry is that drinking fake alcohol is just as doomed to relapse as moderation.
hi Barry - I think I saw your post on alcohol support. A lot of what you say rings a bell. Yesterday was a terrible day for me after a heavy night drinking on Friday. I feel slightly better today. I think I need to try and make sobriety a project and in fact make it my number one priority. I've made so many excuses for drinking. Then once I've had one night of drinking, I desperately want to do it again the next night. I had 2 AF days last week and then went out for a drink after work. Once I'd had one drink, that was it for the following 4 nights. I don't want this anymore. I just want it to stop.

chiara - if you're worried about it then don't do it! There's no point torturing yourself thinking about Becks Blue when you can just avoid it.

Personally I've found a way of moderating that suits me (although I still have to be mindful and it helps me to be on here) but for many people it's not an option.

You are correct, you need to make sobriety your number 1 priority if you're serious about it and you have a problem (I do and that's why I am vigilant every day). I allowed myself to get a bit laissez faire in December and it gave me a bit of a shock so now I am tracking on the DJ app and reading / contributing to this thread this year.

Thanks again Twattage it's good to know there are people out there who understand. great that you've managed to moderate. I have tried a couple of time and got into a good routine where I was distracting myself by going to gym on weekday evenings. But that got disrupted by illness and social events in the week and I slipped back. I'm just scared that I can't moderate. And also scared about how I cope with being around other people who are drinking.
I have thought about AA but I wouldn't want to go to a mixed group. I think I could do a women only one, need to look for one close by.

Aw bless you chiara - everybody on here understands completely. I have been through all the stages you're worried about and TBH if moderating became an unhappy experience I would be going back to teetotal again.

I firmly believe that if you have a problem with wine, it is not possible to moderate it without torturing yourself!

If you are worried about being around drinkers then I would cut out some social activities in the short term or make sure you have a good set of excuses - antibiotics etc.

xxx

Mint Well done still being AF despite everything. That's really impressive.

Twattage Good news on the employee front. Having a full team is bound to make stuff easier.

Welcome Chiara I have Becks Blue now and again if I fancy the taste of lager. I quite like it. I didn't use it for the first few weeks in case I found it triggering (I stopped smoking properly at Christmas too) but I'm ok having it now.

Welcome Barry Come and read/post of here. I found it made a big difference to me when I started trying to stop.

Ma Are you still doing dry April?

Sweet, Rothbury, Slings everyone else. Hope you're ok.

I took DS on the train to the museum today. We've not been before. It was good fun and he behaved really well for me. I'm on day 98 today. I'm very proud. That's a quarter of 2018. More than I ever thought I'd manage.

rothbury if you are reading, please say hello. I don't want to be the last standing in 2018! x

hi all
Dry April has not gone well at all, so will try again this week. I have a rather odd week ahead. I am joining the Royal Navy Officer cadets for two days as they sail from Inverness, down Loch Ness and the Caledonian Canal. Overnights in Inverness and fort Augustus. That should keep me sober. My job is nothing if not varied..
Welcome to new babes

Evening all.
AF 3 days from tues then moderated over the weekend, 3 bottles of wine in total, not good I know but way way better than the 6 or 7 bottles I would have had a few months ago. So planning my usual 4 days AF starting tomorrow, need to make this a habit. Very hard at the moment for me to be completely AF, ‘d’h sabotages in order to big himself up. I know that’s not an excuse and I need to deal with it. I’m trying.
Bedtime now.

Ma I think your job sounds really interesting. It always sounds so varied. When I lived further south I used to travel to work in different stores and being in smaller shops meant I did a bit of everything. Since relocating my role's really narrowed down but they pay better and I kind of miss the variety although hotel stays don't really fit with young children.

Slings There's nothing wrong with a bit of moderation. I moderated or tried too for a good few months last year and it worked quite well.

School/nursery starts back for us today. I've really enjoyed the last few days. Don't really want to get back into it and I'm busy on my non-working days aswell. I find out if DS has a school place at my 1st choice primary soon too. I haven't thought about it in ages.

I tried the Morrison's Mojito Mocktail last night. It was really good. I've got the J20 spritz watermelon one to try next week. Someone suggested it to me a while ago.

Thanks twattage and cupcakes for your kind words and to other babes.
I'm feeling incredibly fragile. I don't want to drink. I don't ever want to feel this shit about myself. I'm so scared that I can't stop myself from drinking again.
I've read Catherine Gray's book which is really good, and am partway through Jason Vine which makes a lot of sense to me.
I've been chain drinking cups of tea and vaping like a madwoman.
Here's hoping x

I've downloaded The Sober Diaries by Clare Pooley and I can identify with every word.

Ironically, it cost about the same as a bottle of wine.

I'll add that one to the reading list buttonz
Got through the 6pm itch with an innocent berry smoothie, which tastes a bit like a daiquiri style cocktail.
Sending hugs to all babes

Thanks, Chiara - I'm in the bloody sidecar again...

I've drunk a bottle of wine.

However, whoop-a-fucking-do, at least I haven't had my usual three (or four) gin and tonics as well.

Hello, May i join you please? I have not used mumsnet before but this was recommended to me by a lady on a different forum. I have just stopped drinking and I know I will struggle. I will try and catch up with your stories over the next few days.
thanks
Nutti.

Welcome nutti - of course.

I have had the most stressful couple of days.

Really struggled Sunday evening being out of routine and then yesterday the client fired one of my team in the PM (most unceremoniously - can't say more than that).

I also hired someone in the morning. It was a total adrenaline / stress situation and I came home and had 4 beers to get over it. I then passed out and slept amazingly well last night so I obviously needed it - haven't slept well probably since some time last week as have been worried about recruitment and the person struggling.

Have an interview on Tuesday for the other role in my team and then hopefully things will resolve themselves. In the meantime I'm finally feeling like I can get back on track.

TODAY I WILL NOT BE DRINKING.

xxx

Hi babes - please can I crawl back on the bus........

Hi everyone, I'm just squeezing on the bus to join you all for a trip if that's ok. Day 1 starts tomorrow for me, joining Weight Watchers and staying on the bus for at least ten weeks I hope to coincide with a holiday (longer if I can) Longest I have done AF is 4 months and I lost 2stone and felt amazing.