Brave Babes (Hygge) Battle Bus: Snowed in and Drinking Hot Chocolate instead of wine

[SweetLathyrus]

Hi, I'm SweetLathyrus, Sweet for short, and I've been on and off Gerald the Brave Babes Battle Bus since 2014. Over the years, lots of us have maintained the thread, most of all the lovely Mouse, who has been here since the early days, and still scurries onboard when she can.

The bus is a place of support, safety and occasional silliness for those of us struggling with our relationship with alcohol. Some of us are sober, some are trying to be, some are moderating and aren't ready to give up alcohol just yet.

So whatever your reason for questioning the whys and WTFs of your drinking, hop on board, make yourselves comfortable and join in. Driers and Triers, all welcome.

2018 has been a busy year so far, lots of new travellers as well as old faces; if you want to read back on the journey through Dry or Dryer Jan and Feb so far, here's the link to the last thread

And in case you want to know how it all started, here is the link to JWN's original, inspiring thread

We've donned the snow chains, topped up the antifreeze, and turned the heaters up to loud, so even though it's cold outside, our welcome is always warm, so hop on and join us.

Lovely to see you Mouse. We’ll all bring lovely warm snuggly stuff for your nest.

Sweet - you ok?

Waves to all

Good morning, hope everyone is ready for a fabulous Friday, a gentle evening of tea and relaxation, ready to make the most of the weekend.

Ok...so it's very quiet on here atm. Please don't tell me everyone's in the side car except me. I could actually murder a can tonight. I won't be having any as there's none here but I wish I'd bought that becks blue the other day now.

Nothing to report from me really. We have snow coming tomorrow. I hope the winter weather is over by next week as I'm meant to be driving us 200 miles south for a holiday. I can't deal with adverse weather. It's why I booked for Easter not February half term.

I'm a bit nervous all my positivity around not drinking or smoking will disappear when we get there. I hope not.

Sweet and Rothbury, are you ok?

How's everyone else?

Also, I've tried the Morrison's best Raspberry Mojito Mocktail this week. I liked it a lot. A bit different. I've got the ordinary Mojito Mocktail one to try tonight. There's other's in the same range I've not tried yet but I can't remember the flavours. They're worth a look.

hi baking. I'm here but I am in the sidecar. You are doing really well to still be AF.
I will try the raspberry mojito - it sounds good.
I'm supposed to be travelling to London on Monday so I hope the snow isn't too bad

Hello - waves to the legend that is mouse

I am still here.

Because of the crazy restrictions around people who work in FE, I will have to resign rather than take redundancy as otherwise I will have to be without work for 90 days after I took redundancy pay (assuming my new job was in education/local government)

To be honest, having got over the initial shock I am ANGRY as hell. I have pushed and pushed myself way over the edge to the point I was having panic attacks at work and ended up on anti anxiety meds. I have been working 60/70, on occasions even 90 hours a week. I feel utterly taken for a mug.

When it's all over I will explain more but don't want to out myself etc.

I have only told three people so far outside of work and all three have offered me a job so I am not too worried. It may mean a geographical change is on the cards though but what the hell! DD is already at uni and DS will follow this autumn and their father lives locally in large house with 3 empty bedrooms so maybe he can pick up the slack.

ma I don't think the snow will be that bad so don't worry. How are things are home with the Wankbadger?

baking where are you going for your hollipops? Have a great time.

Thanks so much to everyone who was thinking of me. I am Ok. Just feeling sore and angry and, well, you know.

Sweet are you OK matey?

Ma I feel really pleased with myself that my 2 most unhealthy and expensive habits have ceased to exist this year but I'm worrying about next week.

It's meant to be a holiday but we've got friends there and they all smoke and drink. I just don't feel like I have the will-power to last a week and I'll be really upset if it all goes tits-up. I think smoking bothers me more. With drinking I have to be able to drive on all the days and I don't think I'd risk a drink because of abstaining for so long and not knowing the affect etc. It'd ruin it for DS if we were trapped in the hotel all day because I'm hungover/ unable to drive.

Rothbury That really is so shit. I'm not surprised you're angry. I didn't know about the 90 day thing. It would effectively force most people in your position to resign. Unless the pay out was massive it wouldn't be worth it. It's really sly though. At least there's other job opportunities available to you now. That's a real silver lining. We're going to Wales for a week. I love going apart from the drive now DS doesn't sleep through it. We know the area well.

Morning all.
Lovely to see you mouse but so sorry things are tough for you right now.
Rothbury
I didn't know about the 90 day rule either. That's a bit of a weird one. I'm glad after all the uncertainty you've been offered a new job, three of them! Well done. Onwards and upwards!
bakingcupcakes
I've discovered a new non AF drink that's absolutely delicious. It's J2O Apple and Watermelon. It's bloody gorgeous. And if you put it in a wine glass it looks like Rose wine. It's how I got through a wake last week. People left me alone as they thought I was drinking

Day 82 AF dawns cold but sunny here.

rothbury resigning from a post would affect benefits I think if you needed to claim JSA but it sounds as if you have other options. Fingers crossed. It's snowing here now but not too heavily. WB has said he will go out later and fuel up the car so I would need to give him my credit card and pin....seriously??? (we have no cash left until pay day so need to use the dreaded cc which I try and avoid). I NEED to give MY credit card to someone with a gambling problem who secretly ran up £6K of debt? Let me think about that one for a minute......

oh and happy St Patrick's day to you all.....may your blessings be many and your troubles be few.

Hello everyone, hope you're well on another wintry day?

Will post in more detail tomorrow but doing well - two social events in two days - diet coke only - just so good to get up with a clear head and not feeling mildly depressed as I often do.

Thinking of you all - Happy St Pat's Day!

That J2O drink sounds lovely - must try that.

Hey everyone RedTasselBoots excellent well done at handling those events.

I'm an idiot, had a big night recently and like a fool over did it which is not like me these days, I've felt sick ever since and also have a cold. Still I felt so poorly it has taught me a lesson.

Rothbury great you've had offers but still crap. Would you be on paid garden leave for 90 days (I was a few years ago) or unpaid?

Freezing here today. Keep safe and warm everyone.

Mint I'll have to give the J20 drink a whirl. I've looked at them before but for some reason I resent spending money on soft drinks. I never had this issue when buying branded gin and lager!

Ma Sounds like WB thinks you were born yesterday. I'm assuming you said no!

Well done RedT! Social events are always hard for me.

Lux At least you've been reminded why you don't partake much anymore. I'm really scared of having any alcohol now in case I lose control completely.

Baking - good luck with the holiday.

I totally understand the worry about social events.

I've got a night out on Wednesday. The temptation to get stupid drunk like I did at the last event drink is going to be tough.

Evening all 😀Hope we're all having calm and soberish nights..
I'm reading most days continuing to get inspiration from you lot.
I'm doing well. Small slip yesterday few glasses of wine but stopped after two so progress indeed.

redtassellbootss well done on the af nights out ! I doubt I could do that. Need to practice.

buttonz good look with your Wed eve out, it prob helps if there is another non drinker with you but when does that ever happen

luxurywoman we've all done it. The last big night out I went on I ended up falling asleep the shame !!. I made the error of wine, would have been ok if I'd stuck to larger. Next big night out in April and I darent touch wine as no off switch at all with it.

ma your hubby must be deluded to think you would let him any where near your cc !..
hope all the babes are ok x

bakingcupcakes
They are the big bottles £1.50 each at Asda. RedTasselBootsI'm now totally addicted to them!

baking good luck with the trip. I really relate I have a visit with friends I don't see often coming up it's going to be a really challenging one to not drink. We drank together. No one doesn't drink unless pregnant.

I read your post before going to sleep last night and dreamt about the visit and me caving and drinking and being so upset and weirdly telling you about it- hope you aren't too creeped out by me dreaming about you!!

Anyway it was quite useful as it's just confirmed how important it is to me to stay af so I'm going to make a plan. What to say to People etc. Good luck for you? Are you there now?

Say No, it doesn't freak me out! We go next Sunday for a week. I dreamt I was there the other night smoking roll ups with everyone else. It was bizarre. I've not dreamt about smoking at all on this quit attempt but in my dream I was rolling and smoking them with DS on my knee which I've never, ever done.

Mint I don't think they're the J20 ones I've looked at then maybe they weren't even J20 I'll have a proper look next time I go.

NewStart That's great that you managed to stop at 2 glasses. I'd really like to be able to moderate.

Buttonz Good luck with Wednesday. Are you going to try and moderate or abstain?

We have a little bit of snow but not much. It's cold though. I took DS to soft play and then for McDonald's just me&him this afternoon. It was really nice. I've started the outlining on my cross stitch tonight so it's all coming together. I'm pleased with it. Day 76 AF for me today. Hope everyone else is good.

OK, I am back on the bus. I need to get my shit together as the next few months are going to be tough. I need to get a new job (applied for one online yesterday but I suspect most of what I wrote was drivel) and get my house ready for sale.

The jobs I have been offered verbally are all in another area. One in particular is very appealing so that is a great back up to have but I love where I live and would prefer to stay in this area if I can.

So - it snowed a lot yesterday and I woke up to loads of snow all settled this morning which is quite exciting. I have enough bread and milk and the boiler is working so all is well.

I can't drink fruit juice, it upsets my stomach and yet wine doesn't? so I tend to stick to diet fizz if I am out.

buttonz and saywhen when I was last out with my drinking crew, one of our gang mentioned rather tentatively that she is thinking of giving up drinking (she is pre-diabetic) and I immediately said that so was I. No matter how unlikely you think it is, there is a possibility that if you say you are not drinking, you're fed up with it, health reasons etc, someone else will be overwhelmed with relief and support you. Good luck anyway.

ma Gosh no, he can't have your card/PIN. what a knobhead. Are you any closer to offloading him?

Morning all babes and to rothbury .

I am just back from skiing as of last night - have been reading whilst away but as I was very much in the sidecar I didn't post.

rothbury very sorry to hear about your job situation - you sound like an amazing lady though so I am sure you will not be without offers and choices.

I shall be back fully on the bus from tomorrow for an indefinite period as pre-planned. I don't have another holiday now until 1September and I want to focus 100% on weight and health (my weigh day is Friday so will be starting a new WW journal later this week). The husband is also joining me so we are both all set.

Had a great time skiing overall, but it snowed every day apart from Wednesday, which if you have been skiing, meant the dreaded flat light. It was tough going and we weren't able to progress to more difficult slopes as it was v hard to see (I need some better goggles).

Still had a really good time and booze wise, only had two planned proper nights out with our instructor (hot, fit 27 year old) on Wednesday and Friday. The rest of the week I had a couple of small beers at lunch and a couple of bottles of Heineken in the evening, and then went to bed with tea @ 9pm.

Need to sort out my Dry Jan app - first task will be to get myself back onto an even number of dry days for 2018 and then go from there.

Love to all. xxx

I am SICK to death of this fucking SNOW!!!!
Due to travel to London tomorrow for a conference and a much needed overnight stay. Trains better not be cancelled.

Welcome back glad you had a good time ski-ing . I also need to lose weight but tend to do that automatically when I stop drinking.

Will need to be slimmer to feel confident at job interviews.

Ma Fingers crossed you get to London tomorrow. I have to go into work early to tell my administrator what has happened (she was on holiday this week, is in her seventies and will be dreadfully upset)

Sunday greetings from the frozen north!
Hope everyone's well.
I'm so buoyed up by reading all your posts.
I'm feeling quite challenged by all the opportunities in my path to say yes to a drink.
Thursday, met friend for lunch - good news is, she like me, has a few issues too - not a binger but a "couple of glasses a night" girl to counter work related stress. However, we went to the bar and she said are we on the wine or what? I held my nerve and said, oh just a coke for me today, she said I'm glad you said that, I don't want alcohol either. All good.
Friday, visited my parents - Dad offered me a glass of wine, I said no, let me put the kettle on for me and Mum.
Very bad weather here has meant I'm confined to the house this weekend but DH and I agreeing just to have nice coffees. Found some fruity teas in a cupboard so they will help.
I'm no saint though. This is HARD.
We have a social event next weekend - drinks and nibbles at friends' house - MAY have to slip into the sidecar temporarily.
You've given me loads to think about - not sure if I want to be totally AF long term.
But above all, don't want any more horrific binges like the last two.
A lot of thought needed.
Sending warm thoughts to you all. Thanks for the support.

Hello,

Rothbury, that is crap about the redundancy masquerading as resignation. Are you sure it isn't some sort of ruse to get out of paying you any statutory (or better) redundancy payment you might be due?

Ma hope the snow clears sufficiently for you to be able to get away as planned.

Tassel You are doing amazingly well

Lovely to see the legendary mouse too - sorry to hear about your health problems.

I am happy that I am still AF (since 1st of Jan) as is DH. It was our wedding anniversary this weekend. We went out for a curry then watched 'The Revenant' on TV, which was bleak and relentless, but interesting I suppose. I do find celebrating without booze very wierd still, as does he. And I miss the way we used to chat when drinking. We still talk, but it's not the same. I hope it will be possible to build a relationship with a less alcohol -based foundation. Time will tell.

After my mini counselling session with Rothbury on here and couple of weeks ago, I had a taster session with a counsellor and arranged to start sessions with her this week, because she was away, but she just cancelled on me . So I guess I need to find someone else. Or just carry on muddling through like I always do.

Hi to everyone I haven't mentioned and to any lurkers.

Morning all babes and .

flowers - great to hear your update and that you are still AF. Fabulous. I am sure it will be possible to build a new type of conversation but in the grand scheme of things, it is still v early days. It will come in time. Great that your husband is also with you - that helps massively.

I have had the worst night's sleep. I came on at 4.30am and spent the previous 7 hours or so tossing and turning, boiling hot, dehydrated etc. I have just cleared out two recycling bags full of beer bottles and pizza boxes from the last 2 days since we got back. I don't want to see them as I'm clearing out the decks today and getting back into being healthy.

Updated my DJ app - I've had 46 drinking days this year. I know that sounds awful but I have been on holiday for 30 days in total. First task will be to get to 46 dry days to even it out. Today is day 34.

I am not looking forward to today - the agency I'm working with are still dicking me and another lady around with our contracts. I am going to have to speak to the director this morning and see if I can sort it out. They've behaved very unprofessionally towards us, which isn't helping. Equally I hadn't really planned to be out of contract as of next Thursday, so I fear I'm going to have to sign today even if I don't really like the terms. We shall see...I do have the option to give notice later on so all is not lost.

Anyway, am waffling. Good luck today all - I am glad to drawing a line and restarting. One day very much at a time for me.

xxx

Just wanted to drop in and say, sorry I've not been around. Still here, still AF, it's just been hectic at work - role on Easter.