Brave Babes (Hygge) Battle Bus: Snowed in and Drinking Hot Chocolate instead of wine

[SweetLathyrus]

Hi, I'm SweetLathyrus, Sweet for short, and I've been on and off Gerald the Brave Babes Battle Bus since 2014. Over the years, lots of us have maintained the thread, most of all the lovely Mouse, who has been here since the early days, and still scurries onboard when she can.

The bus is a place of support, safety and occasional silliness for those of us struggling with our relationship with alcohol. Some of us are sober, some are trying to be, some are moderating and aren't ready to give up alcohol just yet.

So whatever your reason for questioning the whys and WTFs of your drinking, hop on board, make yourselves comfortable and join in. Driers and Triers, all welcome.

2018 has been a busy year so far, lots of new travellers as well as old faces; if you want to read back on the journey through Dry or Dryer Jan and Feb so far, here's the link to the last thread

And in case you want to know how it all started, here is the link to JWN's original, inspiring thread

We've donned the snow chains, topped up the antifreeze, and turned the heaters up to loud, so even though it's cold outside, our welcome is always warm, so hop on and join us.

Another day down. Drank over the weekend, though.

made it to london. two glasses of wine and tucked up in bed

Yay ma, you escaped. And two glasses of wine is admirably moderate. Nice to hear you’re ok Sweet, and hi Buttonz and Twattage. How’s it going Tassels?

Not a great deal to report here. Day 78 I believe. I’m still taking things one day at a time. Thinking about not drinking forever does not make me happy, but thinking about carrying on the way I was, i.e., pissed every day and not living my life fills me with despair. Hopefully I can start to think more positively, but I have a tendency to be an Eyeore.

The important thing for me is not to project.

78 days is amazing flowers. I wish I'd kept going after dry January.
got home to DH in a mood, re-cycling not done, place like a tip.
I need to grow a pair and get a new life.

Hi Ma, good on you for stopping after two glasses - I cannot moderate.

Another AF day today... didn't have cravings, but I think that is because I am going out tomorrow and plan to drink...

I really am self destructive.

Twattage Hope you managed to get your contract sorted and have a better nights sleep tonight.

Flowers Well done on getting to day 78. I think we're at the same level. I'm at day 78 I think. My first dry day was 1st Jan. I really want to get to 100 days now. No idea why. Think it's because I'm so close. My original plan was to do DJ and then moderate but I think I'd be safer dry.

Ma Glad you got to London and back ok. I think if you're not happy with something you need to try and change it. I know that's easier said than done though.

I'm anxious tonight. I'm not really sure why. I've been like this all day. I've checked and checked stuff at work but it's still there humming away in background. I'm going to bed soon. Hope everyone else is good.

Hey lovely Babes.

Well, my fibromyalgia has officially taken control of my entire body as I've been asleep for over 24 hours now and woken up feeling like deep fried vomit.

I'm so sorry for not being around to support anyone or give advice on how I got my own drinking under control, as I know not all of the Babes want to stop 100%. The thing is that you have to go dry for a decent period of time before you can test yourself again.

I'm hoping that most of you will know what I mean by that.

It took a few failed attempts for me, but being in hospital for three weeks with pneumonia can certainly help. In years gone by, I'd sneak vodka in via visitors and add it to Diet Coke because the hospital weren't taking blood from me. That's how desperate I was.

Anyway, I'm guessing you're all fast asleep and rightly so at this hour!

I'll try to post more now I know that this is "it" as they say. I can't get any more help as it's such a complex disease and as some of you will know, I have other problems with my health too.

Much love to you all,

Mouse xxx

PS - Sweet

THANK YOU SO VERY MUCH FOR KEEPING THE BUS RUNNING

If I'm around near the end of this one, would you or anyone else mind if I started the new one? Just for old times sake? I don't want to step on your gorgeous little toes sweetie

Mouse xxx

Morning all - hello mouse and baking.

Well I finally got the bloody contract sorted out last night but it has been immensely stressful for the last 48 hours and I have been in the sidecar. Also I have my period and I am feeling like shit as it's going the way of the other peri-menopausal ones and I'm now flooding again (day 3).

I am going to restart again on Gerald on Friday in line with my new WW journal as that will give me a refocus. I haven't got the headspace until then as need to go into the office today.

So I stood my ground and I refused to sign the contract for the duration. It was not without someone phoning on Monday night and spending 20 minutes trying to bully me into signing on the grounds it would be 'so much easier all round if I just signed it and took it on good faith that all would be fine'.

The shorter doc came through last night so I am now working until end of June and I'll go from there. It is vv tempting to leave it there, take a couple of months off over summer, and find something else in September. I am disgusted with how I've been treated TBH - highly unprofessional.

Anyway mouse I agree with your comments on getting a chunk of sober time under belt. I am about to do the same. Really looking forward to getting my sober sleep back!

Also the sun is out and the clocks go back this weekend - time to wake up and refresh...

Love to all babes and roth hope you're ok. xxx

Twat, well done on standing your ground, sounds like you’ve been well and truly messed around, great plan to see the clocks going forward as a new start.

Mouse, so lovely to see you but so sad to hear about your ongoing health issues, can you see a light at the end of the tunnel? Are you getting all the support you need and deserve? Sending you .

Ma, you’re right, you do deserve a new life away from the “D”H. I’m pretty sure it’s not as easy as kicking him out and changing the locks, but many of the babes have been where you are now and I know they can help you make a plan.

I need your support babes. I’m coming back to the UK tomorrow for the first time since I gave up drinking. In fact, my last trip there last July was one of the reasons I finally gave up, it was a drunken shit show. I’m coming back for my aunt’s funeral and will be staying in the West Country with my family for two nights - this whole thing is a massive drinking trigger for me. I loved my aunt and am devastated by her death, as is everyone else. And the way my family traditionally deals with that kind of emotion is to drink. In vast quantities.

I haven’t seen most people who’ll be there since I gave up, so they will definitely be expecting me to drink.

I know I can stay AF but I feel more trepidation than I’ve felt on my sober journey up to now. This feels like a big challenge and I am tired and sad, both big triggers for me. And the UK in itself is a massive trigger - it’s where I learnt to drink to excess and where I practiced that skill for many years.

Anyway, now I’m rambling but I hope some of that makes sense. Spanna, I remember you handled your friend’s funeral magnificently recently - any words of wisdom?

Have a great day all babes, thinking of you Buttonz, Roth, Baking, Flowers, Sweet, Elba, Venus, Lux, and all the other babes fighting the good fight.

Margie I completely get the UK being a trigger for you. I feel very much the same about my holiday next week. The place we're going is somewhere I lived for years and I learned to do lots of things excessively there. Although I love the place I'm really quite fearful of going and losing control. I know it's worse in your situation as you're coming for something upsetting aswell. Will you have the support in not drinking from the family you're travelling with or does everyone do it? All I can suggest is trying to keep positive and post on here if you're struggling. You've come so far sober, maybe it won't be as bad as you're expecting.

Mouse Fibromyalgia is awful. My friend has an awful time with it. I hope it improves soon. Don't worry about not giving advice. I like reading along any entries. It doesn't matter to me if posters don't advise or name check. I'm aiming for that 'decent period of time' before drinking again I just have no idea how long it should be!

Twattage I think you've done the right thing with the contract. It sounds like they're messing you about.

Hello lovely Babes.

It seems that some of you are struggling with the thought of not drinking whilst those around you do.

I can honestly say that if you stay out of a round as such, that's your starting point. You decide what YOU'RE going to drink that way. Make any excuse you want for not being part of the round.... you're on antibiotics, huge meeting at work etc so you'd rather get your own drinks so you're not too pissed the next day. You get the idea!

If you're drinking soda and lime, 9/10 people will think that it's got gin or vodka in it. You'll be amazed at how much slower you drink non alcoholic drinks too!

Sure, get a round in if you really want to, but otherwise just stick to buying your own drinks. And if someone insists that they buy you a drink, get a soft drink and say you're taking it easy!

I've come back from the brink of hell and back again over the last ten years, and if I can do it, so can you with this gorgeous group of supportive Babes!

Love you all lots,

Insomniac Mouse xxx

Hi Mouse - what a lovely, cosy photo!

I went out last night. Got very drunk 😵

Cross with myself and had awful hangover, but I have gone to bed, sober, tonight.

Buttonz Well done for not having any tonight to make you feel better. That's probably what I would have done to 'help' the hangover.

Mouse Love the pic. Some good ideas too.

I'm ok today. I have been AF for 80 days which is amazing considering I was drinking daily by the end of 2017.

I've tried the Morrison's summer punch mocktail tonight. It's odd. I won't buy it again. The mojito mocktails are far superior.

Thanks Baking - yes, I would normally succumb to the hair of the dog.

Baking - 80 days is outstanding!

Hello babes.

I seems to have slipped back into having wine most nights. Not masses but still too much. I feel really down about it today.

I have a hen do this weekend. We are meeting for 2 nights at a holiday home I own. I don't want to drink too much as I need to be able to keep the rabble calm and reasonably quiet and I just don't want to have a hangover. I want to laugh, play games, catch up with old friends. Not be necking so much alcohol that I can't remember anything the next day.

My plan is to be drinking gin and tonic not wine. I do this when hosting at home and want to remain sober. I have one or two with a little gin in. As the evening progresses I drink only tonic. Hopefully this plan will work.

Hope you all have a lovely AF weekend. I will report back on Monday.

Morning all - well my crazy week concluded with a planned trip to the pub last night with my friend. I am now going AF for the forseeable future and I feel good about that.

Finally got on the scales this morning - haven't weighed myself for 6 months or so and I'm half a stone up, however I ate an enormous pizza at 11pm last night and I've been on holiday and not run, so will give it a week to work its way through and see how I am next Friday.

I've drunk a ridiculous amount of beer this week - I feel disgusting and my sleep has been terrible, so really want to focus on healthy habits. I am out to lunch with one of my suppliers today, we're meeting in a pub but I will be on the fizzy water with a slice of lime :).

Love to all. Will probably be checking in morning and evening from now on, to keep myself accountable. xxx

baking congratulations on the 80 days. Good luck for the weekend.

margie good luck with your trip to the UK is it soon?

twattage go you on your contract.

Still af but it's been a hard week. I've run which hasn't helped. I've eaten chocolate which is great in the moment. I've not thought to much about wine but I've had more moments than I have for a long time.

Day 150 af soon so that's keeping me focused. Wish my actual life would pick up nothing huge wrong but everything is a slog. Money is so tight. Keep on going I guess.

Hello mouse I'm sorry to hear about your fibromyalgia. I don't know too much about that - will the pain improve at all?

Gosh it's quiet on here - just checking in to say am in bed with PJs so finally completing an AF day...am absolutely shattered so will be having a v quiet weekend at the coast. xxx

Twattage That sounds like a nice weekend and hooray for an AF day! It's very quiet on here of late. I don't like it!

Say I wish my life would pick up too. Same as you in that nothing's wrong with it as such but it's just a bit of a slog. I wish the weather would perk up. I'm sick of wearing winter clothes and going to the same soft play place.

Blue I think the n&t plan is a good one. I hope you enjoy yourself.

I'm anxious again. I've started packing today. We go Sunday. I'm worrying about the car breaking down, running into someone I don't want to see when we get there, drinking, smoking, that no one will like me if I say I'm not doing either, that DS won't enjoy himself etc. I know most of these worries are stupid. I wish we were going tomorrow in a way. Once I get there I'll be ok.

Anyway where is everyone? Are you all ok? I hope you're not all in the side car.

Hello ALL Babes!!

I'm really ill with some sort of puking

Morning - mouse that sounds v v tough. Hope you are feeling a bit better this morning.

baking - good luck for the trip. If it helps, on Weds I told everyone in our team at work that I'm going teetotal for a while as I'm on a health kick - no-one batted an eyelid. Someone else is organising a work night out and I said 'well that's shit as I'm off the booze right now, so I either won't come or I'll be on the fizzy water'. I suppose I've got used to being quite brazen about it now after nearly 5 years - seriously, no-one will care (and if they do, they have a problem that you are showing up).

I've finally marked a dry day on my app - day 35 this morning. First thing is to get the balance back to even days of dry and sidecar...some way to go! I will report back when I've done it!

Right I'm off to the farm shop and the fish shop on the quay, as the parentals are coming for lunch today. xxx

Awake and enjoying a cup of coffee in the morning sunshine. It's always a lovely feeling to wake up at the weekend without a hangover. And even better, there's another opportunity to do the same tomorrow.

Lovely to see you again mouse but not so good about your fibromyalgia. Hope at least your puking has stopped.

Morning venus - totally agree. So happy to be waking up without any form of post-beer fuzziness.

Unfortunately I won't be cooking lunch for my parentals. About 5 mins after I posted my mummy called to say they are in A&E again as my daddy has more nose bleeds (he keeps having them since he had stents put in and they have him on some blood thinner, not warfarin, something else). He is fine but needs to be checked.

Am still going to cook lunch and will hopefully see them later. So glad I have a clear head today. xxx