Dating thread 130: dates with more issues than Vogue - mad March hares every one of 'em

[BeenThereDating]

Dating thread rules:

1. The first rule about the dating thread is you don't talk about it with people you're dating.
2. Develop a thick skin.
3. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
4. It's all BS until it actually happens.
5. Trust your gut instinct.
6. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
7. You are the prize - they should be trying to impress you.
8. If it's not fun, stop.
9. Loo update is mandatory.

10. No dating the thread

Why 'next'?

He has a hobby out in the open air. He travels.

I know it's a cliché that men have lots of photos holding dead fish, but - generally we don't get as many opportunities for photos of ourselves as women do. When out in a social group, I've never once heard a man say 'hang on guys, let's get some photos of us as a group'

It tends to be only on celebratory events - like catching a big fish.

If I were to say 'next' to every woman who had a photo of them on a horse or holding a tray of cupcakes, I'd never speak to anyone at all..

Personally, I'd ask where in France, and why there.

God I can't believe any self-respecting woman would post a photo of themselves holding a tray of cupcakes... I love a spot of baking and a bit of crafting but I'd never engineer a photo that includes me and the output. For family yes, if there's context, but for a dating site? No.

pudding thats shit, ive said before i think alot of OLD for men is just an ego boost, and they have no intention of following through.

id do the same and ignore when he replies. boy bye calling FWB sounds like a much more enjoyable plan anyway!

i cancelled MrF coming over today. im shattered, i need a Me day. face mask, hair mask, lots of food etc. plus my flat isnt the tidiest

Jesus sky what a lucky lucky escape for you. What an absolute arsehole.
Also what is it about wanting to unleash all their "things" the first time dtd? The guy I met this year slapped and pinched me so hard I yelped the first time we dtd. It's just not my thing. He bruised me where he pinched me. It was horrible.
Happy Mothers Day to all us mums out there!

Yep, pictures of them holding trays of cupcakes. Photos of horses, sometimes with them riding it, sometimes not. Photos of them on their wedding day, walking down the aisle with their new husband, photos of them in a hospital bed holding their newborn baby..

Some profiles just have several pictures of their kids - not the woman at all.

It's dire out there

But no-one looks good after giving birth... and the best makeup in the world can't dress up a hospital bed! I'm trying to imagine the mindset. I wonder if it's trying to attract a man because you want to be seen as a Mother Earth type? I think there's a whole PhD paper to write on the psychology of dating photos.

Smeaton what do you mean by “beautify setting”?

Bant I see some pretty awful photos, I find it quite funny. I looked at one profile yesterday and each photo had his wife in it (blurred out face or cropped), profile read ‘recently single’, obviously he has no photos of himself on his own so thought it would be fine if he blurred out her face. Photos with kids in them put me off straight away, I guess some people like it but not me. Men holding fish just seems weird and I hate Snapchat filters.

Just found a new profile, a topless shot of a man with his trousers half down and his boxer shots showing ,I couldn’t stop myself from sending him a message suggesting he buys some trousers that fit. Really some of the profiles are just crazy, how can these people beleive they are going to attract anyone?

Bant I have no issue whatsoever with hobbies, fishing or France - just don't find dead fish appealing nor the person holding one up proudly.

I’m sure most of the fish I see are not dead, still don’t find it that interesting and I wouldn’t want to date someone who spends all weekend fishing, I also avoid men who play golf (another hobby that takes up most of the weekend).

So, I thought I was going to be seeing Mr Tinder this morning, last night he hinted about MB, asked if I wanted to come over in the morning. I message him this morning and no reply until 1pm, I have ignored the reply.

Feeling a bit sad as I’m lacking in irons at the moment.

Although I would be drawn to a man on horseback

Hello, can I join in?

I joined tinder a few weeks ago, messaged a few irons but only one really stood out so we met a couple of weeks ago. Well, we had the most amazing first date!! We live in different cities but he often comes to mine for work, and me to his. Second date went equally well, talked about how to make this work etc. Anyway, cut a long story short I’m totally smitten, and him with me, or so I thought. However, doing a bit of SM stalking I may have uncovered that he has a girlfriend, probably 90% sure I’m correct. Gutted and livid is putting it mildly. I’m not sure what to do next, block him or wait until I next see him (week after next) and have it out with him face to face?

To add to that, they don’t live together, in fact she’s just moved to a different country for work. On our dates we’ve not dwelled on ex partners etc, we’ve talked about his divorce, but not anything since.

can you text him and ask surfer? id probably do that and then block him. i
wouldnt even ask, id say “you have a girlfriend”

no point wasting your time on him!

Smeaton oh, you mean the one that basically blurs out EVERYTHING I’m quite partial, though I agree it can make men look a bit like they should be in a Pierre et Gilles photo. I wouldn’t use one in harsh daylight/flash that shows every wrinkle and pore;
I think photos should be a balance between showing one’s best side and contravening Trades Descriptions. Still haven’t got a full length body shot up, but none of my dates have run away screaming when they see me yet.....

Here’s another lovely pass agg photo, must be my day for them

Jeez Cover - well, I supposed at least he posted something. In my experience, men rarely bother to write anything - so unless they are totally hot then I really can't be bothered to like them. If they can't be arsed, then neither can I.

Surf - I would just take a deep breath and block and delete. Really hard I know, but sometimes actions are far more powerful than words. Walk away with your head held high and stuff him. You are the prize... and better you know now that he is a cock.

I have had to postpone Mr Young'Un due to a unexpected domestic crisis (me, not him). He's calling me later and in the meantime, I await my daily message from Mr M as I am totally not over-invested.

Aaaaahhh that's where I have been going wrong - no cupcakes, no horse shots , no hospital bed shots, no pouts , so Snapchat fawns and no fish .

Oh that was just one of his profile pics, Tinder not a message.

I’ve actually replied to someone on POF today; they’ve not got a photo, messaged and asked what had put me off messaging them as I’d looked at their profile (I’d done a search). Erm, the lack of photo put me off..... plus I very rarely message first. I’ll let you all know if I actually get to see a photo, though I doubt I will.

Having a chat with a guy on Match; Mr Slight. Think I’d squash him if we ever got jiggy. Which is unlikely.

I'm looking for a serious relationship can anyone advise what paid site is better match or eharmony?
Not interested in POF or tinder.

So at 1:28 pm, Mr Mysterious contacted me on whatsapp saying "Pud, you there?" then a text message 1 minute later asking where I am.

I went through my messages again, all we had said was I would go to his town (which he knows I have never been to before), that he said he would cook me dinner and asked if I had GPS. I messaged him (albleit early) to ask for his address and he didn't reply.

So I repleid to him to say I was confirming if he was still on for today and asked for his address and when he didn't confirm I assumed he had changed his mind, hence the lack of contact. I think he must have assumed I had driven to his town, and he was waiting for me to call to say I was there and then he would give me directions. Maybe the language didn't help, but I think unless he comes to me, I won't be making anymore plans.

My dad was ribbing me, saying he was probably so busy cooking up pigs ears and trotters (local cuisine) and making his house look nice, he didn't see the messages.

I haven't been unreasonable have I? I mean I whats app'ed and called, and sent a text. His phone could have died of course, but again since I sent the message this afternoon he didn't reply anything!

Grrrrrr. People!

Hey
Had a tough day. On the OLD front, I told FWB what I thought of his actions (the 'I miss you' crap and then being vague/evasive) and he accepted he'd been a bit careless with my feelings. I've deleted his number. I guess normally I wouldn't have bothered having that conversation but he's so up front and emotionally intelligent usually it felt ok to do and im glad I did.

So now proper cold turkey... I'm going to try and replace my WhatsApp addiction with arty stuff and reading... and probably a lot of early nights?!