Dating thread 130: dates with more issues than Vogue - mad March hares every one of 'em

[BeenThereDating]

Dating thread rules:

1. The first rule about the dating thread is you don't talk about it with people you're dating.
2. Develop a thick skin.
3. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
4. It's all BS until it actually happens.
5. Trust your gut instinct.
6. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
7. You are the prize - they should be trying to impress you.
8. If it's not fun, stop.
9. Loo update is mandatory.

10. No dating the thread

Sky Drink takes away inhibitions and can give you an insight into what someone is really like. You should listen to what he says.

Shit.. horrifically drunk enough by 8pm to send messages telling you to fuck off, that you're not good enough for him and he could do better...

That's not a couple of red flags, he is owner of his own red flag factory, he is mayor of Redflagstaff, Arizona. He is flag-bearer-in-chief of Redflagistan.

Run away.

(Sorry. Happy birthday sky and happy Mother's Day to all of you)

Skyrabbit that's awful! There would be no coming back from that for me. Being drunk doesn't turn everyone into a nasty twat so it's the old truism - when someone tells you who they are, listen to them. This is him and he's a dick. He'll try to sweet talk you around, say of course he didn't really mean it, it was the drink talking - bollocks but even if it were true who would want to be with someone who turns nasty when they drink (or who gets so drunk they 'don't know what they're saying'). Whatever way you dress it up it ain't good.

Sky how bloody rude. I would be seriously unimpressed by those messages and would probably tell him to get fucked and not contact him again. If someone tells you who they are, listen. Who wants to be with someone who turns into a total twat when they're drunk?

Oh, and Happy Birthday! Best gift you can give yourself now is to delete and block him.

Thanks everyone, you're all right. Even If he was horrifically drunk, there's no excuse is there? If I had been there and he'd been that drunk (at 8pm!) would he have said equally awful things to my face?? At some level, the texts say what he actually thinks.

Bant - RedFlagistan made me laugh!

The irony is that he's a well respected therapist. Physician heal thyself springs to mind!

Morning all. I have returned from my OLD mini break with a tale to tell. Apologies first, I haven't read the thread yet, so I hope everyone is ok.

I was last seen with one luke warm iron (Mr LW) and the ex from last year had gone very public about his new girlfriend and later went on to make it obvious he had met her before dumping me. I had a little meltdown, sobbed my way through boxes of tissues and did something that, whoops, burnt all bridges with that relationship (a whole other story).

I was ready to drag myself to a Meetup when the snow arrived so I plodded to a friends house with wine, we re-loaded my dating apps and set about finding me a distraction. Breaking all the messaging rules we sent a simple "good evening" to anyone who looked half decent. And it worked.

Mr Eyes - within 24hours I persuaded him to swap phone numbers and meet for coffee. No immediate spark but I like him so we're having lunch today.
Mr Dog - bit older than I usually go for but he's funny and flirty, lots of banter. We were supposed to have dinner last night but he cancelled because of a family emergency. It sounds genuine but who knows

So rather than face a Sat eve alone I messaged Mr Hat. We had arranged a date for next weekend but I thought I'd ask if he was free. We met for a drink, decided to have dinner then went on to a club and danced all night. Brilliant spontaneous date. And he's asked to see me again.

Finally Mr LW. We were supposed to have coffee yesterday but I cancelled as I just wasn't feeling it. We ended up having a long chat about life and relationships and agreed to meet in a few weeks as friends.

All of these came from Match. So for me, my subscription has been well worth the money.
Time to get coffee and read what the rest of you have been up to

Sky - bin bin bin - nasty load of texts - twat

Sky Happy Birthday .
As everyone else has said, those texts are nasty and show what he's really like. Don't respond. Just delete and block. Then do something nice for yourself today.

coverme just saw your message about Ru Paul.....and becoming a gay man ;) Haha!

Pog hope you are ok today, sending virtual hugs.

Esk1mo/change & tinderella I think he is a very nice guy, he is obviously a bit of a commitment phobe and admitted that all his relationships he tends to duck out of after 2 years. He told me he still loved his ex but he ended because she wanted the whole marriage and kids etc. I think he is a bit scarred and scared TBH. I might try one more date, but if its going to take so long to have that connection i daon't know if its just a bit of a waste of time. I don't want a serious relationship, but he leaves in may and doesn't know if he is returning. i don't know. He doesn't flirt, to whoever asked., i think at this stage I need some passion or signals. I want o be felt to be desired. You know what I mean? He plays guitar and writes songs, maybe I need to hear him play, i always find men and musical instruments quite sexy!

Kin all sounds good! Back in the game ;)

skyrabbit reply to him that you don't date women haters (even if drunk) then block him. Bullet dogdged and happy birthday. Remember the saying: a drunk mans words are a sober mans thoughts...........Twat.

Runs you sound busy! Keep on keeping on and one day you never know!

I am a bit pissed off this morning. I went to my gym at opening time, no-one showed up to open the actual gym although receptionist was there. I waited half an hour and then had to leave. Then I have texted Mr Mysterious to find out his address and nothing. He lives over an hour away, i am meant to leave in 40 minutes and I still don't know where I am going. Grrrrrrrrrr.

Skyrabbit Happy Birthday and what everyone else said: that is one unpleasant man. I’d find it hard not to respond with a “enjoy all the blow jobs you won’t be getting from me” message, but I’d definitely block and delete ASAP. Definitely getting rid of him is a present in itself

Welcome back Runs, glad to hear things are picking up 👍🏻

Sky: 100% bin & ditch. You are worth SO MUCH MORE than the way he has treated you.

Block and delete.

Toodolooo mtherfckr (sorry for the swearing, entirely necessary in this case though 😉)

Happy birthday Sky. Run for the hills from that bloke!

Thanks everyone. I've decided to just not reply to him at all. He can wonder what the fuck he likes. The oddity is that in real life, he's very polite, charismatic and quite diffident.
Glad it happened now and not 6 months down the line - he was talking about booking a gig for us to go to in August.
I think I need to recalibrate my dickhead radar, it's clearly faulty!
If I'd read the red flags, I suppose they were there - only had MB once (lack of child care/him not driving) but he wanted to lick my arse 🙄 That did kinda put me off him a bit - on a first shag??

I'd say your dickhead radar is working fairly well - it's just that he didn't show the signs until now if he was polite and charismatic. It's only now that he shows himself for who he really is, and you can pick up those (fairly strong) signals and not accept behaviour like that.

So your radar worked, it's just that he wasn't transmitting signals until he got pissed and showed he was a twat.

The arse thing though.. that's a porn thing, stuff like that has apparently become the accepted 'standard' behaviour - even though it's really really not.

skyrabbit says much more about him than it does about you, he probably has serious issues and tried to force intimacy and then freaked out after drinking. Whatever, everything he said is horrible.

God such dickish behavior makes me want to duck out of dating and just live with loads of dogs.

The guy I am meant to be meeting hasn't replied, so I don't know his address so i won't be heading over. He said he was going to cook for me and everything. I won't make an effort again, thing is I put aside the day for him and could have been meeting someone else or a friend or whatever. Grrrrrr.

sky he sounds very odd! cant believe he
is a ..therapist did you say? cleary has issues. imagine what he would be like down the line!

pudding sorry to hear that, hopefully he’s just busy in the kitchen! have you text him to see if its still on?

esk1mo yes, I texted and no reply. At 9am. So he had loads of time to reply, if he does now I am not going over. I am going to see my dad and eat more sushi instead. He is the only man I understand.

I just spoke to a male friend, he told me maybe saying I was happy to drive an hour has freaked him out and I am too available. I said to him how can it be ok for amen to send unsolicited cum shots, but as a woman if you drive an hour you are too desperate. I give up, this guy was the one i thought wouldn't be like that.

I am calling my old FWB later (maybe). Its been three months since I last had anything physical with anyone (him), I feel like I might have regrown my hymen. Pahahahah! His loss.

Sky licking you arse? Never been asked that - I think my answer would be yes then fart in his face before he got going - you are well rid and happy birthday 🎂 x

It might be worth calling him pudding. Blokes can be thick sometimes and he might have forgotten you didn't have his address. Of course if he doesn't pick up or reply then sod that. Hope he does get in touch asap.

I'm heading out to meet Mr French. Sounds lovely but I did a bit of digging online and his pictures are very old. . Bit worried I won't even recognise him.

Sorry cross posted pudding. Hope you have a nice time with your FWB if you decide to get in touch.

Oh god - been chatting to a man on Tinder - nice photo and reasonable messages - realised I'd only looked at his first photo so checked the other two - both of him holding very large dead fish - so I asked him what is it with fish - he answers 'I like fishing in France' next

Sky Happy Birthday! As for the rude drunk bastard all that alcohol does is show the real person. Imagine having a relationship where you're living in fear of him becoming drunk because I bet that rudeness just scratches at the surface of his full drunken repertoire.

Runs go you! Fab update to read.

Hello to all newbies and thread stalwarts!