Dating thread 130: dates with more issues than Vogue - mad March hares every one of 'em

[BeenThereDating]

Dating thread rules:

1. The first rule about the dating thread is you don't talk about it with people you're dating.
2. Develop a thick skin.
3. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
4. It's all BS until it actually happens.
5. Trust your gut instinct.
6. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
7. You are the prize - they should be trying to impress you.
8. If it's not fun, stop.
9. Loo update is mandatory.

10. No dating the thread

That's really helpful, thank you, Kinunir. I've read a few of your posts with interest. SO much of OLD seems totally unnatural.

I would reiterate what Kin has said. The talking to more than one person at a time still seems very unnatural to me but I think it seems to be the nature of the beast and it does get easier with practice.

I would continue to look through the site until you have at least met someone in person. You can get on great online but then when you meet up zero chemistry. Apart from first dates I haven't done the multi dating thing and this still sits uncomfortably with me. But I think you have to recognise that unless you have had the exclusivity chat the person you are dating may well be seeing other women.

ToeDippin you've not meet them yet so try hard not to get over-invested in any one iron. Even in 24hrs everything with OLD can change.
They disappear, go weird, turn out to be married or turn out to beer into some really weird kink........

At they moment all they are is words on a screen!!!!
And all written by themselves I'll add

(and thanks to whoever I stole that advice from, Bant I think )

Really useful advice, thanks verde and spring. I think I might find the multiple messaging thing a bit confusing and tiring at the moment so I'll see how it pans out with the current iron but take a step back. I'm really happy being single - hence I thought I was ready to date and have some fun.

I felt that at first about multiple messaging. Fact is probably only 10% every get into the realms of wanting to meet or actually meet. The rest are just keyboard fodder.

I haven't asked Mr Nothing Serious yet if he wants to meet tonight (I have Sunday night as an option too) as he went a bit quiet yesterday. I am slightly suspicious he might have a girlfriend, he said he was newly single, but he was full on messaging me (he was out the country and staying in a hotel for work), returned yesterday and he didn't message much. Maybe I am overthinking it, but my spidey senses are tingling..........

Just a fly by to say : WAHEY!

Match have let me transfer my subscription to Affinity (which I didn’t know existed until yesterday) but because I’m paid through iTunes I can keep the Match site going too. I probably won’t bother as it’s been sloooooow of late, but I’m really impressed by their customer service 👍🏻

Laters

Cover is Affinity linked to Elite Singles? I have been on Our Time for a month - wasn't impressed

No it’s Match, Val they have Our Time too; maybe see if you can move over if you’re subscription is still active?

I’m going to go back on POF at some point too, I think; still reckon the quantity/quality ratio whilst low is still higher than Match as the volume is so much greater.

Vet ha that made me laugh!

Ok so I was on holiday with patchy internet. He got back in touch the next day (yesterday) with some breezy chat. I just asked him what he wanted. So he asked me what I wanted. Then he just did not respond.

I queried his lack of response today and he apologised, said it's all too much as he's still doing funeral/probate/house clearance.

He's being a complete dick. I was all nice and moved on and hes just reeled me back in. However also think funeral/grief is a temporary license to be a bit selfish and all over the place...

I'm just gonna delete his number. If he gets in touch then fine but I'm done playing this game.

Yes Pog if he is messing with your head, remove him from it!! Good plan.

I have my tinder age set form 28-42 (I am 39, literally i never swiped on anyone over 40 so I lowered the upper age limit). Anyway a 27 year old popped up and OMFG! Lets call him Mr Parkour....he literally does parkour for a living, so you can only imagine how bouncy, flexible and f**king ripped he is. I swiped right as an ego swipe. We matched and been talking quite a bit...........He likes the english accent. Win win. Imagine! He could literally jump off the wardrobe.

I'm thinking of doing RL tindering tomorrow - I'm off to London to meet a girlfriend and I would normally have my nose in a book - this time I'm going to look around me if I don't like the face eyes down and if I do serious eye contact - perhaps it could work but I'll take my kindle - just in case

I got a 22 year old chasing me ( I'm old enough to be his Grandmother ) and a "Mr Grey " looking for a sub . Life is just great

Whereabouts Val? I'll hope on the tube and SuperLike your friend you

Bloody I had a 22 year old message me a few days ago, he looked older than 22 though, I was tempted .

So I have Sunday child free, feeling a bit sorry for myself as I won’t get anything for mother’s day and won’t get to spend the day with the kids as they are at their dads. I have 2 options, Mr Tinder who I have been talking to for bloody ages but have never met, I’m pretty sure he’s only FWB material but he may surprise me, or Mr Skinny who I met on an alternative site, we have been chatting for a few weeks, seems nice but would just be a one off I think (No strings). I’m thinking I need a bit of fun as it’s been a while.

POF isn’t offering me up much at the moment, not many new members in my area, same old faces so no new irons.

Kin my friend is happily married and I adore her hubby so would keep her out of trouble lol. What would a superlike be in RL? Could get arrested or sectioned. I'm off to London again for the next 2 Saturday's as well so lots of opportunities to practice RL life tindering.

Toe I would say that multi-messaging is less daunting than it may appear at first, mainly because I send most the same first message to avoid confusion! Plus you get a few drop outs - i.e. some reply, some don't - so that helps! As Pud says... The rest are just keyboard fodder (love that expression! Great way to deal with it!) And of course, what everyone tells you on here, and what I keep having to remember, is this..... repeat after me..... I am the prize... I am the prize.

And yes, I will have the conversation - thank you everyone... I tell myself I am not playing games at my age, but hell yes, I so am!

I send most the same first message Always helps though if you change the name ! It's great getting a message addressed to someone else

Hmm go Smeaton you dark horse, been keeping that one quiet :)
Anyway has she discovered your issues yet or does she think you are normal too?

Alright, alright Bloody... so change the name if you remember! Basically a cut and paste works..... I think the bigger danger is when I screen shot potential irons and then WA to mates saying... fuckable.... or not?. One day, I will end up sending a screenshot to an iron

er....I was only joking....

and then we wonder why chat with total strangers goes tits up

Chat with strangers is hard! I'm realising that the more people I talk with, the more I learn and the more I realise my boundaries and what I want.
I have a new iron . Mr French. Feels like we have a lot in common but I am determined to take stuff slowly and judge people on actions, not what I might fantasize he is. God this OLD stuff is hard. Glad I'm home tonight.

Good luck to all those on dates tonight!

Pog he's a twunt.

I think I have a live one, started talking on POF couple of days ago and now on WhatsApp. Meeting up on Wednesday for a dog walk/coffee. All good so far, he seems lovely, looks good and has an epic job (Prince William could have been his chauffeur when he used to work ). Probably he'll either not turn up or turn out to be married but for now he can be Mr Medic.

Still talking to Mr DiamondMine and one of the Tinder vanishers has reappeared - fortunately the one that I liked most. He was on a course all week apparently, he can be Mr Antarctic.