Dating thread 130: dates with more issues than Vogue - mad March hares every one of 'em

[BeenThereDating]

Dating thread rules:

1. The first rule about the dating thread is you don't talk about it with people you're dating.
2. Develop a thick skin.
3. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
4. It's all BS until it actually happens.
5. Trust your gut instinct.
6. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
7. You are the prize - they should be trying to impress you.
8. If it's not fun, stop.
9. Loo update is mandatory.

10. No dating the thread

loco I agree with others, shouts dodgy to me, probably attached.

On the subject of being stood up then popping back up again, I was reminded of something that happened to me a few years back. Tinder match, had 2 good dates, invited him for dinner and sleepover.
I had polished the house, shaved to within an inch of my life, cooked a meal delia would have been proud of, and even cleaned the oven
He didn’t turn up.
I waited
Messaged
Nothing.
A year or so later he did the whole “Hi how are you” WA message
I was WTAF!! out of curiosity I got into a brief conversation with him to see what the hell his reason was, because of course I’d half wondered if it was something I’d done. It wasn’t. He’d gone to the pub to watch football with mates and got pissed. Utter, giant twat of a man.
But usually, they do pop back up

lastnicknamefree a year later!! Nice he still thought of you, but yes complete knobber.

Just a quick update as I can barely see through my piss holes in the snow eyes after 3 nights of shit watch with the dog. vet took him to the vet, they xrayed him He nothing in his GI tract just lots of gas, so they are treating him as gastroenteritis. He is eating and drinking, just needing toileting every two hours or so, and still having a few accidents (at 3am I hasten to add). Poor thing, both he and I need sleep!

Anyway Mr Not looking for anything serious is a bit of a suprise. Looks like an angel and butter wouldn't melt but things got a bit heated last night. He was respectful and asked if he could send pictures (normally i would be nah, but I was bored and curious), but basically after I said "go on then" he sent me some cough videos. Lets just say my interest peaked, and he might have a lot of potential as a new FWB. .

Have hideous two day meeting to attend, but had to pop by and say that I had a really good 3rd date with Mr Wales.

He is lovely. Things got very hot & steamy but I managed not to go near his hotel. The hormones have completely taken charge but I won't see him until next week, so think I can regain sufficient control to know how I want to proceed from here.

Hello. Delurking to say I love this thread. It makes me feel I'm not alone in the grim world of OLD!

I've had 4 really lovely dates with Mr East End. Sex is great and we've had a lot of fun. This week though I'm not sure. He hasn't said anything but I'm sensing him pulling away. Texts are still chatty but he hasn't made any attempt to set up another date unlike previous weeks. I suggested something on Tuesday and he told me he was busy but 'another time'. I simply replied 'Hey no worries. Have a lovely day' and left it. I'm not overinvested but it would be nice to know where I stand, whether he's just after sex or losing interest or what. Should I just sit back and see if he contacts me?

Mr Douchebag No Show sent another message at 2am saying 'I panicked and was really silly about it. I hope you're well'.

I didn't think I needed to block him at the time given that he'd blocked me! I'm absolutely not going to reply, it was his loss and he obviously has actual ishoos. What kind of late 30s man 'panics' at the thought of going for a coffee at lunchtime. Freaking weirdo.

Pudding poor pup, sounds like he has picked up a bug of some sort if it's still going on. Did they take bloods? Is it still total diarrhoea he's passing? Maybe I should start a sideline in internet diagnostics on my breaks better get back to it now but feel free to message me if you're concerned about him (not that I don't think that your vet has a handle on it!)

oh alison sorry to hear that its a horrible feeling. i wouldnt text him, or make any first contact. from what ive read online, its better to give men space in this situation.

it can be tempting to reach out first and thats probably what he is expecting. show him you arent like the others. it also allows you to know yoh didnt chase or panic if he does indeed fade away. thats just my view, its perfectly reasonable for some people to text and clarify whats going on, but i think its better to flip the script and have him thinking “wait a minute - why isnt she texting me?!”

vet thanks! He had a few slightly more formed poos but still runny as. They didn't do bloods, but I have to go back today again for review.

Any late 30's man that "panics" doesn't fill you with confidence does it. Next!!

What kind of late 30s man 'panics' at the thought of going for a coffee at lunchtime.

One who has never had a girlfriend would be my suggestion. Not very appealing that.

Well Mr Last Year messaged me on pof. We are meeting tonight. Oh dear this probably won't end well but it feels like unfinished business with us...

Thanks esk1mo. It is a horrible feeling. What you've suggested is exactly what I'm doing. I'm forcing myself not to text him but will contact him next week if I haven't heard from him and just check in. I've found Matthew Hussey's stuff online very helpful here!

Good luck tonight changeoflife.

Margo Glad to hear that the third date with Mr Wales went well.

Alison Definitely agree with not texting him. I know it's difficult though.

Vet I agree with Kin. Hardly behaviour that's going to win you over.

changeoflife Good luck for tonight. At least you will know either way which is better than wondering what if.

Apologies to anyone I have missed.

I finally got to meet Mr SA last night and we had a really good evening. Easy to talk to, made me laugh and as good in the flesh as his profile pics. We even had a kiss goodbye which is unusual for me on a first date. Dinner already booked in for Friday night as we both happen to be child free with no plans.

Now to decide what to do about Mr Train.

alison i wish i took my own advice, i just text MrF after not hearing from him since he left monday morning, just to say he left some jewellery here

nothing nice or needy, just “you left X”. i will need to check out those videos on youtube!

Vet I'm kind of glad that Mr NoShow got back in contact (obviously not the time) as i get a crumb of comfort from the fact that it doesn't look like a nasty act which I was thinking - especially with the increasing number of no shows. Absolute cowardice though which I despise.

Yay for good dates!

margo glad date 3 went well, looking good so far with MrWales
And vista happy to read your first date was worth the wait!
Date 2 booked in already? I like this! No wondering if he liked you back or over analysis the date because you’re both clearly on the same page!

kin sleep well?

I did last, about 8 hours which is more than double what I normally need

Vet “probably not welcomed”???? God that boils my piss on your behalf. What a FUCKING UTTER FUCKING DICK. And he “panicked”??? Awww diddums. Are you blocking now?
I best block MrMr, even though it feels a bit mean. But what part of “its not going to work between us” didn’t he understand? And “really nice meeting you and good luck for the future” has a ring of finality, surely?

I really truly don’t understand the behaviour of many many people online. Some fucker build me a time machine; I hear the 18th Century calling....

I’m sorry I’m in a pissy mood chaps; will catch up properly tonight. And sorry to hear of the not so great stuff.

Peaceful I’d struggle with that, but as I’ve said before PinV is really important to me and it’s he different if I’d had that for a long while, established a relationship and then had to deal with it as a long term couple.
Good luck whatever you decide.

Peaceful I think this one may be simple to put right. You say he's insecure and his ability to maintain an erection is based on abuse from his ex. That would suggest a psychological issue rather than a physical one. I bet if you could persuade him to take the blue pills for a short while they would help him rebuild his sexual confidence in a very short period of time.

kin That’s what I would like, I think if I could persuade him it would be fixable over time. And I have time, and everything else physical we’ve done he is amazing at. It just has such an affect in him when it happens that he doesn’t even want to try 🙄!

peaceful it sounds almost like he is pushing you away to see if you leave. if you feel strongly about him, i would tell him you arent going anywhere, leave sex out of the equation for a while. let him see that you arent like his ex, and slowly things might get better. only if you want to though.

MrF replied 4 minutes after i text him, offering to come over tomorrow i might suggest to meet somewhere neutral first though, then maybe come back to mine. dont want to turn into a booty call.

@peaceful I had an interest like this while I was back at uni, though his was a physical problem than psychological. I was willing to be with him anyway because of the deep connection we had, but he was adamant it wasn't going to happen and ended up pushing me away. It may well be what Mr BiL is doing to you. But if you have a deep connection and want to be with him, then I would go with @eskimos advice here. If he sees you're serious and want to try then he might be willing too. I think he's building himself a defense wall for what he imagines is the inevitable... It doesn't have to be.
@change good luck for tonight!

Had to postpone Ms Sax cause of my entry cold, but immediately rearranged to Sunday so she didn't get the wrong idea XD were chatting on and off still.
Arranged a date with Ms music for the Monday, and I'm kinda looking forward to seeing her again, but there's just something niggling that I'm not sure if this can be more than short term cause of the whole wanting kids thing...

Not sure about ms Blade either. She's very chatty and on paper seems great, but I'm just not really engaging for some reason.

OLD funk perhaps?

Glad you had a response Esk1mo!

I didn't bother blocking him tbh, I've just deleted his number off my phone. If he contacts me again I'll block it. Does seem like it was cowardice rather than malice but either way he's a twat. If that's how he deals with such a minor thing then god help whatever poor woman ends up with him. Mr Mr definitely seems like he's being deliberately obtuse, you can't get much clearer than 'it's not going to work, good luck'.

I'm talking to 4 or 5 nice blokes on WhatsApp, POF and Tinder but haven't got any actual dates arranged; there's only been Mr Ireland, Mr NSDouchebag and Mr BBC since Christmas. I need to get my arse in gear in terms of actually going on dates but it just seems like such an effort for no return.

My distraction coffee date today was nice. Not sure if he's my type, he definitely likes himself but he seems like a nice guy. I'd be up for a proper 1st date to see a bit more of what he's like.
But I'm not invested in him in any way and I'm giving zero F*cks. Thanks to Amy
No name until after that.

My 4th date iron has been quiet but I'm leaving him to it to see what kinda effort he's prepared to make.

Another quick drink 1st meeting for tomorrow night.