Dating thread 130: dates with more issues than Vogue - mad March hares every one of 'em

[BeenThereDating]

Dating thread rules:

1. The first rule about the dating thread is you don't talk about it with people you're dating.
2. Develop a thick skin.
3. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
4. It's all BS until it actually happens.
5. Trust your gut instinct.
6. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
7. You are the prize - they should be trying to impress you.
8. If it's not fun, stop.
9. Loo update is mandatory.

10. No dating the thread

esk1mo it does sound like you're overthinking if he has admitted to not being a big texter. This isn't a change in his behaviour, it's just following the same pattern. Leave it tonight and text him tomorrow if you fancy making plans for this weekend.

Yes. My 4th date is with the same iron Knotty Captain and I'm still not going to serve MB. We've a sleepover arranged for the following weekend for those.

My tindering was just as a way to stop over investing in him but now I have 2 coffee dates from it.

spring thats true, theres no change in behaviour. i just thought DTD might make things a little different. i dont think i would text him first in this scenario, if it fizzles out then it wasnt meant to be.

oh thats fab, maybe i will do the same! must not overinvest

he wasnt a big texter before, he’d only text to arrange to meet up - no small talk

This is probably the ideal for most men I reckon - texting isn't the best communication medium and we tend to prefer face to face contact.

I've decided to stick with Date#2 man for tomorrow night. I've been messaging with the other guy but he is constantly trying to bring the conversation back to sex and yo be honest it's pissing me off. I've told him I'm not comfortable texting about sex with someone I've never met so he started on about how I was Miss Prim & Proper. I'm actually not, but he doesn't know me, and even if I were he should have some respect for my boundaries so I'm putting him in my "no" pile.

....and I've just seen that the guy I dated last year has viewed me on pof. It's made me feel a bit down. Never had chemistry like I did with him and the sex was the best I had ever had. Such a waste especially as he is clearly still looking for someone.
It finished with us because I wasn't prepared to start talking about moving in together after 4 months of dating. He told me I was a commitment-phobe and obviously still in love with my exh. Neither statement was true but he was adamant that he was right and I was wrong.

change would be up for meeting him again? seems like he may still be interested

It finished with us because I wasn't prepared to start talking about moving in together after 4 months of dating

Bullet dodged or do you have some regrets change?

I was really sad when it ended. I'm not saying it would have lasted forever but it didn't feel like it should have ended then if that makes sense. Ball was left very firmly in his court and he never contacted me again so can only assume he really believed the things he said about me.

I'm sure curiosity got the better of him which is why he viewed my profile. I haven't dated at all since things finished with him over 6 months ago now. I just didn't have the heart so this would be the first time he has seen me online since then.

I give up. Mr Moves has literally asked me ZERO about myself that I haven’t volunteered. He knows nothing. So I’ve openly said “ask me anything”. He said “ooh difficult you go first” 🙄 so I did. I asked him a Q. He replied. I commented on the reply. And got back “lol”.

This isn’t sexy. It’s dull. I’m seriously considering cancelling.

My personal opinion from the little you said change is that he is a potential cocklodger but if your view differs, why not reach out? Nothing to lose.

Oh and I’ve got a message off MrMr. Who I didn’t think I’d need to block on WA. It’s been a month since he didn’t reply to my “it’s not going to happen” message to him and I thought “well fair enough; he’s disappointed”. A MONTH. What the fuck????

I’m going gay; Vet* assume the position.

For me cover, a lack of questions is the ultimate sign of disinterest.

Yep. I’m not sure I can be arsed to waste an hour of my time on him, frankly. I’m pretty gregarious and good at chatting to strangers/putting people at their ease (probably by virtue of the job I do). But this feels like a massive fucking effort. With zero return.

He sounds dull as Cover. I can forgive a lot of things but that's not one of 'em. Life's too short.

What did Mr Mr have to say?

“How are you doing?”

I’m doing great. I told you we weren’t gonna happen and I moved on. You didn’t reply. Our interaction was over a month ago.
Is what I’m saying in my head as obvs I’m not going to reply.

Huh, someone has had an attack of conscience two weeks later. So now the twat has not only stood me up but fucking woken me up in the middle of the night 5 hours before I have to get up for work. And what a pathetically wishy washy message too. Ugh. Waste of time cockwombling wankbadger douchebag.

Hello!! Please can I dip in for advice from you wise vipers?? OLD match, v early, spoken on phone once/teeice and some whataspp messaging. All normal and nice.
Now what I am about to say may sound bat shit crazy so please forgive me in advance But... one issue has me feeling a bit ... hmm.
When we spoke on phone first time, TV was on in background, loud enough to be distacting for me. We were supposed to speak yesterday but after he said 'OK I am free now' (abt 10pm) he said 'oh I have to pop to shops to get milk, will call back after'. 10.30pm I get a message 'oh I am just gonna eat then will ring you'.

Normally things like this are no big deal, but when youre at the beginning stage of communicating shoulnt you be trying extra hard to connect?

I am overthinking as I am an overthinker but also didnt heed to warnings and made excuses for mens behaviour previoisly on OLD which turned out to be the wrong move.

Hard to be free and easy! Agh i sound crazy sorry! I am not generally needy or high maintenance I promise

Hey all, just curious. I’m presuming MB means sex but what does it stand for?

loco sounds a bit like he is with someone else or doesn't want someone to hear his convos. See if it happens again. I don't like speaking on the phone if my son is about.

What a crappy message vet. Delete and block. No reply necessary. Why bother texting that after 2 weeks?! Did you manage to get back to sleep?

kin, I don't think he was a cocklodger as such. He had a good profession that pays well and his own house. I just think he was on a different page to me. I have 2 primary school aged children whereas his were older and he could move at a quicker pace I guess. Who knows. I know I was gutted when it ended. Really gutted but you have to move on.

Vet block and forget. I had a iron do this to me last year, we chatted for ages, arranged to meet and he didn’t turn up, actually he vanished for 3 or 4 weeks and then he messaged to say ‘sorry’, I ignored and blocked. Some people are just total w*@&ers.

Loco he's sounding rather attached to me or he's very distracted (phoning someone else?) and making excuses. I don't get why he didn't know he was going to eat so late after popping to the shops so late... maybe he works shifts and was ravenous. I'd definitely be binning him off though as I don't think it's that difficult to agree a time to talk and stick to it.

Thanks Byron and BeenThere. I thought I was being too overly invested. Will see but not chase. I think he is just laid back rather than malicious / hiding something but ... you snooze you lose :)

Loco I'm going to echo what Byrons said - if he has kids, that could be a factor. I won't ever speak to a new iron, at least not in the very early stages, if mine are in earshot.