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Original poster

Dating thread 130: dates with more issues than Vogue - mad March hares every one of 'em

999 replies

BeenThereDating · 28/02/2018 21:04

Dating thread rules:

  1. The first rule about the dating thread is you don't talk about it with people you're dating.
  2. Develop a thick skin.
  3. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
  4. It's all BS until it actually happens.
  5. Trust your gut instinct.
  6. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
  7. You are the prize - they should be trying to impress you.
  8. If it's not fun, stop.
  9. Loo update is mandatory.
10. No dating the thread
OP posts:
Thread gallery
11
Vistaverde · 06/03/2018 11:20

Good to see some positive stories after the run of rubbish ones last week.

Welcome Daffo. I never had much luck with eharmony so soon gave up on it. It just did not bring up enough matches that were neare enough to me.

Kin Glad you had a good night with Miss Keen. I'm sure coffee will see you through.

Margo That sounds really promising with Mr Wales. I hope you have fun this evening.

Vixen I am tempted to download the WMLB book on to my kindle just to satisfy my curiosity and I know that I suffer from being too nice.

MargoLovebutter · 06/03/2018 11:26

Thanks last. Refusing the MB is proving very difficult, as there is the offer of a 'drink' at his hotel this evening. Every ounce of my hormone flooded body is shouting that I should go to the room, but my sensible head says not yet, that I need to know him better. I have said that we will go out and I am determined not to get within half a mile of his hotel, as otherwise my resolve may weaken.

MargoLovebutter · 06/03/2018 11:27

Vista the WMLB book is worth reading.

SpringtimeSun · 06/03/2018 11:32

Margo just don't shave your legs/underarms that'll keep you downstairs in the bar Grin

MargoLovebutter · 06/03/2018 11:37

Spring - thank you for that. My legs and bikini line definitely need pre-kit-off attention, so that will do the trick very well.

Kinunir · 06/03/2018 11:51

Vista Thanks, I'm just about staying awake!

Margo Your call entirely of course, and I totally get that waiting for MB can minimise the risk of dtd and then getting ghosted, but I honestly believe that men who enjoy MB and then disappear will do that after however many dates and those who won't, won't. So... maybe do whatever seems right in the moment?

I myself gave up on Miss Intellectual who was probably using MB as part of a game while I will continue to see Miss Keen who went with the flow far sooner than some on this thread would consider appropriate.

Just an alternative perspective - hope all goes well with Mr Wales as he does sound promising.

MargoLovebutter · 06/03/2018 11:58

Lol, Kin - I know all of that and I'm really not trying to play a game, or make him wait 2 years or any of that stuff.

Part of me is shit-scared, if I'm being truthful. I find ONS / casual stuff much easier than allowing myself to be vulnerable in a relationship - BUT I want to have a proper relationship, so I'm buying myself some time to make sure I do want one with him and I can allow the lump of ice that replaced my heart a while back to melt a bit. Sorry that is probably a tragic analogy, but I can't think of a better one.

Anyway, back to you - how many coffees have you had now and when are you seeing Miss Keen again?

ValMc1 · 06/03/2018 12:42

Margo I've always gone with my gut feeling - my most recent 2 have been a 2nd date ( lasted 16 years) and 3 weeks ( lasted 2 years) - I've just always gone along with what felt right for me at the time.

MargoLovebutter · 06/03/2018 12:52

Thanks Val. I find it hard to hear my gut, through the rampaging lust! Grin

I have a bad track record, so am really trying not to fuck this me up.

ValMc1 · 06/03/2018 13:19

Margo -although the start of the 16 year one was some time back, I do seem to remember a lot of lust was involved as well as gut instinct - perhaps I was just lucky - do what is right for you - if you are avoiding the hotel situation, perhaps you aren't quite ready yet. You can always change your mind tonight though.

Vistaverde · 06/03/2018 13:26

Another quick question for you.

So after saying yesterday that I was not initiating any new irons I have now appeared to have acquired one Smile who I shall call Mr Train. We have only exchanged a handful of messages yesterday and today and he has already suggested meeting. I just wonder whether it is too soon but think that my experience with Mr Bull is affecting my judgement.

At what point in a conversation do you look to meet or does is vary iron by iron?

Kinunir · 06/03/2018 13:33

Whenever you feel comfortable Vista. I personally prefer sooner rather than later to see if there is any real-life chemistry. There's nothing worse than investing in an online persona only to find the real thing is very different.

MargoLovebutter · 06/03/2018 13:36

Vista - do you like Mr Train enough to give up some of your precious time? That's how I think of it. Don't compare him to anyone else, just take him as he is and think about your time and your investment of interest.

Vistaverde · 06/03/2018 13:55

Kin You do have a good point there. I have left it much longer previously before meeting and then been disappointed when they weren't who I thought they were. Meeting now would lead to less expectations on my part as to how the date would go.

Margo Thank you. I like that question and it is one I am going to remember for the future. The answer to the question is I just don't know.

In other news Mr SA has confirmed for this evening. I hope he is as good as he looks in his profile pictures.

lastnicknamefree · 06/03/2018 14:02

Ooh vista is this a first date with MrSA?

Vistaverde · 06/03/2018 14:08

last Yes it is. Should have been last week but the snow got in the way.

ThirdTimeUnlucky · 06/03/2018 16:05

Hi
Well, my date today didn't happen. He completely disappeared from PoF last night. Right up to 5pm he was all keen. Just don't get it but I have other irons. My date from Sunday told me that I drank too much and I'm not for him! I could have said that he could talk a glass eye to sleep, hence my drinking.
So, I still have MrGingerNinja (he's the guy that literally fell asleep in the kitchen having taken strong painkillers). He msg today suggesting a theatre break. Meeting Mr S&M Sat morning.
Time to get some new irons.
Vista I always like to meet sooner than later to avoid over investing and being disappointed.

esk1mo · 06/03/2018 16:12

third Mr S&M?! do tell Shock

shame to hear that yet another man has
disappeared before meeting. i can only assume they do it as an ego boost to see how many women agree to meet them! as for the other guy who didnt like you getting drunk, you sound way too good for him Smile

ThirdTimeUnlucky · 06/03/2018 16:45

Thank you esk.
I know you're all going to tell me I'm mad but I've been chatting a while to a guy who is into S&M and he wants to teach me to be a 'sub'. Don't mind admitting that I'm curious. Am meeting up in public to see if we get on and will see how it goes from there.

Lovemusic33 · 06/03/2018 16:51

Third if you feel comfortable then go for it, I’m happy with being Dom but now way I could be Sub, I like to be in control, probably due to my past and not being in control Sad. One of my irons that I met I couple years ago was a Dom but didn’t know it (just naturally dominant) I hated it so I didn’t want to be in a relationship with him, we still talk and I only came clean to him the other day as to why I didn’t think we were comparable.

I’m getting fed up with Mr (flakey) Camper, he sends me a message, I reply, I can see he’s online and he takes a whole day to reply, he seems a bit boring too and only really chats about one thing.

Mr Local has been messaging me on and off all day making sure I’m ok (had a tooth pulled out today and ended up needing stitches).

POF is still pretty dead for me at the moment but I’m not too bothered.

esk1mo · 06/03/2018 17:04

third and love thats interesting. i dont know much about S&M, although like love said, i think MrF is naturally dominant and i loved it Blush. i also like romantic sex though.

would the dom/sub relationship or “rules” extend to outside of bedroom? even if FWB?

TomHardysBitontheside · 06/03/2018 17:24

Thanks vixen, I’ll check him out.

Vista the book is excellent. And I don’t tend to read self-help stuff. I can really see myself in there and have already changed my outlook and how I’m going to handle OLD. I’ve also tweaked my profile as a result of it. Well worth reading, and I’ve not even finished it yet.

ThirdTimeUnlucky · 06/03/2018 17:29

esk and love - I think I can be both dom and sub, which is what my personality is like anyway. I'm like you love - I like romantic sex/passionate sex the best.
Yes, the rules of sub and dom would exist outside the bedroom. My only problem that I can see is that I think some of it would make me laugh and he'd get annoyed. He's being very patient with me on the phone and is allowing me to set some rules atm. We'll see!

SpringtimeSun · 06/03/2018 18:17

So much for Tinder being a distraction......

I have 2 new 1st dates this week before my 4th date on Saturday Blush

esk1mo · 06/03/2018 18:42

springtime 4th date with the same iron?

i havent heard from MrF since he left yesterday morning Sad i dont deal with hangovers very well either, so im feeling shit about it all. maybe i should get some more irons, im shit at multidating!

he wasnt a big texter before, he’d only text to arrange to meet up - no small talk. said he has always been like this & he was
never on his phone when we met. so maybe im just overthinking it.

meh.