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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Dating thread 130: dates with more issues than Vogue - mad March hares every one of 'em

999 replies

BeenThereDating · 28/02/2018 21:04

Dating thread rules:

  1. The first rule about the dating thread is you don't talk about it with people you're dating.
  2. Develop a thick skin.
  3. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
  4. It's all BS until it actually happens.
  5. Trust your gut instinct.
  6. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
  7. You are the prize - they should be trying to impress you.
  8. If it's not fun, stop.
  9. Loo update is mandatory.
10. No dating the thread
OP posts:
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11
pudding21 · 05/03/2018 16:07

Well one night I went to his, and several hours and 4 times later I left at 3am. Went back to see him at lunch, managed twice (we have long lunches here ;). Then he came to mine that evening and for another 4 rounds. So in 24 hours, 10 times. He was like a durecell bunny (and older than me), he was always ready in about 10 minutes to go again! Both managed to work a full day in between! Blush. He wasn't fast at finishing either, he took his time.

I miss him. Hahahaha!

No really, I do miss him. By far the best (not had many) lover I have ever had. I have a fear the next guy will have a LOT to live up to.

changeoflife · 05/03/2018 16:27

Wow pudding that's some marathon 24 hours! Hats off to both of your stamina.... I would end up with a serious bout of cystitis if I tried that Grin

pudding21 · 05/03/2018 16:34

change never had any issues with him at all in terms of discomfort ;) We have an amazing chemistry, shame it ended but he really isn't longer term material. He is probably the most unique person I ever met in many ways. I could have fallen in love with him, had we not had discussions at the start about expectations. He told me at the start he didn't want to ever say he would only sleep with one person for the rest of his life. He gets bored easily generally (I am sure he has ADHD that hasn't bee diagnosed). We had a great 6 or 7 months together though, not one crossed word or stress. Because I knew his stance I was able on the most part to stop any emotions getting in the way. Soon as he told me he had interest in someone else, I ended it. I didn't want to share him or be waiting around to see whether it was me he wanted to stay with. If he wasn't good friends with Mr A I would have booty called him on numerous occasions since it ended in December. If I could meet someone like him that isn't emotionally stunted I would be a very happy girl.

Sigh.

ValMc1 · 05/03/2018 16:49

Change!2 gallons of Cranberry juice?
Kin - hope all goes well tonight - fingers crossed but don't think you'll need them!

Kinunir · 05/03/2018 16:56

Thanks Val!

esk1mo · 05/03/2018 17:01

pudding wow that is a marathon! we managed 5 times, except he wasnt lasting very long at all Blush

i love that sort of chemistry, its so rare for me. my last relationship we became more like friends and didnt have sex for the last 2 years, so i have a lot of catching up to do!

my last iron lost interest after we DTD (after love bombing me) so im quite paranoid that its going to happen again. i know some men lose interest after they have sex.

CoverMeLads · 05/03/2018 17:07

Margo definitely: it’s almost verbatim

kangamam · 05/03/2018 17:34

Hi all, I'm not great at keeping up on this but I'm doing my best!

Vistaverde - I've been told that too on a date! He says all guys just swipe everyone to see if they can get a match back. I was like charming 😒

Rita - Gosh, they both sound awful!! What is with people?! Kisses and cuddle to you blerghhhh no thanks!

Bloody - how ridiculous. I don't get people at all!

Pudding - I am with change on the cystitis front!! Gosh the chafing!! I'm impressed!

So I didn't take any of your advice with the guy who wasn't asking for a second date and flat out asking him, but now I wish I had. Because despite his last message to me being a very long in depth message complete with questions, I've replied and got NOTHING back. I honestly don't get it. He showed all the signs of being keen. And even if I'd misread all the signals on the date, why would you keep messaging someone after a date if you weren't interested or didn't want to see them again? Am I odd for feeling completely down and deflated about this? I feel quite upset and I'm not sure I'm ready for this dating malarkey anymore.

To top it off, a man I was talking to a couple of weeks ago who got a bit odd and wasn't taking no for an answer, I blocked on WhatsApp. He's now sent me a load of abuse on a text message saying I'm rude, 'average looking', 'have a kid' and should've considered myself lucky he wanted to date me.

Bloodyuselessatthinkingofaname · 05/03/2018 18:25

kangamam there are some real F*ckers out there and they're not even all that !

VetOnCall · 05/03/2018 18:30

Sounds like some good dates had over the weekend!

Not much to report here still... I'm still messaging Mr BBC on and off and he has suggested meeting again but I'm not sure. I stopped talking to Mr PhD, he wasn't really doing it for me. I have one interesting iron I'm talking to on WhatsApp but he lives about an hour away and is going away with work for 2 weeks as of tonight so I doubt if anything will come of it. He's very nice and definitely eligible, we seem to have some stuff in common, but I'm not entirely sure that I'm the kind of woman that men like him are looking for. He's a commodities trader and we were talking about being in Africa; turns out we'd been to a few of the same places - he was selling a diamond mine and staying in a 5-star luxury hotel, I was backpacking and staying in a $7 per night hostel Grin

Bloodyuselessatthinkingofaname · 05/03/2018 18:32

coverme you know you want to Grin

pudding at least I don't have this : " I woke up in the night to the stench of dog diarrohea throughout my house. Then he was sick. " I know I shouldn't laugh ....but Grin Grin Grin

pudding21 · 05/03/2018 18:44

been it was delightful, but he's quite smart and shit in my shower so was easy to clean up and then bleach ;) I am pleased it made you feel a teeny bit better :)

vet assuming your a real vet :) any tips? He's had diarrohea for about 12 hours, sick twice, but he has energy and has eaten a small amount and drinking. Vets tomorrow if he's no better? He is a street dog, eats bloody anything. I think he just ate something dodge,

changeoflife · 05/03/2018 20:40

Dating Dilemma of tonight.... I have a baby sitter booked for Wednesday. Initially it was do I could do date#2 with Mr OK in text but no conversation when we met. I haven't confirmed the date yet.
In the meantime Mr Chatting to yesterday has asked to meet on Wednesday. He was going away for work so we aren't going to meet until next week but has now decided to delay going until Thursday.
So, do I use the sitter for him instead of Date#2 guy?
I prefer the latest guy. He is chattier and sounds more fun. Sitters are expensive so I need to choose wisely!

changeoflife · 05/03/2018 20:43

I've just received a text from Mr Date#2. It reads.... I'm shattered just sat down to eat rice.

I think I've answered my own question.

esk1mo · 05/03/2018 20:46

change definitely meet the new guy!!

changeoflife · 05/03/2018 20:54

Thanks esk1mo I need to meet the new guy. I hadn't confirmed with Date#2 guy anyway so it's not like I'm properly ditching him. I can just say I couldn't get a sitter.

esk1mo · 05/03/2018 21:06

change at least you will know if you have more chemistry with no.2, as opposed to
no.1. you could always arrange another date with him next week, but it does sound like a personality mismatch.

VixenSixen · 05/03/2018 21:25

Eskimo - New date guy Mr Chatting all the way!

Kanga- you can block phone numbers on your phone and not just What'sApp to ensure that they are erased from your life forever!

Lovemusic33 · 05/03/2018 21:37

Wish I could manage 10 times in a day, I ended up with Cystitis after a session with Mr Bike. I used to do it 5-6 times a day with my ex, it was probably the best sex I had, but sadly other people were getting a sample too Sad.

Right, I’m on a mission to get a date with Mr Local, it can’t be that hard, he lives a couple miles away, we cross paths most days so going for a coffee should be easy and the obvious thing to do right?

VetOnCall · 05/03/2018 21:57

pudding I am indeed a real life vet Grin

As long as he seems ok in himself, he's not passing blood, and is eating and, most importantly, drinking I wouldn't worry unduly. The 'don't panic limit' for a stomach upset in a healthy adult dog (so not a tiny puppy, elderly or with an existing health condition) is 24 hours as long as they are staying hydrated and seem perky.

There are two schools of thought with upset stomachs - starve or feed bland food little and often. I advise on a case by case basis, but with acute diarrhoea and vomiting in my own dogs I will usually starve for around 12 hours or so and then give small amounts of scrambled egg (no milk), or steamed white fish or chicken and a tablespoon of organic plain natural bio yoghurt to help the gut settle. Feed very small amounts of the above 4 or 5 times a day for a couple of days until they're back to normal. If you can get it, canned pumpkin is great for upset stomachs, I usually mix a tablespoon with scrambled eggs or steamed white fish and the bio yoghurt. Make sure it's plain, not the sweetened pie filling type though.

Urgent symptoms which require immediate veterinary attention are: refusing to drink and becoming dehydrated, becoming extremely lethargic and unresponsive, passing or vomiting blood, repeated but unproductive retching or straining (so trying to vomit or poo but not producing anything), sitting or standing in a hunched up position with the head down, called the 'prayer position', a tight, swollen. hard and painful abdomen - the latter three can indicate a blockage which is an absolute emergency.

Barring any of the above symptoms, if it persists for more than 24-36 hours then I would call the vet. You can buy probiotic paste online which is useful to have in the house just in case, especially if your dog is a gutbucket - Pro Kolin is a good one and it's cheaper online.

www.animeddirect.co.uk/protexin-pro-kolin-paste-syringe-60ml.html?gclid=CjwKCAiA8vPUBRAyEiwA8F1oDBUUrin3FVahJGOII10oXMDmsL0GHjHxOb4kjq6YWZW27uXG4J_6IhoCAVUQAvD_BwE

lastnicknamefree · 05/03/2018 21:58

Popping by to see if kin has updated! So hoping he gets his long overdue moose burgers this evening!

I’m reading but the thread is moving so quickly! It’s way more interesting/exciting than my non-dating life anyway...

TomHardysBitontheside · 05/03/2018 22:06

After reading about Why Men Love Bitches on here I downloaded a sample to my Kindle. What I read made sense so I bought the whole book. Can I just say I’ve never read a book that makes so much sense! I am the doormat described in it. I’ve read quite a lot today to and from work, and I already feel more empowered and in control of my online dating. I am never going to be the doormat again.

VetOnCall · 05/03/2018 22:11

Message on POF...

'Is your mane [sic] wifi because I feel a connection lol'

Shoot me now. Please.

Lovemusic33 · 05/03/2018 22:11

Resault, Mr local has asked to meet up, exchanged numbers and turns out he actually lives just up the road from me, not sure if that’s a good thing or bad thing?

pudding21 · 05/03/2018 22:18

Thanks vet. He was back to humping the kids legs at bedtime. I think he's on the way up. He's a horny devil..... might need some tips on that soon!

To be clear the mammoth session was over 24 hours and over three meet ups in that time. And that was really early on we got a touch lazier after that ;) I was so desperate for human skin to skin contact in his company it's all I wanted to do!

Stop talking about it now or I'll end up calling him. Eyes still on the prize!

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