Dating thread 130: dates with more issues than Vogue - mad March hares every one of 'em

[BeenThereDating]

Dating thread rules:

1. The first rule about the dating thread is you don't talk about it with people you're dating.
2. Develop a thick skin.
3. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
4. It's all BS until it actually happens.
5. Trust your gut instinct.
6. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
7. You are the prize - they should be trying to impress you.
8. If it's not fun, stop.
9. Loo update is mandatory.

10. No dating the thread

Tom - I guess it depends. Some days I might feel more vulnerable than others, I may have committed more to one guy than another. Usually I just think "twat" and move on, but I am a hard-nosed cow.

I do take loooong breaks from it. More off than on really.

Bloody - yes, a bit of daily chat I think.

bloody personally I’d still message each day, if only a quick “hello, have you had a good day” type of message.

Thanks love and newyear, I do think I’ve had a lucky escape. These experiences are draining though, even if you know it won’t work. I am chatting to a couple of other seemingly nice people. One is keen to meet up soon and appears to be quite normal. But you never know!!

I’ve just bought Why Men Love Bitches having read about it on here. So far, in the introduction, they are describing me! Maybe this is the book I need!!

chatting to someone who is telling me that women should accept the submissive role in relationships as it works better.....feel like giving up with OLD

Thanks senior, I’m also quite good at recognising twats now. And sometimes I do take a short break, to take stock a bit. Sometimes I find it all immense fun and others it’s just all too much like hard work!

user I think I’d just walk away from that one. What a bigoted man!

Flipping heck I disappear for an afternoon and you lot have put the world to rights, filled pages of talk and Kitten has another iron! Can't keep up!
I used to be a right softy but you definitely need a thick skin for this stuff so I have toughened up a bit and now brush myself off if anyone is out of order.
I do think it is useful to hear others experiences and know you are not the only one meeting idiots, or on the other hand its nice to hear when people have good dates. Also good to know I am not the only one leaving my eyebrows alone, cheers.
Still with Cover and others in that I would rather be alone than with Mr not quite right, so I expect to be alone for some time yet
Hope you all have a nice relaxing evening

Oh dear user I'd definitely walk away from that one.

bloody I like to maintain some contact after a meet up is arranged. Doesn't have to be full-on, messaging all day, but just a hey, how was your day? ... type of message.

senior I had a "how are you doing, dear" message yesterday. It took all of my will power to not send a sarcastic reply.

Change I had a dear message too, also hate it when people call you darling etc straight away or overly lovey you're beautiful blah blah . Instant ignore/ block.

Yep me too ignoring. I had someone call me truffle on Tinder the other day.

By the way, there is a thread in Active convo's for a competition, which I think a few on here could enter and possibly win?

"What's the biggest mess that's been on your worktop and who in your family created it? Share with Caesarstone - £300 voucher to be won!"

Tom I used take more breaks than I was ever dating. I don't think I ever managed more than three weeks without then having to pretend the whole online thing didn't exist. The minute it stopped being fun I'd take a break.

Ignoring you step away from this thread for a day at your peril!

@bloody after arranging a date I don't really message much until the date. If it's not imminent though then I'll keep in touch every few days so we remember we each exist XD
@ignore this might be why I can juggle all these irons XD tbh I'm a bit behind emailing Mr Bachelor, but then I thought I was seeing him this weekend. I better reply to him!
@Tom what a strange thing for them to be argumentative about... Pick yourself up, dust yourself off, and remember the thread is here to discuss these bizarre experiences. It's a pain there's weird people out there, but you will find the gem you're looking for :)

I find these discussions really helpful in terms of navigating a new path in online dating. I am very much in the I am in control camp. Or I am trying to be as much as possible without looking like a complete alpha male and scare all the men away. I am up for a laugh, I like to flirt but I also like a man to show that in the early stages he recognizes there is a real person at the other side. I think everyone is right that its all so instant, and it removes boundaries. I feel a bit of a novice, but thats good because every interaction I have teaches me a little bit more about myself. I find some irons I am happy to be sexual with, others not, and either way if I am comfortable i will chat. If not, I will just not respond at some stage and it dies out. I figure if the gut was really interested he would persue and then i can see what I want to do.

I was talking to a guy tonight (very interesting prospect, lets call him Monsieur) and he said that many women in Portugal expect a man to pay for everything and look after them. And he prefers a strong independent woman. Not one gut has said that to me so far, and I believe him. Its all about that one match that might make you gice up your single life and I have come to the conclusion that despite at times not feeling 100% ready, its the healthiest thing to do after coming out a long realtionship when the last time I dated was in 1995 FFS.

My point is to see the different take people have on things is very interesting but that the most important thing really is to go with your instinct on it, and listen to that inner voice.

I have drunk wine tonight so apologies if its rambling. Seriously thought I had found the one tonight with Mr Monsieur (French, living in Portugal, very very witty and hot). Then I asked him if he still had that navy uniform he had on in one of the pics, and he said yes, but its his dads!! Officer and a gentleman fantasy: Poof: Just like that! But he is funny and hot, so I will forgive him wearing his father navy uniform to shamefully get the chicks.

Mr Dutch/ English text a little bit yesterday, nothing today but he knows I was having a busy day. I would be up for seeing him Friday if he was free, but I want to know he is really keen. Otherwise i might meet Monsieur :)

That might have been Freudian or my fat thumbs but gut obviously should have been GUY.

Thanks all for replying re the texting /messaging .

ignoring the counter top thing - hhahahhahahaha I laughed so much !

Bloody it depends (it darn well would, wouldn't it?!). If I'm meeting quickly, say within the week, I'd usually maintain daily contact with an email giving a bit of news. If we can't meet for a while but it's booked I've been known to agree not to message until the day before the date then I message to check it's still on and confirm arrangements for the following day.

I didn't in the end, feel rotten and have rearranged to next week.

I had a date where he didn't text after despite it going well, so I didn't either but I had expected one even if it was a thanks but no thanks. I still think I'd have preferred a text to nothing. So to regain some control I deleted blocked and moved on!

Thanks BloodyI fear 'the thread' is infiltrating my daily life, a friend mentioned 50 shades the other day and I immediately thought of 50 shadesasoldier, another friend talked about their architect and my first thought was 'ooh wonder how pud is getting on....I need to devote this much thought to my job as unless you all give me tips on how to meet a millionaire (who is also hot and funny) then this thread isn't going to pay the bills but my job is!

Similar thing here Ignoring - this thread doesn't get the ironing done...

Change ""how are you doing, dear""

That sounds like my ex, he often called me 'dear' even though he was five years younger than me and it made it sound like he was my uncle or something.

Funny story - had lived with now-ex 4 years, split up, I was sleeping in spare room waiting to move out, he started acting oddly (when you've known someone a while, you just know) - so I started searching online for him. It took a few weeks but eventually I found him on a couple, both sex sites, for swingers. Just as I was perusing his profile and screen shotting it (just in case) he messaged me (it was about 1am), from the next bedroom! "Hello madam, still up? fancy a chat?".
Urgh.
I felt ill.

I shut the laptop down. Later thought I should have just walked into his room and said "what would you like to chat about then?"
Shudder

(I made him aware later that it was me and that I had found Ev-ery-thing! There is a v long story around that too)

Ironing is over-rated Been if kids are embarrassed enough I figure they will work out how to use the iron (they are teens I'm not completely mean!)

Oh God Rita !!

Ewwww Rita !! I've deleted the message otherwise I would have pm'd you the profile so you could have checked!

Ironing is over-rated Been if kids are embarrassed enough I figure they will work out how to use the iron (they are teens I'm not completely mean!)

"Dad... you know you love me..."

My daughter knows how to play me like a fiddle