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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

Relative forgot my baby’s 1st Birthday?

207 replies

PasstheStarmix · 25/02/2018 09:47

Hi, my sibling forgot my baby’s first birthday. I’m disappointed in said sibling. Said sibling has no dc and plenty of free time to be organised. Has this happened to you or anybody you know? I just seem to have a really poor family.

OP posts:
bitzy12 · 25/02/2018 17:28

Not a big deal to me, my dad still doesn't know my birthday and I'm 34. But he's always there for me and that's what matters.

Personally I think there's much bigger things to worry about than a missed birthday.

IrianOfW · 25/02/2018 17:28

My SIL never remembers any of our birthdays. Once a year she gives a box full of gifts for all of our birthdays - it's like a second christmas!

SilverySurfer · 25/02/2018 18:50

Love how this thread follows so many on here. OP posts, PP disagree, OP drip feeds to justify her stance, still PP disagree - so nothing left to do but flounce off the thread.

You are being unreasonable to assume because your DSis has no children that she can't possibly be busier than you now you've given birth. In the grand scheme of things her not sending a card is not high on the list and naturally your child won't have a clue.

corythatwas · 25/02/2018 19:44

What will you do when the kids start to understand and ask why?

OP, when your own dc gets old enough to understand it will be your job to model how to react to the minor upsets in life. You decide whether to teach him to be terribly hurt by every perceived slight or to be resilient and laugh at the general silliness of life. And you teach him through your own reaction.

dumbolickous · 25/02/2018 19:57

I haven't rtft but I get the gist. My family and friends have an agreement that when there's a birthday we send a happy birthday text . Then use the money we would have spent (wasted) on a card to buy something for the supermarket food bank. So it goes like this .... Hi, happy birthday! 2packs of tampons and a carton of juice. We do buy gifts for the children though.

Howlongtilldinner · 25/02/2018 20:28

I’m afraid I disagree with ‘it’s not a big deal’ to be honest. Lots of people have their priorities wrong. If it were my niece/nephew, however young, they would’ve been acknowledged. I really don’t get ‘too busy’ rubbish.

If it’s important, you’ll remember it, if you don’t, then it’s not important.

snabigailflagstabble · 25/02/2018 20:41

Your baby is not as interesting to others as they are to you. Particularly if you are young free and single. If they had sent a gift that was more appropriate for a hen party, ok that's not on, but forgetting is just that.

Original poster
PasstheStarmix · 25/02/2018 21:10

thank you so much Redlipstickismyarmour for your kind comment. I agree haha I won’t be posting anything on a Sunday again as the MN weekend bitchy Nitpicking brigade have been out in full force. Also a lot of pp’s without dc commenting quote ’A one year olds birthday is fuck all of a deal. I’m sure FreeNiki if it was your 1 year old the birthday would be if you chose to ‘breed’ in the future. I’m off to look after my baby that sleeps all of the time (I wish!!!!)

OP posts:
MexicanBob · 25/02/2018 21:15

I couldn't tell you any of my nephews' birthdays (no nieces - yet) if my life depended on it.

Original poster
PasstheStarmix · 25/02/2018 21:16

Niki did say to anyone but the parents I just saw that. Right I’m away. Thanks.

OP posts:
GameChanger01 · 26/02/2018 00:40

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

Original poster
PasstheStarmix · 26/02/2018 05:58

GameChanger01 Easy to hide behind a keyboard and fire nasty comments, back off.

OP posts:
Cuban8 · 26/02/2018 07:10

OP I have read the whole thread and this is the one single comment that stands out like the proverbial turd in a punch bowl:

(From OP to another poster): "Gah you’re determined for a fight aren’t you"

Genuinely OP, YOU are the one looking for a fight.

You're looking for a fight with your sibling and you're looking for a fight with anyone here that disagrees with you. I strongly suspect this theme runs through you're daily life.

I'm not sure it will help you because you seem incredibly self obsessed, but I suggest you read back the whole thread to yourself and objectively have a look at your own shouty comments.

If you're going to lose your shit over something as benign as a birthday card, you're going to spend your life .... well.......... losing your shit.

Understand that somethings don't have the same importance to some people as they do to you - and move on.

Or....... continue to live your life being disappointed ......... and having lots of fights ..... and losing your shit

HTH

Cuban8 · 26/02/2018 07:19

...... and have to agree with the following - couldn't have put it better if I tried:

ChaosNeverRains:
Every time I read a thread like this one it reminds me that I want to start a thread about the embarrassing things we thought/expected when the kids were young which when they’re older make us cringe. Not pfb stuff but stuff we had expectations about.

PigletWasPoohsFriend · 26/02/2018 07:31

Easy to hide behind a keyboard and fire nasty comments, back off.

Well if you werentcso rude posters wouldn't be rude back.

PigletWasPoohsFriend · 26/02/2018 07:31

*weren't so....

OP posts:
ilovesooty · 26/02/2018 11:28

For goodness sake. You really are determined to cast yourself in the role of victim while taking no responsibility for your own posts. Report any comments you find unacceptable. It seems pretty daft to me to start posting an old daily mail article thinking that in some way it validates what you say.

WitchesHatRim · 26/02/2018 12:08

PasstheStarmix

You seem to take no responsibility for your own posts it seems.

jjessica550 · 26/02/2018 12:08

I read this thread with interest because I have had a similar situation recently but found very little advice or constructive comments.

I thought the thread was about someone not sending a birthday card to a one year old not whether someone who has kids or not has a busier life; totally blown out of proportion. It's very sad that this post has got invaded and turned away from its original theme. No wonder the OP has left!!

On the actual subject matter I thinks it's appalling that a sibling forgot a one year old BABIES birthday. Busy life or not no one is 'that' busy! When my brother forgot my son's birthday I wasn't amused, I told him that it's someone's birthday, the day you were brought into this world and would he be happy if no one made a big deal of his big day. The card is the major way in today's world to acknowledge it. Birthdays should never be belittled in my opinion.

WitchesHatRim · 26/02/2018 12:10

I thought the thread was about someone not sending a birthday card to a one year old not whether someone who has kids or not has a busier life; totally blown out of proportion.

Don't make silly comments and assumptions about people with no DC and threads won't get derailed.

Not hard really.

GottadoitGottadoit · 26/02/2018 12:11

Why do you keep asking people who respond to you if they have children? Confused

zzzzz · 26/02/2018 12:14

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

PattiStanger · 26/02/2018 12:17

On the actual subject matter I thinks it's appalling that a sibling forgot a one year old BABIES birthday

I think you may be losing some perspective here, murders, rapes, child abuse etc are appalling, someone who forgets a birthday, not so much.

Don't get so het up about nothing, as lots of other posts have said, your child's birthday really itsn't that important to anyone else. I'm very glad that some of you aren't my siblings

jjessica550 · 26/02/2018 12:20

Why is someone with no DC on a thread about a 1 year old birthday in the first place? Lol Clearly having a child you'll relate more to this thread than not having one is that not why OP asking, that's how I read it.

A lot of people just jumping on things here and spending a lot of time on here;ironic given previous posts.