Relative forgot my baby’s 1st Birthday?

[PasstheStarmix]

Hi, my sibling forgot my baby’s first birthday. I’m disappointed in said sibling. Said sibling has no dc and plenty of free time to be organised. Has this happened to you or anybody you know? I just seem to have a really poor family.

You're just going to get more annoyed OP, you are bothered by it, the vast majority of posts so far are from people it doesn't bother.

What do you want to get from this thread?

I'm sorry your family isn't close, you feel it and notice it more once you have children yourself.

You already said that they haven't been great for the full year. That isn't going to change. Stop expecting anything form them and then you can't be disappointed.

Although your dd is the most important thing in your world she isn't necessarily the centre of everyone else's world. That doesn't mean they don't love and care about her but They will have their own stuff. Maybe she has her ex's sisters b'day firmly in her diary or mind for some reason. Who knows but really nothing to get worked up about.

Jeez, you sound like hard work. Your "well she hasn't got children so her life must be empty and barren" rhetoric is doing you no favours.

I don't have children and think I have an awesome life.

I used to be great about remembering kids birthdays (nieces/nephews and friend's children) then the reached a critical mass and I gave up. There are now more than 20children that I see regularly and have an "aunt" type of relationship with.

These days I try to get a card in the post.

I've started doing random presents when I see them rather than posting stuff for birthdays - sometimes I'm hugely generous, other times I give nothing at all. I have a spreadsheet where I keep track of the spending in case any of my more paranoid friends are comparing what gets given to their kids with others....

It is rubbish. My Dh dad forgot his birthday. He only remembered about a week later. I think it's awful.

Oh God! My Ds forgets every ones birthday, including mine. I remind him all the time. Everyone is used to him now though, so just don't get upset with it.

Yes I had no dc for thirty odd years and led a very busy life yet was organised with Birthdays and still am after having Ds. I think it’s a personality thing maybe. If sister forgot everybody else’s birthdays (less close peopl) I’d feel better.

If you have 5 kids maybe she thinks she buys your family enough?

The baby won’t notice.

opinionatedfreak Before jumping on bandwagon read all my comments

I've never forgotten my niece's birthday yet but wouldn't have welcomed being the focus of this attitude if I ever had.
I didn't go to her first birthday party though. It wasn't an event I was going to make a 250 mile round trip for. Her wedding was a different matter.

I didn’t want to drip feed incase people cane on saying well when you have 5 kids blah blah blah

I understand that, but after reasonably mentioning it in your OP, you repeated it unnecessarily in three subsequent posts

I don't think this is such a big deal.
It's nice when they remember but not a requirement.

Also opinionatedfreak are you saying jay he more children you have in your life the easier it is to forget? As that was my point when i highlighted my sister only has one child in her life (my ds)

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Your baby is totally unaware that her aunt has forgotten her birthday. Therefore it doesn't matter. When she's old enough to be aware of birthdays it might matter, if she's close to your sister or if she has few people in her life to make a fuss of her. Really though only the parents need to remember a one year old's birthday, and ideally grandparents more because it's a milestone to their own child than because the baby cares.

I have 3 kids. I struggle to remember anyone's birthday except theirs and dh's tbh. I have a small number of nephews and nieces and have a calender reminder set up, but couldn't tell you any of their birthdays off hand. My birthday isn't especially important to me.

I think your sibling forgot and it doesn't mean anything or matter. She may have sent something which arrives a day or two late.

*ScreamingValenta" despite reading the OP 's comments you're part of the bandwagon

I think if she shows love and care for her niece or nephew in other ways it’s no biggie that she forgot a birthday. Don’t sweat the small stuff.

It might have helped if you didn't keep changing the reason for the comment, OP! Take a line and stick to it - often rheumatoid best way.

But I do hope we have helped challenge unthinking assumptions about childfree people (I think we have here) and also how important children are to people other than their parents.

I don’t have any nieces or nephews but have loads of children in my life. My group of ‘best friends’ alone has 8 children.
Anyway, it’s not unreasonable for you to feel disappointed I don’t think. But what can you do? Having a go at her won’t make any difference. If she forgot (for whatever reason) then she forgot. Being annoyed/upset won’t change that.
Carry on giving to the relationship as you see fit and are happy with.

welshsoph I wasn’t saying she was more or less busy because of having no kids and sorry if I’ve offended people without kids. As I’ve already said I had no kids for over 30 years and a very busy life and was the same with cards before and after dc. If I had have had ‘20 nieces and nephews’ I may not have been an organised.

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I agree with Lifeisabeach09 .
I don't think this is such a big deal.
It's nice when they remember but not a requirement.

Your baby has no idea about any of this so the only person who can - choose to - be hurt is you, OP.

It seems people on Thai thread or determined to nitpick and are like dogs with bones and cause arguments I don’t know how many times I have to say you
CAN be BUSY WITHOUT WITHOUT DC

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