Relative forgot my baby’s 1st Birthday?

[PasstheStarmix]

Hi, my sibling forgot my baby’s first birthday. I’m disappointed in said sibling. Said sibling has no dc and plenty of free time to be organised. Has this happened to you or anybody you know? I just seem to have a really poor family.

Op this has clearly bothered you. In the nicest way, plenty of people have tried to suggest that it's hurtful but probably not the biggest deal on the world.

If you keep clinging on the resentment over this it's just going to end up affecting the relationship you and your child have with your sister. Is it worth it?

BelindasRedPlasticHandcuffs I agree thank you.

Do you think there will ever come a point when this will matter to your son? Genuinely? If a piece of folded cardboard arrives a week late will it be tainted by its lack of punctuality and not worthy of inclusion in the shoe box?

I don’t think you like your sister and the lack of birthday card etc is aggravating your existing feelings of dislike

Evelynismycatsformerspyname It means something to me.

Am I invisible?

When was the birthday?

Aridane If I didn’t like her I wouldn't care and be bothered; I would feel nothing

I don't think this is about your sister's thoughts of your son, OP, I think it's about her views on you. You don't sound close. Whether you think you are or not, if you WERE close in her mind, your son would also be close to her.

Perhaps think about that to yourself... whether you are genuinely close family or not? You say that your other family 'haven't been great', why is that? I'm not saying that it's because of you but the closeness is a barometer (in my experience) of whether people bother with the children.

Blue your comment was swamped and I’m tending to Ds. Why?

Op please take this in the right tone. Your baby is the most wonderful thing and the birthday is a big deal for you. I can assure you it is of no interest to your baby who has no idea. A sibling with no children is in a different world. Without reminders it happens all the time. I have 4 adult children who regularly forget the birthdays of their nephews and nieces. There are ten of them. No offence is intended. Things get so disorganised I have set up a google shared calendar. Really, it should not be a big deal. There are more important things in the world to get upset about

Does your sister spend a lot of time with your ds, does she spend 1-1 time with him regularly? Did you invite her over for his birthday for a slice of cake?

I would be upset if my sister who spent a lot of 1-1 time with my ds and was invited over for cake never gave a card/small gift, but my 3 brothers who only see him now and again wouldn’t bother me, even though my dB has a godson I know he buys for, they are just closer. A relationship is not defined entirely by blood, it needs to be worked on by both sides.

You clearly don’t want to answer.

All my siblings have forgotten my 3 dc's birthdays,y dc are6 in may, 5 in april & 3 in march. I have 4 sisters age ranging from 27, 26, 18 & 14 and 1 brother who is 16. The 26 year old is my full sibling and not one of them have ever remembered their birthdays. I dont take it personally anymore tbh, the kids dont understand ao theyre not missing out.

Ok so presumably the birthday is today or maybe yesterday and you're annoyed there's not a card YET.... 🤔

DH’s siblings forget DD’s birthday (and Xmas) every year. Kinda gotten used to it now (DD is 7).

LyingWitchInTheWardrobe I said that because my dh’s family are estranged because they were abusive towards him growing up. I see what you mean. Maybe that’s why. She seems to be only contacting when something is going wrong.

I waited a week after ds’s birthday and still nothing. I won’t say anything to her as probably no point like a pp said

Is rhis really a problem? I forget birthdays all the time and people forget mine or get it mixed up with my brothers birthday. It wasn't even an issue for us when we were little.

Feel the need to point out that just because she doesn't have children doesn't mean she necessarily has lots of free time! I have people think this often but I have a demanding stressful job, lots going on and live on my own so have to do everything myself and yet everyone seems to think no children means you have nothing to do!

missmorleyme What will you do when the kids start to understand and ask why?

Tbh a week isn’t that long. If she’s had a reminder on her phone but put it on the day and forgotten to do an alert in advance then by the time she gets a card a posts it I’d be reckoning 10days isn’t that bad.

Was there a family party she was invited to and did she attend that?

It would be better to say something to her rather than continuing to seethe with resentment.

Gemi33 Please read full thread

And I'd like to second that being childless/childfree does not mean having lots of time. I don't.

At risk of sounding like a MN cliche, do you realise quite how rude you sound?