Is this financial control or should I work more?

[ReginaPhalangeismyothername]

I've had another fall out with my husband about money. Here is our situation:
Husband works full time, sometimes late/sometimes weekends but self employed. He earns approx 12k a year, refuses to get a job to better our circumstances.
I also work part time, around 10 hours a week and attend college 2 full days a week.
I do all of the childcare, all of the house stuff, all of the running around for clubs etc.
I'm getting really frustrated as he takes all of the tax credits and child benefit, says he needs it for cash flow for his business and he pays the bills. He also manages to fund a weed addiction, drinks (at home) every weekend and smokes. I on the other hand have to buy the food with the money I earn and put petrol in the car, anything i have left goes on the kids clubs.
He seems to think I should work more if I'd like more money, however, I have tried going back to work full time and ended up doing everything for the children and the house and having a full time job. He basically wants me to work as long as it doesn't affect him. I'm tempted to get more hours and tell him he needs to fund half of the childcare.
I'm fed up of never having any money to buy some jeans if I need them or a lunch with a friend. I always have to ask him if I need money and sometimes its fine, he has it to give me. Othertimes he doesn't have it ( while chugging away on a fag and beer).
It's been sparked tonight by me asking if we can call into my ikea as we are passing. He said I need to work more To earn the money if I want to go there ( I've had a list of some bits we need for about 9 months but never had the money). He is off out tonighT to spend probably about £50 celebrating a family members birthday.
I know if we separated id be better off or at the least, in control of my own money.

If you own a property with your DH then you will have a limited time to claim housing benefit the marital property will have to be sold/you get your share/you move back in.

You need to go to the housing officer, explain you are in an abusive marriage and need to leave and that you will be divorcing him etc. Where I live they do a loan deposit scheme for people in your situation. I think after the gist 8 months they wanted evidence that you were progressing with the divorce/sorting out marital assets etc.

It sounds like a great opportunity! I would also look into the property size and value of what they will help you rent. So if you have all girls they will help with the council limit of a 2 bed and so on.

Random, technically the house is in his name so how would that work? I'm not on the mortgage or the deeds.

It doesn't matter, when married all assets are joint. You will be deemed as owning a property.

Don't underestimate how hard it is to find a LL who will accept benefits or children. Being a student going to uni won't make any difference to that, you're still under unemployed and would fail most LL checks only working ten hours a week. You may have to go full time and study at night.

So how long would I be able to claim HB for?

You need to urgently speak to your local council housing officer, it can differ between areas and the fact you are a student could be a curveball.

I'm reading your thread with great interrests as I'm living quasi the same nightmare and I want out. I went out to see "professionals" but I feel they're misleading me and nothing is moving on.
@FreshFigs did you have to go through a divorce?
I think you should not delay. If you're married, you have to contact Tax credits and tell them from what date you are separate. Then you can claim HB. In my case, We can't even talk and agree on a date without him kicking off and going around in circles. You're like his cashcow so he might look for ways to sabotage you.

How much equity is there in the property? I assume you bought fairly recently so not much!

When I left I went to housing with the domestic abuse worker as the police referred me (it was too dangerous for me to stay in the marital home as decided by MARAC) and they gave me HB for a private tenancy until ExH paid me out in the divorce.

My understanding is that there isn't a time limit you just need to show that you are pushing through the divorce and basically that you are not being fraudulent and the relationship is over and you are seeking to get your share of assets. Some people will have enough assets to but a suitable home outright I suspect you have very little!

Regina, I wouldn't mention to your new prospective landlord that you will be studying for years.

He will be more interested in whether you can afford the rent, so you will need to get a full time job.

As someone else said, you could study for a OU degree evenings and weekends. Plenty of people do.

But surely he’s worked out that if you earn more you’ll get less tax credits ?
I think going it alone sounds like a good idea

It doesn't matter, when married all assets are joint. You will be deemed as owning a property.

This is incorrect. If you are not the legal owner but are married to the legal owner you have a beneficial interest, but not legal ownership, in the marital home.

You aren’t deemed as ‘owning a home’ because you don’t, you just have a beneficial interest in the home that your husband owns.

If you need HB then you may need a guarantor (who owns a home) to rent through a letting agent but private landlords who rent directly to tenants may be more flexible.

So, update. We are definitely separating. I will be making a new tax credit claim tomorrow and switching the cb over to me.
We are just trying to sort out living situations before we tell the dc.
We have a small annex on the side of our house, I'm suggesting that he moves in there for 2 years, we'd be able to stay in the house and the dc would have easy access to see him. In 2 years the car would be paid off and the fixed mortgage rate would be done.
He isn't keen to as he doesn't think I'd be able to cover all the bills (even with a 'rent' from him and child maintenance) and doesn't seem why he should risk it. He is basically angling to keep all the tax credits and carry on paying all the bills.
He's missed loads of payments in the past and we are now finishing off paying a 1500 debt to the electric from where he didn't pay it for months...... I don't know why he thinks I cant keep his high standard of bill paying

As for equity, we do have a fair amount, it would be enough for me to buy a small place outright if I had all of it, obviously, that would leave him in a rubbish situation though.

You just tell him that his suggestion doesn't work. You are divorcing him for financial abuse so finances need to be separate

You will have to declare the annex rent as income unless he either continues making a contribution to the mortgage or it is maintenance above and beyond CMS which is the legal minimum anyway.

He could carry on paying the mortgage with what he would pay in rent. He would probably prefer that, then he's know it was being paid.

Make sure you check it is being paid each month!! As your name isn't on the deeds you need to register your interest in the property for your legal protection.

I'm not sure about this but if he is living in the annexe doesn't it count as him still living there technically, which would affect the housing benefit claim?

OP wouldn't get housing benefit, she's living in the marital home. She would be entitled to CTC provided they live entirely separately.

Ah okay sorry!