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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

Dating Thread 128: the one without a catchy title

999 replies

RunsforCake14 · 11/02/2018 11:15

Dating thread rules:

  1. The first rule about the dating thread is you don't talk about it with people you're dating.
  2. Develop a thick skin.
  3. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
  4. It's all BS until it actually happens.
  5. Trust your gut instinct.
  6. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
  7. You are the prize - they should be trying to impress you.
  8. If it's not fun, stop.
  9. Loo update is mandatory.
10. No dating the thread
OP posts:
RoseGoldRosie · 13/02/2018 12:46

Ta-da Grin

Also overinvested in Mr Ireland. Haven't missed it have I?

Bloodyuselessatthinkingofaname · 13/02/2018 14:35

He also said "ta-da" at the moment of de-robing

OMG am laughing so much !!! Seriously sounds like he was a bit nervous !

Original poster
RunsforCake14 · 13/02/2018 14:57

Hunhu I apologise.

OP posts:
Ginny70 · 13/02/2018 15:50

God I've laughed catching up on here this afternoon Grin - I mean, WOW, Nothing.

StM First man: total twat. Second man a trump supporter? Was that a wind-up Confused.

Love Hope you're feeling a bit better now.

Hello Peaceful!

Cover You just know that anyone who asks you to Domme him up real nice actually works for the Inland Revenue.

Kinunir Miss Intellectual seems very lethargic and you much more sparky. Go and meet someone at the champagne lounge on the way to Milan!

Rose Quinoa for Mr Skinny. That's got to make his heart melt Wink.

Hope it's not pouring in Ireland like it's pouring in southern England Vet "Is it raining? I hadn't noticed." First time I've ever referenced Andie MacDowell ... Smile

VixenSixen · 13/02/2018 16:12

Nothing- I actually laughed out loud at that one. Gawd. That must have been really awkward!

I'm having a bit of a mare over MrBytheSea. Since we have agreed that we needed to put a stop to things for my own sanity he has ramped up the gear texting and messaging me again. It's like now he's agreed that he didn't want to keep doing stuff becauae it could get complicated - almost feels like now he can't have it he wants it more.

I know the weekend before he was making all the right noises and basically admitted to me that he didn't want to get into a relationship again because he was worried About Getting hurt.

This is just going to get really messy, I can feel it. I can't resist. My head telling me one thing, my heart another.

Bloody hell.

Lovemusic33 · 13/02/2018 16:15

Rose take him for sushi or to a vegan restaurant (both healthy and equally as horrible), not really, go where you want to eat, he should accommodate your food choices.

I have been trying to juggle irons whilst being poorly which isn’t easy, I am totally confused as to who is who, having 6 irons isn’t easy. I need to try and drop a few but the one I like the most ‘Mr ideal’ is the one that’s messaging me the least, I can’t go on any dates until next week due to half term and being unwell.

lastnicknamefree · 13/02/2018 16:24

Checking in for vet update!

kin what have you decides to do? I vote tell her you are looking for a girlfriend not a pal, and cut your losses, go to Milan alone and enjoy it!!
Come back clear headed and find someone passionate and loving because that’s what you deserve!

esk1mo · 13/02/2018 16:58

lovemusic 6 ! Shock i struggle with 2.

maybe you could write a list of pros and cons for each, and give a couple the axe

Original poster
RunsforCake14 · 13/02/2018 17:03

Despite using Whatsapp for messages for the last week, Mr Dog, has just messaged me on POF saying I must have plenty of dates lined up for the rest of the week.
I can only assume he saw that I was online. I briefly went on to look at who was nearby as I been out and about somewhere new but close by today.I also looked on Match and found he'd viewed my profile on there today. I haven't replied but it just feels like he's stalking me a bit.
Now I'm not sure if I want to meet him tonight.

OP posts:
esk1mo · 13/02/2018 17:12

oh dear. id make a joke about it, such as “a lady never tells” because its not really his business. also, you dont want to pander to him and give him reassurance, because he might continue being needy.

has to be nipped in the bud IMO.

Ginny70 · 13/02/2018 17:13

Runs He sounds pretty insecure: like he's expecting to be rejected by that comment. A bit off-putting, I agree. There's one thing to even think that sort of thing to yourself, but quite another to say it to the date you're about to see - one you haven't even met yet!

RoseGoldRosie · 13/02/2018 17:17

You're not really helping with the valentine gift ideas guys Grin

sweetbabboo · 13/02/2018 17:20

Runs I'd bloody smack that down straight away! It's no business of his whether you've got a new date every night.
I initially felt quite uncomfortable talking to multiple people but soon got used to it. Having not progressed to a second date yet I'm not sure when I'd phase out other people in favour of just the one.

Kinunir · 13/02/2018 17:21

last I'm going to go with her, say nothing and not apply any pressure whatsoever - because that would be completely wrong - and see what happens. If the answer is nothing, she won't see me again after we get back.

On another note, I too am waiting patiently for the update from vet...

Original poster
RunsforCake14 · 13/02/2018 17:26

Thanks esk1mo and Ginny. I've decided I'm just going to ignore it. It's on POF so he can't know if I've read the message or not. It's not the first time he said something like that.
I'll meet him tonight and see what he's like but I suspect he might be a bit insecure or jealous.

OP posts:
CoverMeLads · 13/02/2018 17:36

Runs yup, I had that and it is REALLY offputting: I was on to catch up with a guy I wasn’t going to date (too far and we both said as much) but was enjoying sharing mutual support/horror stories with. Had mooted binning POF with MrMr but suddenly after over a week on WA he was messaging me on both as he could see I was onIine there. It did feel a bit stalky. Mr Baby (who I never dated in the end) did the same: if I didn’t reply quick enough for him on WA he’d be back messaging via the site. I really didn’t like that.

Nothing that’s simultaneously hilarious and awful.
My my most recent ex was prone, now and then, to “yowzer!”
I know. They’re an ex for a reason Wink

Kin I also think that Miss Intelligent needs to be honest about how and when things will progress. I knew I wasn’t ready with my last date at the third date (but thought I would be at some point and actually did have a potential date in mind) but by the sixth meeting I knew I wasn’t ever going to be, so I ended it. I think the (really grim) phrase is “shit or get off the pot”.
And a long weekend in Milan? You really are smitten 😍

Mum I thought the same, but most of my potential irons on POF were late 40s (and younger than me) so there is hope, honestly.

I’m loath to mention Vet’s date tonight with Mr Ireland as I’ve already come across like an utterly overinvested stalker.
(But I think it’ll be lurve at first sight and we should all buy hats Grin)

PS Love hope you’re feeling better.

CoverMeLads · 13/02/2018 17:38

Rose how long have you been seeing him, remind me? Or, rather, what’s your budget?

ValMc1 · 13/02/2018 17:42

Just had to block the first tinder contact that I allowed to WhatsApp- what a weirdo - nice photos but strange .....

Lovemusic33 · 13/02/2018 17:47

Runs that would put me off a little, I have had a few irons suggest I don’t talk to anyone else other than them and then they get funny when they see I’m online, really off putting. Though I had the opposite yesterday from Mr Bike who said he felt excited when he saw I was online looking at other men (but then it is a hook up site), made me feel a bit odd.

I think I do need some kind of spread sheet or note book. I just got sent a photo from one of my irons and I don’t find him atractive, he’s the one with a young child so he’s not ticking many box’s, which is a shame as he seems the most keen.

CoverMeLads · 13/02/2018 17:48

Val do go on.......Wink

ValMc1 · 13/02/2018 18:00

Cover - I will - his profile said he was Mays back and easy going but despite having told him several times that I had my granddaughter here tonight he still asked about 10 times if we could chat - I was polite though I told him I was going to block him before I did lol - think I'll start jotting down all these encounters - could be a bestseller lol

ValMc1 · 13/02/2018 18:01

Laid back

Kinunir · 13/02/2018 18:17

Cover this weekend really is the line in the sand as I can't continue like this. Smitten is the word - I've already booked up another trip in a couple of months with her... never been this crazy before and never will be again!!!!!!!

Val He has an extremely strange idea of what laid back means Grin

ValMc1 · 13/02/2018 18:19

Kununir - all sorts - enjoy Milan

VixenSixen · 13/02/2018 18:21

Rose: how well do you know him? I mean you could get him something small and silly or you could get something like a CD or something that is personal to when you first met or something - don't feel like you have to get him anything though!