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Original poster

Dating Thread 128: the one without a catchy title

999 replies

RunsforCake14 · 11/02/2018 11:15

Dating thread rules:

  1. The first rule about the dating thread is you don't talk about it with people you're dating.
  2. Develop a thick skin.
  3. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
  4. It's all BS until it actually happens.
  5. Trust your gut instinct.
  6. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
  7. You are the prize - they should be trying to impress you.
  8. If it's not fun, stop.
  9. Loo update is mandatory.
10. No dating the thread
OP posts:
nothing1 · 14/02/2018 00:28

Had another date tonight and it was very good. Not a "wow" to be had! I kissed him a bit and we are going to see each other again. I genuinely like this one. I just need to try really really hard not to sleep with him straight away! Does anyone else have this problem? I'm not discerning enough with who I sleep with!

Lostlily · 14/02/2018 00:29

So... I had date number 2 tonight with Mr smiley and we are going to spend the afternoon together tomorrow ‘valentines’ 😯
It was fun tonight, lots of chat and a lot more probing.... from him!
He is so not my type.... he is bald! And I’ve never gone for that and I’m still not sure if I’m honest.... but I love that he is so confident in his skin, so tall and very ‘open book’
It’s just not quite ‘sparks’ but I did wonder tonight what it would be like to have some moose burgers with him.... Hmm I am trying to be open minded about the sparks thing ... he is good company and I find him intriguing. We haven’t even had a kiss yet although he did message tonight when I got home to say he really wanted to kiss me ... date number 3 tomorrow, I think perhaps it might be first kiss day!
Exciting....

Lostlily · 14/02/2018 00:32

nothing
I’m with you in the no ‘wow’ thing. But having a nice time all the same.... how many dates do you think it’s acceptable before having sex then lol as you are telling yourself off!

ValMc1 · 14/02/2018 06:59

Ah but cover - who here has the spine tingling, heart pounding, pulse racing, captivating photo of a hairy naval? Course I'm going to swipe to see more lol

Original poster
RunsforCake14 · 14/02/2018 07:35

Vet sorry to hear it didn't work out with Mr Ireland.

Lostlily Bald and tall would be perfect for me Grin

Val the photos are bad no matter what site you're on. And then you read the profile and they clearly haven't updated it for a while - 'I'm 42...' er, no, it says you're 44.

OP posts:
Original poster
RunsforCake14 · 14/02/2018 07:41

I spent a pleasant hour with Mr Dog yesterday evening but I won't be seeing him again. We had very little in common and the conversation was difficult at times.
I talked a little about things I've done recently - cinema, meal with friends, art gallery. He commented that I seemed to be out a lot. As far as I can tell he goes to work, walks his dogs then spends the evenings watching TV. And expects the person he's dating to want to join him with the dogs and TV.
The evening ended when he told me he'd sent the message about how I must have dates every night as he said I always seem to be online. I just brushed it off with a joke that of course I had and reminded him that the apps show you as being online long after you have left.
Sadly he is way off the mark. I've no more dates and no more irons.

OP posts:
pudding21 · 14/02/2018 07:47

covermelads thanks for your words of wisdom! I do feel like the intamcy has been a bit forced iykwim. I mean I was a willing participant but it was much gaste i than I would normally go. He is quite sweet an de he has backed off a bit so lets see if he respect something my boundaries. Architect doesn't jave you lnow about him.

Architect Is everything I like in a guy and his coolness and professionalism is very sexy and equally as frustrating. Hmph. It'll Be the summer before the project I see over, I will have internally combusted by then.

pudding21 · 14/02/2018 07:50

Oh Jesus apologies for the typos yet again. My phone Is shit.

Kinunir · 14/02/2018 08:17

Well, after having flowers and a card delivered to MissIntellectual in the hotel she's staying in for work, she has actually send me a nice Valentine's text... maybe she does care after all... Shock

ValMc1 · 14/02/2018 08:26

Good new Kin

Lovemusic33 · 14/02/2018 09:04

Runs he sounds a bit boring, I’m all for the odd night cuddling in the sofa but I’m always quite busy and struggle to sit still. Hope you find some more irons soon.

Happy Valentine’s Day everyone, I have no cards and no date for tonight, on the plus side I have saved money not having to buy anything Grin.

nothing1 · 14/02/2018 09:47

lostlily the problem is I keep having sex with men I don't like thaaaat much, so I want to be a bit more discerning!

sparklyDMs · 14/02/2018 09:53

Val - close up navel photo - yuck! Confused
Was that the only pic?!
I did come across a profile that said 'looking for someone to train...' which made me shudder a bit. Then discovered I'd been super-liked by a mature couple looking for a bi-single female..must be something in my pics Hmm
Love - no cards, gifts, dates for Valentines here either - and I've given up chocolate for lent! Never been one for celebrating V day much anyway

Lostlily · 14/02/2018 10:55

nothing that’s not good.
You end up feeling rubbish about yourself.
I think after a long relationship.... virtually sexless... often we seek sexual gratification and each new encounter is exciting but it can become destructive to our self image.
I had amazing sex with the first person I dated after my divorce/split.
Truly the best two months of sex I’ve ever had... but he let me down big time and broke my heart. Trouble is.... now I’ve got that sex to compare to I’m not sure anyone else has a chance lol🙄

Stmoritz · 14/02/2018 11:13

Hey everyone. Not sure if anyone remembers but I had a couple of months thing from November-Jan with Mr A - we were really into each other and it seemed like it was going to be pretty serious but he broke it off over a minor communication issue and I was (and still am a bit, much more so than with much longer relationships I’ve had) quite broken-hearted about it. Have been feeling a bit better a month later, but he’s just sent me a Valentines message on WhatsApp with hearts and loads of kisses. Wtf is that about? It’s brought my feelings to the surface again. Please can you help me with a response? I want to know why he sent it without seeming to care too much!

ValMc1 · 14/02/2018 11:14

Sparkly - not close enough TBH! And I have seen quite a few! And they say they are looking for a serious relationship!! Getting fed up with it already and I've only been on since Friday!!!

Stmoritz · 14/02/2018 11:14

We’ve barely had any communication since we split up, vaguely talked about meeting to chat but it never happened.

Stmoritz · 14/02/2018 11:15

Val what sites are you on?

ValMc1 · 14/02/2018 11:46

St - I'm on Our Time - their pictures are ok but it is Tinder that has an awful lot of weird photos - just boring. Also registered in POF but not getting on with it.

Kinunir · 14/02/2018 11:49

I think I'm going to end things with MissIntellectual today - the thought of a weekend away with someone who doesn't care about me is not exciting me. Given I won't be able to see her in person today, what are your thoughts about ending it by phone on Valentine's Day?

Also, I saw mention of a FB site earlier in the thread but that has to be paid for. Can anyone recommend any alternatives as I need something to get this woman out of my head pronto Blush

Original poster
RunsforCake14 · 14/02/2018 11:55

No cards or flowers here. And nothing from last night's date either.
But I'm going out tonight. On my own! Bit scary but I'm going to the opening of an art exhibition I want to see.

StM he's stirring up your feelings but not following them through with action like agreeing to meet you or communicating properly. Is this what you want? Do you want him back and could you go back to how you were before it went wrong? I think you need to accept that the relationship is over. Or make him meet you to discuss how you could possibly put it back together.

OP posts:
Stmoritz · 14/02/2018 12:09

Thanks Runs I messaged back saying I was surprised to receive that considering he’d made it clear there was nothing romantic between us, and he replied saying just because there was no relationship didn’t mean there was nothing romantic... wtf?

Maybe I should just meet him and have it out.

ValMc1 · 14/02/2018 12:17

Kin - I thought you were a bit more hopeful earlier after her text. Must admit, I do find your situation strange. I normally can't wait too long to get physically close to someone I like and fancy - and I'm a nanny. What will you do about Milan? Sadly I'm busy this weekend. Seriously, you need to do what is best for you. Good luck.

CoverMeLads · 14/02/2018 12:20

StM IMO he’s angling to see if you’ll have sex with him. If you want any more than that/a proper relationship in your future I really would not reply any further, block and delete. You’ll get over it so much quicker. I can’t see what meeting to chat (about what? Picking over the carcass? Him negotiating FWB?) will achieve for you. You say you’re “broken-hearted”, I think meeting him or having any further contact will just make it worse Flowers

Kin could you not just ask unequivocally whether she sees you ever having sex? Before you end it I mean. I know it’s blunt but it will give you an answer rather than ending it without one borne out of frustration.

Runs power to you, sounds like a great night out to me, and you never know who you might meet.

lastnicknamefree · 14/02/2018 12:23

kin nooooo!
Please don’t dump her today of all days.
I appreciate and agree it’s been tough but you sent her flowers and a card, she reciprocated on the valentine theme and you felt cared for so I’m thinking this isn’t 1) not the day to end things, 2) well worth a last minute ditch attempt. I’d phone her, and have it out about the sex issue. I think there must be an underlying cause, what if she has intimacy issues? Or a past that causes her genuine problem’s? In plain English ask her why she thinks you haven’t progressed, to explain honestly what the problem is and ask her how she sees this weekend going romantically because it’s time to be open and honest, and you can’t stay in a relationship where you feel unwanted and your self esteem is taking a knock. If put it kindly and she doesn’t discuss with the honesty and frankness you deserve THEN let her go. It’s not unreasonable to ed things on that basis, just not today