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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

The house next door

253 replies

isobel79 · 06/02/2018 21:46

Ok so I have the most gorgeous neighbour. He helped me out with a kitchen appliance crisis a few months back. As a thank you I said we should do coffee.
Today was that day.
He is smart intelligent handsome and such a gentleman.
I have been admiring him since he moved in.
Anyhow I text him to say thanks for a lovely afternoon. He replied with
*
"You are very exciting, and I dont know how it could end."

What does this mean. I want it to mean one thing but it probably means something elseConfused

I may be moving at the end of this month and I won't see him Sad

What do I do I am very attracted to him.

OP posts:
Dancingfairy · 07/02/2018 12:00

He hasn't actually said he likes the op. He sent a message that didn't make any sense and could have been taken the wrong way. It might have even been for the op.

Original poster
isobel79 · 07/02/2018 12:00

Ok I know I said I wouldn't message him again but I just replied with

"Im sorry if I confused you with "fancy". It's a informal saying in English it actually means "like"

I'm done now 😰

OP posts:
SusannahL · 07/02/2018 12:03

I agree completely with Dancingfairy.

Op, you need to back off and let him do the running if he wants to. You have texted enough already.

Some on here just want a resolution to this so they are urging you on too much, and I feel you are in danger of putting him off for good, and embarrassing yourself.

Men are the hunters don't forget, despite how old fashioned that might sound these days!

Mummyoflittledragon · 07/02/2018 12:04

Well done. You’re doing fine Smile

Cricrichan · 07/02/2018 12:04

Well done op. You have every right to be yourself and speak from the heart. He definitely likes you at least as a friend, so don't worry.

Cricrichan · 07/02/2018 12:05

Susannahl - can we have some men's opinions on this? I can pretty much guarantee that any man worth having who likes a woman, won't be put off if she shows signs of interest etc.

JosieSand · 07/02/2018 12:08

Oh don't message him anymore.

Dancingfairy · 07/02/2018 12:09

I think people on here just want a bit of entertainment. He may well like you op but you have done enough and the ball is in his court now. And I actually do think men get put off if a woman acts too available/keen.

IndigoMoonFlower · 07/02/2018 12:12

Smile at him and see what happens?

SusannahL · 07/02/2018 12:13

Cricrichan, yes up to a point I agree, but there is a point at which a woman can come across as a bit desperate and needy, and I feel the OP is heading that way.

demirose87 · 07/02/2018 12:14

Think you've done enough now. You have made it clear you like him, so whatever happens next is up to him. I wouldn't text again now until he gets back to you.

Cricrichan · 07/02/2018 12:16

2 texts is hardly desperate or needy lol

Dancingfairy · 07/02/2018 12:22

The op said she fancied him and he responded in a polite but non interested way. If he wasnt sure what fancy meant and was interested I'm sure he would have asked! Her response to his original message was very desperate IMO and can't believe people actually told her to send it! You don't send a message saying you fancy someone over the phone like that, way too keen. The "where would you like it to go" suggestion was so much better.

SusannahL · 07/02/2018 12:22

Well it depends entirely on what is said in those two texts doesn't it?

Dancingfairy · 07/02/2018 12:26

It wasn't that she texted him twice it was what the two texts said. Even to message him again and say "oh btw fancy means I like incase you were confused" he didn't ask what it meant!!

greenlynx · 07/02/2018 12:27

just bear in mind that in his culture helping a neighbor with some sort of electricity issue, moving , etc is very natural. So he would behave the same would you be an elderly lady. And I would expect him prefer girlfriend from Poland not because of washing and cooking, but because it's easier to be with someone who speaks the same language and have similar background but there are a lot of "mixed" couples so ... Good luck

splatattack · 07/02/2018 12:28

I love your guys!!! Well done...you have nothing to lose...go for it!!!

LollaLaLuna · 07/02/2018 12:39

Greenlynx- helping a neighbour is a sign of good manners and politeness. Not a cultural tradition, omg.🙄

Palavapalava · 07/02/2018 12:42

Good luck op, glad you sent it x

We are all rooting for you! x

Original poster
isobel79 · 07/02/2018 12:45

Thank you I'm just gonna hold me head up high and smile and say how u doing if I bump into him. Its 2018 and if you can't tell someone you like them then what's the point but I'm done now. Thabk you to everyone for your positive comments.

OP posts:
pompodd · 07/02/2018 12:52

As a man I can defnitely say that (when I was dating!) I welcomed all and any expressions of interest!

But I really think you should stop texting him. You live next door to him and rather than go and knock on his door to speak to him you're sending texts (and then texts explaining what your texts mean!).

But then I'm really old and possibly old-fashioned.

Good luck!

Palavapalava · 07/02/2018 12:55

Indeed Isobel! Hold that head very high! Well done and you’ve nothing to lose and ever to gain. Good luck x

Vitalogy · 07/02/2018 14:01

If he's the right one for you OP, he won't mind.

Huskylover1 · 07/02/2018 15:03

He is a fully grown male. If he's romantically interested, he will do what he needs to do, to get there. And if he doesn't and he's waiting for even more green lights, well, meh, he wouldn't be the kind of guy that I would want to entertain.

PrettyBelle · 07/02/2018 15:14

You are making TOO MUCH EFFORT.

If a man wants to see you, he will make it happen.

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