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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

The house next door

253 replies

isobel79 · 06/02/2018 21:46

Ok so I have the most gorgeous neighbour. He helped me out with a kitchen appliance crisis a few months back. As a thank you I said we should do coffee.
Today was that day.
He is smart intelligent handsome and such a gentleman.
I have been admiring him since he moved in.
Anyhow I text him to say thanks for a lovely afternoon. He replied with
*
"You are very exciting, and I dont know how it could end."

What does this mean. I want it to mean one thing but it probably means something elseConfused

I may be moving at the end of this month and I won't see him Sad

What do I do I am very attracted to him.

OP posts:
Original poster
isobel79 · 07/02/2018 10:53

Ok
I'll give it an hour and reply with

"Thanks for your offer of help. Very kind. Let's do coffee again. Lets keep in touch if and when I move"

OP posts:
LittleLights · 07/02/2018 10:57

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Onecutefox · 07/02/2018 10:57

Let's do coffee. That's it. If he wants to get to know you he will try coffee first.

Snacktimonious · 07/02/2018 10:58

Just ask him for coffee again and say the rest to his face.

Dancingfairy · 07/02/2018 10:58

I think you sound really full on sorry. Of course he knows what fancy means. And if he didn't and was interested I'm sure he could look it up. Sounds like you took his original message the wrong way and IMO are coming on way too strong.

fruitbrewhaha · 07/02/2018 10:59

I think I'd reply
"Would you like to go out for a drink or a coffee?"
Not ambiguous, then you'll know. I think you need to be direct.
And there is nothing to be embarrassed or ashamed about. Give it a go, you are moving soon so won't have to see him again

Pidlan · 07/02/2018 10:59

Ooooh no don't ask him out for coffee! Your message was so straightforward that it could not be misread as anything but a come-on. He knows you fancy him now so he'll ask you out if he wants to.
I might send him a "thanks" and a smiley face but certainly nothing more...

Dancingfairy · 07/02/2018 11:00

Honestly I would ignore some of these response as I think they are just egging you on and you will end up embarrassing yourself. The ball is in his court now if he's interested he will let you know. You've made your move. Asking for a date is desperate.

twizzr · 07/02/2018 11:02

Why not ask him for help to turn over the mattress?

Onecutefox · 07/02/2018 11:02

OP, I am a bit familiar with that culture (got a friend who is now happy with an English guy). Men can be very conservative when it comes to choosing a girlfriend or a wife. They like humble women who would cook and wash for them. It's changing but it's a very strong male dominated culture. Please don't suggest any dates or anything romantic. X

Cricrichan · 07/02/2018 11:03

I can tell you as someone who speaks different languages and knows lots of non English speakers that 'fancy' isn't something that many will understand unless their English is very good. And like I told op, I did Google translate on the languages that I know and the translation didn't make sense in any of them.

So I think that it's best to write very simple messages with straightforward verbs (and not subtle) if you want him to understand, and keep most conversations face to face.

Dancingfairy · 07/02/2018 11:05

He could put fancy into google and it would come up with the definition he doesn't need to translate it in his language he must know what like means. I think some people are trying to get you to make a fool of yourself op. It's coming on way too strong.

WallaceSimpson · 07/02/2018 11:07

Is he at home? Just go knock on Grin

Dancingfairy · 07/02/2018 11:07

BRITISHinformal
feel a desire or liking for.
"do you fancy a drink?"
synonyms: wish for, want, desire; More

I'm sure he is capable of understanding that.

Original poster
isobel79 · 07/02/2018 11:19

Ok I think I need to draw a line under this so I have just replied with

"Thank you for your offering to help. That's very kind of you. Take care"

I already feel like a right plonker so I'm not digging myself into any more holes but thank you to EVERYONE for your suggestions and advice

OP posts:
Onecutefox · 07/02/2018 11:29

Well done OP. That's a good answer but please when you see him outside behave in a friendly neighbourly way. I mean, he shouldn't think it bothers you. If he is interested he will think of something. You definitely thought he was interested in you otherwise you wouldn't have sent that text. Was he flirting with you? It could be just a bit too soon for him.

Onecutefox · 07/02/2018 11:31

So freaked out. Basic English, the house isn't ready to invite a lady, not in shape Wink

Onecutefox · 07/02/2018 11:32

I am so annoyed it's not possible to edit messages on Mumsnet! Why?!

Palavapalava · 07/02/2018 11:33

Isobel, that seems such a shame. You find him attractive and his initial message to you seemed very much to me (and others) to mean the same. I’m sure it’s just a language barrier and that he doesn’t understand what fancy meant on your last message. He might have thought you weren’t interested so has backed off. I really believe it has muddied the water a bit.

If you really like him and will kick yourself if you leave it (sounds like you already are), then take him up on his offer to help. Nothing is lost. He might be feeling exactly the same as you! - he messaged you and put it out there.... then got something back he couldn’t make sense of so has backed off thinking you might not reciprocate his feelings.

You said you might be moving so there are loads of opportunities for him to ‘help’ there. You could have a clear out today/tomorrow (😉) and pop over to see if he could do with a toaster etc as you’ve found when going through your things that you have two etc....

Find something for him to help with, then offer him coffee (out or at yours) to say thank you x

Palavapalava · 07/02/2018 11:35

.....if it goes belly up (really don’t think it will), then you are moving anyway. Nothing to lose. Be brave! ☺️ X

Wtfdoicare · 07/02/2018 11:38

I don't think it is clear that he is uninterested! Find something for him to help with, then suggest an evening drink or two to say Thank you.

Dancingfairy · 07/02/2018 11:38

There's being brave then there's being desperate. I wonder how many people telling you to ask him out on a date would actually do it themselves if they were in the situation. Hmm

Palavapalava · 07/02/2018 11:43

Dancing, it’s not desperate. Op and her neighbour have both indicated they are interested in the other but language seems to have got in the way.

Find something for him to help with! x

Boatsonthewater · 07/02/2018 11:51

I think he just didn't understand your message. If I were you I would knock on his door and ask him if he'd like to come round for dinner one evening. If he looks embarrassed and makes excuses, you will know he isn't interested.

luckiestgirl · 07/02/2018 11:52

Oh I hope he replies with something that opens it up again. I’m hoping he just misunderstood your ‘fancy you’ message.

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