Is anyone else just 'done with men' or dating/relationships?

[RedHareWithBlondeHair]

I think I'm just over it tbh. I can't express it fully enough.
The initial rush of feelings, then the abandonment. I just don't want any of this anymore. And what when you have children? Fuck all of it.

As a single parent, I don’t have the time or inclination for a relationship

My dh is a wonderful man, and we are very happy, but if he died, I would not seek out another relationship because I don't think I would ever be so lucky twice. If the marriage ended, it would prove I wasn't so lucky after all, so why bother putting myself through that again? I get a lot more out of my marriage than many women I know, but I've been in miserable relationships before. Why sacrifice your independence, peace and security for a mediocre substitute?

I felt like this after 8 years with my ex, then met someone else. I was really closed off and cautious initially, 2 years later it’s started to lose the shine and I find myself thinking ‘yep, that’s why I said I wouldn’t do this again!’
Me and DS would be alright on our own.

Men disgust me and everything they do i feel all they do is still a woman youth and make us bitter

I'm 3 months on from a very bad break up and I'm currently sworn off having another relationship. I am happy in my own company, have a good circle of friends and great relationship with my children. I moved into my new house in December and love having everything how I want it and not having to think of the manchild's needs. It is very liberating!

I was single for 14yrs when my DS was growing up, perfectly happy.
DS moved away with work and I met someone online. 18mths later I'm sat wondering why on earth I bothered- Not the longest relationship, but after deciding I wanted to dip my toes in the water again, only to have them bitten off by a shark, has been a massive learning curve
. the last 4 mths since we split up have been awful...I won't be doing that again - ever.

freedom, independence

I think we are sold a lot of worries around being single that aren't really valid.

Done with dating too. Only thing i miss is the sex. I am only 36 but can't and won't put myself through the emotional roller caster and rejection i have experienced from dating sites ever again.

I deeply regret online dating and wish i never did it.

🙋🏼‍♀️ Me!!!

I know deep down I prefer being on my own. I love not having drama, doing what I want to do and when I want to. I was ill recently and I was able to relax on the sofa under a blanky rather than being moaned at.

I just enjoy a peaceful, happy life and a bonus is a beautiful clean and tidy house. I know some people manage to achieve this in a relationship and trust me I’ve tried but it never works.

My DS is of the canine variety but I’m quite happy not having any human children. Although if it did happen I would embrace it.

I’m happy and feel the most “me” being single.

Although I wouldn’t mind a regular FWB that could fix any intimacy cravings but not have any impact on my life.

Yep. I can't see where a man or relationship would fit into my life.

Me too. Very happily single. Can't imagine wanting anyone on that level again

I was single for 7 years and then persuaded to start on line dating. My second date seemed perfect. Shared background, shared real life connections. Exciting trip abroad. But has ended up as irregular FWB.

2 others. Clearly affected by porn.

Only now I have opened myself up to feelings of intimacy and sexual desire again. How do I reseal the doors and get back to just being me again?

My mum left my dad and never had a nother relationship, my Dsis lives alone with the odd FWB coming into, and out, of her life. I'm with my DH but if we finish I will stand alone. Think the females in our family are too independent!

This thread is amazing! It's giving me inspiration to be single again! I was so happy single lol

Me! Totally defeated, bitter as hell. 2 marriages, plenty of relationships, I've never really had a good one. It's dawning on me now. There's something fundamentally wrong with me and I'm just not relationship material. Can't take it anymore. I can't have more angst, heartbreak and pain. So there!!! Single and now by choice and for good.

I read somewhere that the happiest men were married ones. The happiest women were single ones

Yup I think so. A relationship maybe but not living together. I keep my space, my independence, everything the way i like it, no compromise.

Seems an impossible task to meet men that are mentally strong enough, not whiny, not controlling, selfish, drinkers, hobby obsessed etc. None of it matters if you don't live with them.

Queen which is exactly why we have been brought up to believe that we have to be in a relationship with a man.

I felt like this after the end of my marriage and was single for 5 years. Then met a man and tumbled head over heels for him, he moved in etc etc. He left between Christmas and New Year and I'm only now coming up for air. I totally lost myself for him and was living with a high level of anxiety. He treated me badly and I allowed him to.
I feel like the real me when I'm single. I just need to not be swept up by the hormones when someone new comes along.

I'm been doing OLD for years on and off.
But now I just can't imagine getting into a serious relationship with anyone.
I think you just know deep down that it's all a waste of time.
I get envious sometimes when I hear people meet the love of their lives.
But I'm just doomed to be single.

I'm feeling a this way too. I'm nearly 39 and I don't think I've ever been truly liked let alone loved by a man in the romantic sense. I know there are good men out there but perhaps it's a fact that good men are in the minority. Not saying women are perfect- but men generally tend to treat women in worse ways then women treat them. This is just my perspective.

And with the explosion in OLD, treating women as disposable objects seems more commonplace and certainly happens more frequently than it did so in the past. Nowadays, you can get weekly dates which increases your chances of weekly upsets. Whereas before OLD we may not have dated as much. So I'm giving OLD a miss. Concentrating on following my life's passion rather than seeking passion from a man.

@unique1986 It is natural to feel envious people being with the love of their lives, but they are rare! And even those relationships come with their ups and downs. I have only a few friends in long term marriages who are happy but, most in my circle of friends (between 25 - 60+ years old) are either single or in a troubled relationship they just put up with. I know which one I would prefer to be in and having just come out of a relationship of nearly 10 years with someone who I thought was my soulmate in the beginning...believe me it wasn't all hearts and roses. In time he changed...porn addiction, laziness, no ambition, no adventure...totally immature. Yes, he had an affair in the end and it was hurtful to be betrayed, but I am 100% better off without him. The OW is welcome to him, as although he will be showing his 'best side' at the moment, he will eventually reveal the true side of himself in the end. I know that it has tarred my expectations of meeting someone else now and it will have to be someone exceptional, but I truly am happier on my own now.

I wouldn't see being single as 'doom'. Enjoy it for what it is as relationships aren't all that!

@Eternallycurious I think you are right. Good men are in the minority, but they are out there. There are just so many other facets to dating these days and you hit a point with women being seen as disposable objects, but I don't think that has changed from decades ago. I remember my mother going on lots of 'blind dates' being set up with men by her friends...this was the 1970s. She was man obsessed after she divorced my dad when I was 6 years old and I lost count of the times she was 'engaged' to someone. I was a nosy little sod and would find letters in her bed side table from men. Dating back then was all done through newspaper adverts, but my mother went on dates most weekends. She even took us (3 children) on a date with some fucking nutter who then bombarded her with letters about wanting her to join a nudist commune he belonged to. It definitely had an affect on my outlook/suspicion of men from a very early age. But yes, I would say OLD has helped ramp up the disposable nature of relationships, but nothing much has changed since the day of placing ads in a newspaper.

I have been on my own for 8 years now apart from a couple of flings. I have been on old for years and am never contacted by any one who I am vaguely attracted to, I think I am like stale bread now. In that time I have enjoyed bringing my children up on my own and would never have considered moving any man in or involving them in our lives. At times I have pangs of wanting to have someone who looks out for me and really cares for me, just being close to someone. However I have always known I would never want to live with any one again as I enjoy doing my own thing. Most of my friends appear to be in not so happy relationships, although my sister is very happily married going on 35 years, so it can happen. Reading some of the horror stories on here also makes me grateful that I am on my own.