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Original poster

am i so wrong for wanting my parents to babysit?? opinions please

139 replies

lovemybed · 29/04/2007 20:23

will try and make this short, i am a 25 year old mum of 2 gorgeous dds age 5 and 3, have been married for 6 years. dont have anything to do with in laws (very long story)

im very protective of my girls and only really trust my parents with them when i go out for the night BUT it seems to be a total battle to get them to babysit, they love the girls to bits and are fantastic with them make a effort to see them every weekend and are forever boasting about them to friends etc, but they dont seem to be up for the babysitting bit.

my parents are still pretty young and enjoy a good social life but not to the point where they could not babysit from time to time as well.

i have a 20 year old sister who is totally useless and my big brother who antatic with girls and always willing to babysit has just moved 400 miles away.

just so people dont think i am exagerating i have worked out that they have babysit at the very most twice a year since dd1 came along.

i feel that this is starting to have a effect on me and dh cause we never get a night out together its either me with my friends or him with his, people will think we dont like each other when really we are desperate to spend some time together as a couple.

i cant ask friends to have them over night cause dd1 has some allergies that triggers her asthma and because my friends have young children of there own its not really practical for them to come to me.

to top all this of my husband is in the forces and spends a lot of time away from home so i feel like i never get a second of.

i know some people will call me a selfish cow and say that they are my children and i should watch them but i do this 365 days a year surley a night of every couple of months would not make me the worlds worst mum.

sorry this has just turned into a very long rant but i have just missed a very good night out (yet again) and its still playing on my mind

OP posts:
unknownrebelbang · 29/04/2007 21:21

Grandparents can't win can they?

They're either interfering or not doing enough.

Twinklemegan · 29/04/2007 21:21

Having said that though, if your parents really don't want to babysit LMD you're probably best off finding someone else. Good luck.

fireflyfairy2 · 29/04/2007 21:22

Oh really.

Would you want someone there, against their will babysitting?

I know I wouldn't.

TBH I wouldn't even ask them, knowing they never say yes.

Anyway, this isn't an argument, I am simply giving an opinion, which was asked for.

Don't you think when your kids leave home you might want a bit of me time with your dh? Without kids? I know I for one can't wait

misdee · 29/04/2007 21:22

let me weep for you

mytwopenceworth · 29/04/2007 21:23

well. SCREW THIS.

ask for opinions and you get them. polite ones too but OH NO, unless its

your parents are being horrible you are soooooo right in fact its the LAW that they babysit, then its not a 'constructive opinion'

well fyi, its also contructive to advise someone that they cant make someone fall into line and should make alternative arrangements.

and 'opinions please' in the title implies you are open to hear ideas.

GOD it makes me MAAAAAAAD

Twinklemegan · 29/04/2007 21:24

I think we x-posted fireflyfairy as I did acknowledge that point. But it sounds like LMD's parents have loads of "me" time - she's only talking about occasional babysitting, not full-time childcare!

Original poster
lovemybed · 29/04/2007 21:25

oh dear someone really has been offended

OP posts:
unknownrebelbang · 29/04/2007 21:26

Might have something to do with that statement.

Twinklemegan · 29/04/2007 21:26

MTPW - I think LMD WAS thanking people for their opinions - I don't think she was being sarky.

Original poster
lovemybed · 29/04/2007 21:27

yes was thanking people

OP posts:
mytwopenceworth · 29/04/2007 21:28

yeah. i am pissed off actually. you know, folks try to help, offer perspectives, its up to you if you agree or not, that's not the point. but thanks for the constructive opinions, i knew some people would go the other way... bloody rude. you asked for opinions you know.

Twinklemegan · 29/04/2007 21:29

MTPW - you have misinterpreted LMD's post.

Twiglett · 29/04/2007 21:31

Twinklemegan .. because they're not the grandparents children .. grandparents don't need to do anything they don't want .. and it makes one sound rather spoilt and precocious to be offended that they won't babysit .. they simply don't want to and that is their right

as my parents said to my sisters (18 years before I had my first child) "We've raised our children, these are yours, we are not unpaid babysitters so don't expect us to be"

there are many people with experience of asthma .. why don't you ask around friends to see if anyone's aware and see if you can do a reciprocal arrangement .. it sounds rather like an excuse to me

fireflyfairy2 · 29/04/2007 21:34

FWIW, my parents have 18 grandkids so if they had to babysit for each one of us as often as we might like, they would never have any free time

OTOH, DH's parents just have our 2 & love seeing them. Lately they have had them an hour most days so that I can get out a walk without a 5yr old moaning about sore legs!

Also, both of mine have asthma. It's worse in the winter months so you should get a babysitter now & have some fun in the summer months, less chance of a bad attack

Twinklemegan · 29/04/2007 21:35

In my family we help each other out, that's all. But I do agree that if they have to be forced into babysitting it's probably best that they don't. I'll stop inflaming things now LMB - hope you find a solution.

squidette · 29/04/2007 21:37

I don't think you are wrong for wanting your parents to babysit.

I think it is self-defeating to expect them to do so, however.

I really can't remember being given an 'entitlement' to a night off when i became a mother. I think i must have left it in the Bounty Bag...

Twiglett · 29/04/2007 21:37

you're lucky then .. but it isn't a 'right' as such .. its a choice

fireflyfairy2 · 29/04/2007 21:38

We help each other out in my family too.

I have 4 sisters that can babysit & one that lives very close, as a matter of fact we have eachothers children most of the time, if she visits her dd stays here until later, same as mine when we visit her.

I also have 2 neices that babysit for me. One is 23 the other is 15. The 23 yr old will babysit if we're going to be very late. The 15yr old if we are for the local cinema.

I am the second youngest & have paid my dues in babysitting over the years, I am making sure I get paid back now though

pucca · 29/04/2007 21:39

Lovemybed...You could be me

Almost exact same situation i have just learnt to accept it will never happen and look forward to when my dc are older then i will pay a babysitter, atm i feel they are too little to be left with someone i don't know very well.

Original poster
lovemybed · 29/04/2007 21:39

thank you tm, i do think if i could leave them for the first time with someone else it would get easier after that, but money is also a bit tight so that would also but a negitive having to pay a babysitter, perhaps swapping babysitting duties with a friend would be the best option if we could manage to work something out between us. i do still think that my parents should be a bit more helpful though

OP posts:
fireflyfairy2 · 29/04/2007 21:41

Are your kids the only grandchildren LMB?

Original poster
lovemybed · 29/04/2007 21:41

pucca your not central belt scotland are you, we could maybe be babysitting buddys

OP posts:
pucca · 29/04/2007 21:41

Aah sorry, i live in Lancs otherwise we could be

Original poster
lovemybed · 29/04/2007 21:42

yes the only 2 that they have, and they dote on them in every other way.

OP posts:
Original poster
lovemybed · 29/04/2007 21:42

oh well was worth a try

OP posts: