Partner with views that I find disgusting

[NewYearNewStart2018]

Basically I have been with my partner over a year, there are things that I am starting to think seriously about, they hold views that I deem disgusting basically.
It came to a head this weekend as we were driving past a group of women in religious headwear, and they made shooting motions through the car window, I said what the fuck are you doing? To which the reply was “well that’s what they do to us” I answered “no, those particular people have done no such thing” their answer “well people from their background do” I just can’t get over how someone can be so ignorant and judgmental. There’s been occasions where some much milder things have come up and not just relating to race. These things have crept up and weren’t apparent at the beginning of the relationship.
This is a dealbreaker isn’t it? It’s actually made me feel quite disgusted towards my partner.

New - she’s inflamed already because you broke up with her.

Police will be able to do more if she turns up again if you have clearly warned her further contact would be harassment.

42?!??!! Wow that is extremely immature x

Also, police would be able to go and have a word before she turns up if she keeps messaging after you have warned her.

roomsonfire - I don’t agree that sexuality is necessarily more measurable or factual than gender identity. And I also understand that gender identity does not indicate sexual preference. It was simply an analogy.

Re cis - people not wanting to be labelled in a way they don’t identify/want is ridiculous/transphobic when the label in use is cis but totally legitimate discrimination when the label is a gender they don’t identify with... Does. Not. Make. Sense.

She’s blocked.

Fingers crossed 🤞🏻

Why don’t you stop derailing and go discuss cis etc somewhere else?

Good job OP. Stay safe. You don’t owe her a relationship or any of your time. The relationship is over. She doesn’t get anymore of you now.

Do you have an issue with being called ‘heterosexual’ if you are attracted to the opposite gender? Because to say the word ‘cis’ doesn’t need to exist is like saying the term ‘heterosexual’ doesn’t. Which would infer that you’re either gay or normal. Now THAT’s offensive.

It's not the same at all. Someone being gay doesn't change someone else's identity as hetrosexual. It's not buying into an ideology, it's just stating a preference.

Someone splitting women into transwomen and ciswomen implies that:

a. transwomen are a subset of women rather than men. Given that self-ID is set to come in, where people who are male-bodied and who have no desire to get rid of their penis or beard etc, will be able to declare their gender is "woman" simply by filling out a form, with no criteria AT ALL other than they want to be called a woman, this is a contentious statement.

b. if transwomen and ciswomen disagree about a whole range of things, the transwoman's voice should be heard over the cis woman's (this is because the notion of trans ideology comes hand in hand with the idea of cis-privilege, and that those least privileged should be given the platform.).

NewYearNewStart2018 well done

My ex used to wheedle his way back into my life by just turning up and cajoling his way back in. The police were a real help in the end. Please don't be shy to call them if you need them.

I owe her over £200 which I will pay back on Tuesday by bank transfer. So no further contact needed. Done and I feel lighter already :)

That sounds very wise, no need to her to have any hold over you then .

I dumped someone because they thought it was okay to leave a horrible mess at the cinema because 'otherwise the cleaners wouldn't have jobs'.
People who treat other people like crap, even if they're nice to you, are not nice people.

@raisinsarenottheonlyfruit you don't hear blokes complaining about being called cis men. We need to stop acting like transgender issues are only women's issues. I personally don't get the outrage.

Oh gosh, you are well rid. I used to hitch-hike through the USA and often got lifts from truck-drivers. They were invariably gentlemen with me (I am extremely white), but would make shooting actions at blacks they saw by the side of the road. It was hard enough being with them for the few hours of the lift, let alone being in a relationship with someone like that. It ended up getting to me so much I stopped hitch-hiking.

@angelf1sh where is the transphobia on this thread?
Please could you or @fastfrank explain.

Well done op, you feeling lighter already shows it was the right thing for you.

@Helmetbymidnight I didn't say this thread or the comments within we're transphobic, I said transphobia is rife on mumsnet, which it is.

• were

Ah good, so you don't agree with angelf1sh.
It looked like you did.

Yeah, reading back, it really looked like you did.
How funny.

How are you doing this morning @NewYearNewStart2018? I hope everything is still okay.

She sounds as awful as her views. You are well rid op.

@Helmetbymidnight it's hilarious isn't it

Totally! No surprises @angelf1sh hasn't come back to defend her accusation, eh!

You'd have to be really stupid to call people transphobes just because they reject the word cis or because they don't think men with penises are women, wouldn't you!