Cometh the Hour Cometh the Lollipop!

[lollipop7]

Oh my word......
Thread number three.

It is a ludicrous but somehow apt title.

Once again Thank You for keeping the faith. You won’t ever know how much you’ve all come to mean to me. If I write a book it will be dedicated to
My lollipop babies
My mum
You lot ❤️

Not much to report tonight but as “Battling On” hit 980 I have created thread three to chart the highs and many many lows so far.

Monday could bring good or very bad news. I’m fortifying myself with a rhubarb & ginger gin with clementine tonic.

So onwards I go. As I must.

I'm so, so sorry this is happening lolli. I really wish you and your children so much happiness and I hope this man rots knowing his family are happy without him.
You're doing so well, I know I would've given up already. I hope someone soon sees all the bullshit he's put you all through.

What an utter simpleton the social worker is, can you request someone else?

You should put an official complaint about your social worker.

I’m not doing well at all.
I can’t sleep, I’ve got mastitis I’m physically sick with worry. Last night I felt so dreadful my mother nearly called an ambulance, I was hysterical and had some sort of panic attack.

I can’t do it anymore all this fighting and being so terrified
He’s going to be in front of me on Thursday and I have never felt so afraid.

I have soent ten minutes typing this I’m shaking so much

Breathe. Walk away from the tech. Step outside, look at some trees or green things.

Visualise a colour that makes you feel calm, and one that makes you stressed. Breathe in (nose if you can) with the calm colour, breathe out fully (blowing) with the stress colour.

DO you remember that you’ve felt this way before. You’ve posted that you felt completely overwhelmed and unable to cope and you’ve wanted to give up.

You have enough experience now to know that it’s ok to feel this way and that you’ve always got through it and your position has improved afterwards. I’ve pointed this out myself that this is a pattern for you and you’d need to remember it to get you through when it happens in future. It’s hapening again now.

In the meantime you can do some little coping strategies but you will not only get through this but your life will continue on its upwards trajectory.

Lollipop, these exercises have really helped me feel better when I'm at my most anxious:

self-compassion.org/category/exercises/

They've been far more helpful than medication, to be honest. Some of them only take five minutes, and they leave me feeling almost blissful. I hope they help you.

If it helps there are lots of us here cheering you on.

I’m sorry I know I must sound pathetic. I’m just so frightened.

Of course. That's not pathetic.

Not pathetic at all lollipop, I’m sure we’d all be terrified in the same situation. Is your solicitor on board?

Good advice on calming breathing from MrsBB, give it a go

Pathetic? FFS lollipop you been through so such there’s no way your fear are pathetic.

You’re a strong woman but even strong women can feel overwhelmed at times. It’s not pethetic, it’s not weak, it’s entirely understandable and means you need to regroup.

You’re one hell of a woman lollipop whatever you may think

We're here to listen.

Pathetic??? Not bloody remotely. I hope the fucker gets hit by a bus before then I really do. Are you on a course of antibiotics for your mastitis? It can make you really ill and feverish which won't be helping remotely.

You are miles away from being pathetic, Lollipop. MILES away. You're magnificent, that's what you are.

Just keep repeating to yourself, "I'm good. I can do this." You'll be fine.

(((Hug)) you can and you will! You have a good solicitor, he’s being watched in court remember. Lots of love and make sure you get the mastitis treated. Lots of fluids and lots of feeding xxx

You are so not pathetic. Look back on how far you have come. You are allowed to feel like this. It's been an enormous change in your life. Then dealing with someone who is all about himself must be so draining.

Go to the GP for the mastitis and maybe they can help with some techniques to stay calm xxx

You are not pathetic. You are incredible.

You've been living in some kind of weird horror film and you are fighting to get out of it and you will.

Ask for a second social workers opinion, or ask for her supervisor. If she really won't listen then approach the hcpc and request they look into her professional conduct.

www.hcpc-uk.org

You've got so much on your plate it's little wonder you are feeling so anxious and unwell, let alone adding a new baby into the equation. Don't be so hard on yourself.

You are not pathetic in any way , crikey you have had to deal with more things in the last year than many in a lifetime. You are a strong determined, loving mum who does the best for your children despite the horrendous pressure you have been put under. Treat yourself with the kindness that you extend to others.

Unfortunately the legal system especially with regards to domestic violence/abuse and orders for the welfare of children is as the saying goes 'an ass". it defies logic and natural justice. However, having a shit hot legal team, strength and belief that everything you do is with your children's interest being of paramount importance . You need decent humane reports and for these to be presented to a judge who can listen and read ! I fervently hope you get a break and things start going your way.

You are definitely not pathetic!
You are incredibly strong but you’re just having to deal with a mountain of shit right now.
You will claw your way to the top of that shit mountain and then you will have a life away from that fucker with your little lollipops.
Your strength and determination is an inspiration to me and many others I am sure.
KOKO

How are you feeling now Lollipop? Been thinking of you.

Thank you all for thinking of me.
I’m not in a very good place now, but I am trying to keep going.
I got a good sleep last night -and got some antibiotics for the mastitis, - which helped but it took an hour to leave my little boy at nursery today. He wouldn’t let me go. I don’t know what will happen if he gets contact.

I am running out of hope.

Good news is that baby lollipop is ten weeks old today and utterly delightful. He’s feeding well and that’s helping with the pain in my breast. He’s babbling away and has a winning smile.

I think I need some anti anxiety medication as I am struggling. I also daren’t even email the social worker as I think she hates me. I sat in my car tonight and cried for ten minutes before going inside as I am afraid of the effect it has on my mum and the children.

Sorry I’m rambling and am all over the place.

Post edited by MNHQ

Don't bash me for saying this but your hormones won't be helping you either, you will be all over the place with them every day you get through is another victory for you and your children ❤️

You’re right I know that.
I only had a baby ten weeks ago. I’ve never been allowed to heal mentally or physically. I’m exhausted, and resentful that the precious early days with my baby have been snatched away from me by this total shit.

My little boy has begged me tonight not to let Daddy take him. It’s the worst feeling in the world 😓

This time tomorrow I think I will need sedating