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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Dilemma on this weird Tinder situation

482 replies

Tyrianstoe · 13/01/2018 17:34

Had to nickname change as I'm a regular and to be fair I'm embarrassed. Split up with my ex 2 weeks ago (his fault, broke my trust) and in a fit of anger and suspicion set up a Tinder account on Thursday night to see if he's on there as that's where we met. Anyway, was swiping through and I saw this lovely looking guy who had a very funny profile that mentioned a very obscure band that I love so swiped guiltily right. Don't know why I feel bad because my ex is a lying arsehole, but I'm aware it's too soon. This guy messaged me! So I said 'I like that band loads, nobody has heard of them' and we swapped messages. Then I thought I'm being a bit of a dick here so I deleted my Tinder but said if he wanted to message me off there he could and gave him my number. Thinking he wouldn't.

He found me on WhatsApp. He was telling me about his little boy who is going for an assessment for a disability, I write the assessments as a job so he was asking me what to expect. Then, this is where it gets weird...he asks me where I come from. Told him. He's from the same town. Not too weird. So asks where I live now, I live in another town not far away. He moved to my town 5 days ago. This morning he mentioned he lived opposite an emergency services station. So do I. He told me the name of his street. My house looks onto that street! I can see his house from mine.

So I do t know whether this is just too bizarre and I stop messaging him but...I don't want to! He seems sound. He doesn't use any words on my banned list, is retraining to do a job I'd love to do, likes the same music, doesn't put xxx on anything, doesn't use lol and doesn't call me Hun/babe Grin I'm mad aren't I? This has got big fat rebound all over it. But my interest is piqued. Slap me with a wet fish!

OP posts:
HipNewName · 16/01/2018 05:16

I've nothing to add, I'm just marking my place so I can find the update!

Hope your date is lovely. Wink

MoNigheanDonn · 16/01/2018 09:46

Ooooh so excited for you op!

Mirrormirrorotw · 16/01/2018 10:14

Hope it goes well - it is all quite a coincidence but sometimes these things happen.

I wasn't expecting my OH to walk into my life when he did which was at the worst possible time in many respects (my life was several levels below rock bottom - literally completely imploded) and if I had posted about it here in relationships I'm fairly certain a lot would have said it was completely the wrong time, but I went with my gut and am so glad I did. I've had a lifetime of arseholes - it's wonderful to be in an adult relationship where communication and respect are a feature.

Mirrormirrorotw · 16/01/2018 10:26

Oh and as for wierd coincidences my OH works in the public sector, a field where we could have easily met (and very nearly did) on a professional basis which would have meant we couldn't date (and I'm incredibly surprised he didn't run when he found out exactly how involved with services in his profession I was at the time) As it turns out though it was a positive thing...wierd coincidences happen all the time

Sugarpiehoneyeye · 16/01/2018 11:00

Loving this thread ! 😄
Some things are meant to be, you're going in with your eyes wide open, you've got this, you'll be alright.
If you both walk out at the same time, that will be hilarious.😂
Don't over think it, go and have a great time, lucky you !
❤️ More ginger love here, especially with a matching beard.

SmashyCup · 16/01/2018 12:33

The big day has arrived OP!

Tyrianstoe · 16/01/2018 12:42

smashy aaaargggh!

OP posts:
Tyrianstoe · 16/01/2018 13:07

He said when he talks to me he feels like he has to google stuff. That's not good is it? I need some accessible topics...

OP posts:
TheSassyAssassin · 16/01/2018 14:02

Just be yourself. Don't overthink it. Chat about local area. Where's good to go and child friendly for him and his DC etc. Marvel over the weird coincidences. Chat about your favourite band. But above all be you. You both need to find out whether you like each other and whether that's as friends or something more and being you will help him decide. Go with an open mind. Smile. And enjoy! Here endeth the lesson Grin

LittleLights · 16/01/2018 14:08

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

gustofwind · 16/01/2018 14:29

Enjoy OP, enjoy. No more overthinking! That's an order Grin

londonista · 16/01/2018 14:34

Steer clear of Brexit as a subject. Ultimate mood hoover.
voice of experience...

ClareB83 · 16/01/2018 14:37

Avoid Politics in general on a first date. And your dating history.

Courtneygainxx · 16/01/2018 14:56

Absolutely love this...

After being in a relationship for so long and having 2 children together, this makes me realise there's no excitement in my relationship anymore haha.

Wish you all the best tonight! Keep us all posted!! Grin

Tyrianstoe · 16/01/2018 17:09

It's snowing really heavily and my coldsore still hasn't fully gone (it's a red mark not a scab) I'm going to cancel. The snow is too bad Confused nithingtodowithnerves

OP posts:
TheSassyAssassin · 16/01/2018 17:11

Woah...he only lives a few doors down and you can walk somewhere...come on, you can do this! Don't let nerves hold you back! Carpe Diem lady!

ClareB83 · 16/01/2018 17:16

Don't your dare cancel.

Tyrianstoe · 16/01/2018 17:18

I just sent him a message saying I look like I've been in a fight...and left it up to him Sad

OP posts:
GottadoitGottadoit · 16/01/2018 17:19

It’s totally normal to want to cancel a first date.

ClareB83 · 16/01/2018 17:20

Bad OP. Just get ready for your date, stop trying to wriggle out of fun.

Shhhhhh2018 · 16/01/2018 17:21

@Tyrianstoe don't you dare let us down! Ginger love must conquer all!

Get your knickers on and get out the house!

Tyrianstoe · 16/01/2018 17:26

He's saying that I'm being daft and he doesn't care if I look like Rocky Grin

OP posts:
Tyrianstoe · 16/01/2018 17:28

It's back on!

OP posts:
TheSassyAssassin · 16/01/2018 17:28

Look he's seen you far worse at 1am in the morn hasn't he? Shove some make-up on, get into that new dress of yours and relax. You can always keep it a bit shorter so you both get home safely in the snow. You've been v excited about him and you know you have a lot in common and it doesn't have to be more than a friendly drink but you won't know unless you try! So yes Bridget Jones big girl pants on and out you go! need to take own advice and try OLD again but that's a whole other thread Smile

TheSassyAssassin · 16/01/2018 17:31

Good! Or I would kick you off your own thread! Grin Seriously though, been where you are and it's daunting starting over but nothing to lose by the sounds of it and hopefully a lot to gain! x