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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Dilemma on this weird Tinder situation

482 replies

Tyrianstoe · 13/01/2018 17:34

Had to nickname change as I'm a regular and to be fair I'm embarrassed. Split up with my ex 2 weeks ago (his fault, broke my trust) and in a fit of anger and suspicion set up a Tinder account on Thursday night to see if he's on there as that's where we met. Anyway, was swiping through and I saw this lovely looking guy who had a very funny profile that mentioned a very obscure band that I love so swiped guiltily right. Don't know why I feel bad because my ex is a lying arsehole, but I'm aware it's too soon. This guy messaged me! So I said 'I like that band loads, nobody has heard of them' and we swapped messages. Then I thought I'm being a bit of a dick here so I deleted my Tinder but said if he wanted to message me off there he could and gave him my number. Thinking he wouldn't.

He found me on WhatsApp. He was telling me about his little boy who is going for an assessment for a disability, I write the assessments as a job so he was asking me what to expect. Then, this is where it gets weird...he asks me where I come from. Told him. He's from the same town. Not too weird. So asks where I live now, I live in another town not far away. He moved to my town 5 days ago. This morning he mentioned he lived opposite an emergency services station. So do I. He told me the name of his street. My house looks onto that street! I can see his house from mine.

So I do t know whether this is just too bizarre and I stop messaging him but...I don't want to! He seems sound. He doesn't use any words on my banned list, is retraining to do a job I'd love to do, likes the same music, doesn't put xxx on anything, doesn't use lol and doesn't call me Hun/babe Grin I'm mad aren't I? This has got big fat rebound all over it. But my interest is piqued. Slap me with a wet fish!

OP posts:
QuizteamBleakley · 15/01/2018 14:57

Shameless placemark ready for date night tomorrow. Cheeky schoolnight bantz. Grin Good luck OP!

OldPony · 15/01/2018 15:24

Excellent thread, I have been missing Mortal and Rumpled!

It sounds great so far. Good luck!

Tyrianstoe · 15/01/2018 16:09

I'm having a bit of crisis of confidence about it. Is it really a good idea to go on a date with a complete stranger? I've only been single for 3 weeks.

He runs too. He's a runner. If I ran for more than 5 minutes I would die. And when I'm nervous (which I already am now and it's over 24 hours away FFS) I talk too much and I'll end up talking shit about which is the happiest profession and action potential of neurotransmitters Confused

OP posts:
Lovemusic33 · 15/01/2018 16:20

Go for it.

I started dating after a few weeks of leaving my ex, I don’t regret it. Meeting strangers is scary but as long as your meeting in a public place all should be fine. If you don’t meet him you will always wonder ‘what if’. And don’t worry about the running thing, I go to the gym every day but I don’t expect my date to be fit or a gym bunny.

pudding21 · 15/01/2018 16:24

Go for it. Sounds like you've told him your circumstances, so if you freak out after meeting him, a simple " i dont think i am ready" should suffice!

Have fun!

Tyrianstoe · 15/01/2018 16:31

We haven't even got a firm plan. He asked me, I said okay, then after the doorstep wine/roll up debacle he said he asked if I still want to do Tuesday because he does, I said yes. That was the last time it was mentioned Confused (again)

OP posts:
nutnerk · 15/01/2018 16:35

It sounds lovely! and even if you do just end up as friends, then thats still a huge bonus - you've found someone with similar likes and had a great distraction from your break up.

He sounds keen so just text saying 'still on for tomorrow?'

mamahanji · 15/01/2018 16:45

Go for it. I happen to find verbal diarrhoea attractive. He might too! Wink

ClareB83 · 15/01/2018 16:46

You live so close to each other you don't need a firm plan til tomorrow. It'll be somewhere local after work. Just wait and see.

Tyrianstoe · 15/01/2018 19:53

He's just messaged asking if I'm still up for a beer and saying he's nervous Smile

OP posts:
TheSassyAssassin · 15/01/2018 19:55

I have good feelings about tomorrow night ❤🤞😊

ClareB83 · 15/01/2018 20:00

Me too.

Adrift17 · 15/01/2018 20:13

Trying to think of something helpful to say but I've got nothing. I'm literally just here to mark my place cos I love this thread!

Tyrianstoe · 15/01/2018 20:17

I bought a new dress! and some new knickers

OP posts:
londonista · 15/01/2018 20:18

OP don't forget to do the thing where when he's speaking flick your eyes from his eyes to his mouth and back again. Doesn't matter what you say before or after doing that, he'll know you're interested!! 😂

londonista · 15/01/2018 20:18

Minx!

Tyrianstoe · 15/01/2018 20:22

The knickers are just to hold in my stomach though. They are granny knickers Grin

OP posts:
londonista · 15/01/2018 20:26

Ah the Bridget Jones dilemma...

Tyrianstoe · 15/01/2018 20:30

We are meeting in a bar that is about a 3 minute walk from our house. I'm totally overthinking how awkward it will be if we both walk out of our front door at the same time.

OP posts:
EscapingAdultLife · 15/01/2018 20:35

I want to know the band... I've read the entire thread hoping to find out the name of the band!! Oh and yes... go for it. Have some fun. Enjoy your beer and a night out even if it does end up as just friends!!

littlepinkgiraffe · 15/01/2018 20:46

This thread is amazing OP.

Have fun tomorrow night. I don't think it will be awkward at all, you have so much in common that you will have plenty to talk about. Everyone starts out as strangers, that's what dating and getting to know each other is for.

Ratbagcatbag · 15/01/2018 20:48

Awwwww. I hope it goes well. This gives me hope after a rough few months.

juddyrockingcloggs · 15/01/2018 22:02

I love his thread and I love gingers but then I am one!

SparklyMagpie · 15/01/2018 22:24

Aww haha good luck tomorrow OP!

I'm always a bit cautious but be careful,although I'm sure you'll have a great night :)

LittleLights · 16/01/2018 00:20

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.