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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Dilemma on this weird Tinder situation

482 replies

Tyrianstoe · 13/01/2018 17:34

Had to nickname change as I'm a regular and to be fair I'm embarrassed. Split up with my ex 2 weeks ago (his fault, broke my trust) and in a fit of anger and suspicion set up a Tinder account on Thursday night to see if he's on there as that's where we met. Anyway, was swiping through and I saw this lovely looking guy who had a very funny profile that mentioned a very obscure band that I love so swiped guiltily right. Don't know why I feel bad because my ex is a lying arsehole, but I'm aware it's too soon. This guy messaged me! So I said 'I like that band loads, nobody has heard of them' and we swapped messages. Then I thought I'm being a bit of a dick here so I deleted my Tinder but said if he wanted to message me off there he could and gave him my number. Thinking he wouldn't.

He found me on WhatsApp. He was telling me about his little boy who is going for an assessment for a disability, I write the assessments as a job so he was asking me what to expect. Then, this is where it gets weird...he asks me where I come from. Told him. He's from the same town. Not too weird. So asks where I live now, I live in another town not far away. He moved to my town 5 days ago. This morning he mentioned he lived opposite an emergency services station. So do I. He told me the name of his street. My house looks onto that street! I can see his house from mine.

So I do t know whether this is just too bizarre and I stop messaging him but...I don't want to! He seems sound. He doesn't use any words on my banned list, is retraining to do a job I'd love to do, likes the same music, doesn't put xxx on anything, doesn't use lol and doesn't call me Hun/babe Grin I'm mad aren't I? This has got big fat rebound all over it. But my interest is piqued. Slap me with a wet fish!

OP posts:
Kentnurse2015 · 13/01/2018 20:37

Erm I am obviously in the minority’s screaming that it is a coincidence too many and to step back slightly. Reading your OP makes me want to scream ‘stop’!

LionelMessy · 13/01/2018 20:38

sounds like fate. go for that midweek drink

but when walking home, wont one of you suss which house is who'se?

Kentnurse2015 · 13/01/2018 20:38

(And I met my DH online but many years ago!)

yulefool · 13/01/2018 20:41

Tyrian, I could have written your list too. good luck!

walkingdowntheboulevard · 13/01/2018 20:50

Wow is all I can say, amazing coincidences, fate or whatever! Please keep us informed!

ClareB83 · 13/01/2018 20:50

Don't forget to reply to him OP with a specific day! Get it booked in. Woo first dates!

DarkPeakScouter · 13/01/2018 21:00

Wow sounds great!

Tyrianstoe · 13/01/2018 21:04

lionel I'll have to go in the back way.

kentnurse I will be straight on here if it's some kind of weird stalkers thing. But I can't see it. He seems as bemused as me tbh. He might get freaked and pull out anyway Confused

reup yes! And people who go 'yeah yeah yeah yeah but...' when they don't agree with your point.

OP posts:
LittleLights · 13/01/2018 21:08

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

dontticklethetoad · 13/01/2018 21:18

Honestly, this thread is really exciting.
I'm sad, middle aged and married. I need to get my thrills somewhere Grin

Fintress · 13/01/2018 21:20

Be very careful. My best friend has a rebound boyfriend after divorcing her arsehole ex.

She married himsmilesmile and he is lovely!

That’s what happened to me too Smile

DriggleDraggle · 13/01/2018 21:24

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

MsJuniper · 13/01/2018 21:25

Good banned words list.

I married my rebound fling - very happy 15 years later!

Tyrianstoe · 13/01/2018 21:26

Oh I just messed up a bit..,

So I messaged him saying 'I'm child free on Tuesday or next weekend'

Then I thought 'that sounds desperate and like I don't have plans. So I text him again saying 'apart from Sat' because I have gut a booze lunch planned with ex workmates. So he replied with 'Tuesday?' and I said 'sounds good, I haven't been on a first date in over two years' aaaaarrrgh.

Why did I call it a first date? It sounds presumptuous. He hasn't replied yet. He's on a night out so I'm quite surprised he has been replying.

OP posts:
user1497997754 · 13/01/2018 21:26

Hope it goes really well.....

Figrollsnotfatrolls · 13/01/2018 21:30

I met a man in a bar in the nearest town who lived in my village!! Had fed horses in a field opposite his house for months with with dc and never seen him!! Shopped where he worked!! Shared a taxi home that night and never had a single night apart since!! Over 5 years ago, married with a ds now!! Strange things happen op!! Best of luck!!

DriggleDraggle · 13/01/2018 21:31

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

buckeejit · 13/01/2018 21:34

Ooh, meet him

Tyrianstoe · 13/01/2018 21:36

I love all these stories of weird circumstances and rebounds that worked out.

OP posts:
Tyrianstoe · 13/01/2018 21:43

Aww, he replied! Saying we are not strangers we are neighbours who 'chat' (because he knows chat is on the list Grin)

OP posts:
SmashyCup · 13/01/2018 22:03

DH and I eventually figured out that there were several times we'd crossed paths before we met. Coincidences are the source of most opportunities!

Good luck OP! And please add the dreaded "banter" to your list. Uugh.

DontDIY · 13/01/2018 22:10

And “lush”

Look forward to your updates!

user1471538348 · 13/01/2018 22:20

My wonderful DP and I met on line - I was deeply cynical about the whole process.... Turns out that we had at least five (quite different) mutual friends/connections. We could have met/been introduced so many times! In fact most people assume we were. Hope it all goes well for you OP!!!

Princesspinkgirl · 13/01/2018 22:32

Well when my marriage was in tatters by coincidence i stumbled across a new man online were 2 years in the relationship now so happy days go have fun

Blahdeblah123 · 13/01/2018 22:38

Serendipity......

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