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Relationships

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Original poster

Article in Guardian about black men not dating black women

137 replies

CharizMa · 13/01/2018 14:20

Sorry cant link on my phone but i thought it was interesting and sad that yet again men hold all the power in dsting. Im white in ireland so im not dating black men or any men at all as the ones who message me are all so much older and look like lifers and send messages that dont win u over. I guess im just saying that i cant imagine what it must be like for it to be WORSE than it is. Why do men get to do all the choosing?

OP posts:

NurseButtercup · 14/01/2018 20:36

my friends DH....said a single woman in her late 30s/40s...should be prepared to go for a man 50+ and preferably with kids.

Errrrrrrrr no thanks! That's a bit cheeky, shuffling all the infertile women off to sit and patiently wait for the old curmudgeon's. bleurgh

There are still plenty of single men in their 30's and 40's who either don't want kids or they've got kids and don't want anymore.

MistressDeeCee · 14/01/2018 21:13

my friends DH....said a single woman in her late 30s/40s...should be prepared to go for a man 50+ and preferably with kids

Im convinced these articles are written by delusional wishful thinkers. Older entitled men who want younger women and are vying to compete with men in their 30/40s for them. Say something for long enough and it somehow becomes a truth.

In reality I only know of 1 relationship where the man is 35 years older. His wife left him as he went very quickly from being lively and outgoing, to Mr pipe & slippers (Im not saying all elders are like that) and he also became controlling around her still wanting to have hobbies etc

This was years ago now and he's in ill-health and in a Home, as far as I know. She's pregnant and in a LTR with someone else her own age.

If more women would sit still and think about the reality of life we would realise that we are the choosers, ultimately. Patriarchal society is set up so as to see men as the elusive prize we have to compete for. The internet pushes that myth.

SandyY2K · 14/01/2018 22:03

There are still plenty of single men in their 30's and 40's who either don't want kids or they've got kids and don't want anymore

This is a different case. I did say if he hasn't got kids or wants them.

One of my brothers is on his second marriage. He has DC from his first marriage and sadly his wife hasn't been able to conceive.

She was 39 when they married.

He's okay with it.....because he has DC...so her not having any isn't an issue for him. He wouldn't have married her if he didnt have kids already.

Im convinced these articles are written by delusional wishful thinkers.

Not an article. A conversation.

Older men ( especially wealthy ones) can get a younger woman easily. Why do you think the sugarbabies websites exist. Younger women will go for a rich older guy and the rich older man knows it

He can get a pyt and a lady closer to his age.

But then money talks in all quarters.

c3pu · 14/01/2018 22:14

But then money talks in all quarters

That's true. Women laugh at me for being ugly until they find out how much money I earn.

Then they laugh at me for being ugly and poor.

Original poster

CharizMa · 14/01/2018 22:27

lol! I like you. But you wouldn't date me. i'm too old!

OP posts:

MistressDeeCee · 14/01/2018 22:47

SandyY2K I didn't say older men can't get younger women. I know that of course they can..but not without money.

Aged 50+ non-homeowner without a good lifestyle and pension in no way has the same chances as an obviously well-heeled 50+ year old. Behind all the "well I prefer older men because" is stone cold cash AFAIK

Most people can get anything they want if they pay for it thats where the "get" comes in

AlmondPearls · 14/01/2018 23:04

Mistress

It may partly be due to money. I don't see why it can't simply be attraction though? I found David Suchet's Poirot very attractive when I was in primary school, and that was certainly not about how much money I thought he might have()

SandyY2K · 14/01/2018 23:15

SandyY2K I didn't say older men can't get younger women. I know that of course they can..but not without money.

If you read a fair few if DH is having an affair on MN .. it's younger women and I don't always think they are particularly wealthy...just doing okay in some cases.

You see an older man knows he's very lucky to get a young woman... so will often treat her very well... with adoration.

Be strives to impress her sexually and in other ways...because she could leave to be with a guy her age.

I recall a guy telling me (his younger pretty) wife was a high cheat risk... but he thought it was worth it anyway.... and she did cheat on him with a younger guy .. but he was okay with it.... in fact he was turned on by it.

He said he knew he couldn't keep up with her and invited her OM over for a chat. She was in heaven with this new arrangement.

MistressDeeCee · 14/01/2018 23:28

SandyY2K yes that is what I meant which is why I didn't mention "wealthy"

OH is 63 good looking still active (Im younger than him but no spring chicken..!) we socialise quite a bit. He does get hit on by younger women, mostly aged 30s/40s which took me aback at first but I know that it happens with friends who have older partners.

After all if he is older..and can get a younger woman..then he must have alot going for him musn't he..maybe thats the mindset

I still maintain that a broke older man is mostly dead in the water when it comes to getting a younger woman

You see an older man knows he's very lucky to get a young woman... so will often treat her very well... with adoration

I know a couple of older men who have openly said this. They don't mind the cheating risk in fact they expect it, as long as she comes back to them its ok.

They don't mind paying for a "trophy". It others on the outside looking in who likely think "wow he is mad to put up with that". But, he knows what he is putting up with. & why.

Buck3t · 15/01/2018 06:46

Fascinating mistress. Of course someone is always going to know someone who bucks the trend. I know someone who has been with her partner for about 6 years. he's 50 next year she's 31. He has less than nothing (she earns more than him) they have a beautiful young DC. He has an adult child from a previous relationship.

He is curmudgeonly. She's always complaining but she must like something about.

Original poster

CharizMa · 15/01/2018 19:25

I think that is true of so many men.
They are only capable of treating a woman well if they know she could just as easily do better than them. Whether that is because she is beautiful, young, charismatic or a combination of some/all

OP posts:

Buck3t · 15/01/2018 22:40

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

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