Article in Guardian about black men not dating black women

[CharizMa]

Sorry cant link on my phone but i thought it was interesting and sad that yet again men hold all the power in dsting. Im white in ireland so im not dating black men or any men at all as the ones who message me are all so much older and look like lifers and send messages that dont win u over. I guess im just saying that i cant imagine what it must be like for it to be WORSE than it is. Why do men get to do all the choosing?

I am a white woman married to a black man. I really don’t care who is with who so long as they are happy. But I agree there are still some who do not accept interracial relationships.

who're = white.

Not sure where that crazy typo came from

Meera Syal reported the same thing with Indian men - dating white women.

I think it's about status.

If anything I would say that when I look around, the black men I've seen with white women tend to be at the lower end of the social economic scale.

This is my observation too, but I didn't want to cause offence.

In my UK hometown...some men in my dad's generation or a bit older really... thought having a white wife was it...in fact all these women were not so much lower socio economic status... but all had visible learning difficulties and weren't fully functioning adults.

This was just in area and is by no means true of all cases.

Dating a white woman is not about status. When will white people get off their high horses and stop thinking they are some sort of special race. Alot of black men i know (I'm not black by the way) do find black women attractive due to there bodies, big booties, full lips but find that black women are too picky.
Too be honest , the black men I have seen with white women, the women tend to look like 'vicky pollard'.

There's a whole lot of fetish's involving other races. It's not new. It's a preference. Like I prefer men with dark hair, and won't date younger than me.

Oh come on, it's black women's fault for being 'too picky'.
So men dont have to date anybody they dont want to date, but that courtesy isnt extended to women who are "too picky".

I was fearful of causing offence too @SandyY2K as it is certainly not my intention.

Interesting observation

Being picky is not a 'fault'. Black men most definitely do find black women attractive in my experience. However there are alot of white women that love black men and do not find white men attractive. Nothing to do with status.

Sorry but I hate the arrogance of white people and this is coming from someone with part white heritage

If anything I would say that when I look around, the black men I've seen with white women tend to be at the lower end of the social economic scale.

I've also noticed this.

Lovely sweeping statements - low end of the social economic scale/Vicky pollard.
No judgement there then

No judgement just observation. That is all I can go by.

There are a lot men of all races, black men included, who would be a white woman until the subject of marriage crops up and then would actually marry someone of their own race. I wonder what the marriage rates are for straight black / black vs black / white marriages. My guess is more black men marry black women than white women.

@MrsSk don't take it so personally. There is no malice intended. I said it was in no way a statistical fact and merely based on what I have seen around me.

No-one is saying in any way that you and your black husband fit that profile. Of course it is not everyone. Not even the majority (none of us know the majority of any group), just some we have known.

the fact that in this day and age discussions regarding interracial relationships are even being discussed is a bit ridiculous. Does is really matter and I guess if you are not or have never been in an interracial relationship it would be hard to appreciate that this should draw no more attention than any other relationship.

As for being offended not at all just think it is rather a stupid point of view. How many interracial couples do you know vs those of the same race. That’s like saying all younger women marry older men for their money....I know some broke older men!

whatslife, that's my point, being picky isn't a fault.

It's just something I've noticed aswell. All the black women I know who are with white men are married, own their houses, wealthy. Where as all the white women I know with black men are not married, don't live with their partners and the partners are broke/don't have stable jobs/ unemployed. It's something I can't help but notice. Not saying that's the case for everyone. Just my experience.

@MrsSk I am in an interracial marriage. I also know many other couples who are. Not just black and white couples but from all ethnicities.

I specifically said it was based on what I have seen around me and not on any statistics. It is not like saying "all young woman/old man couples are like xyz." Because I never said ALL. I said "tend to" in my experience and observation.

By not appearing to take on board and carefully read what I have written, you are the one who appears "stupid". Or is it just that we have hit a nerve because you fit the negative stereotype?

I'm mixed race (white/black), as is my partner. We have discussed this in the past, but I really do think that a lot of black men view white women/light-skinned women as a token or some kind of status symbol. Very often those sorts of men are deeply ashamed of their blackness. I believe that a racist society has shaped this view for lots of black men and women, who seem to subconsciously want to wipe out their black heritage, and fetishise mixed race kids.

@ElliePhillips stupid not at all. I see that you are a black women married to white man, perhaps that is why you see what’s you want to. I am sure you have seen many interracial couples if they all fit your experience perhaps you need to make your world bigger. As for stereotype....not that it is any of your business my husband and I run our own successful business have a house with no mortgage and a beautiful 9 month old son.
Making the type of statement you did whether it is based on your “tend to” experience or not, incredibly judgemental. Who are you to feed a negative stereotype do you know exactly how everyone else lives. Are you the benchmark for how others should look because unless you know exactly how other people live your “tend to” opinion is judgemental in my opinion.

One thing in the interracial cuckold fetish though...is a lot of white women are happy to have a black lover while married to a white man ... but would not marry a black man.

So perhaps for some ..they still see it as a not so good thing...but love the perceived taboo if it.

In many of the same cases...it's been the white husbands desire to see his wife being intimate with a black man that started off that lifestyle.

It's quite an eye opener tbh. I struggle to understand the desire to be submissive and humiliated...which the husbands crave from the black men.

Because the white race think they are the bees knees and that they are epitome of everything fabulous they assume if a black man is dating a white woman it is because they see a white woman as a status symbol. Whereas when a white man is dating a black woman or someone that is non white it is because they cannot 'pull a white woman'.

Also white people are so unfamiliar with hearing negative generalised stereotypes about them in the frequent manner that other ethnicities are that one casual, anecdotal, observation sends them into a spluttering tailspin. As seen above.