I'm a bit all over the place with it to be honest. The actual sexting itself I'm up and down with. I feel bad about it but I don't think I feel as bad as I would if he was actually shagging her. I'd like him to stop and I need to speak to him about it, realistically. I'm sort of thinking of it along the lines or porn. He chats to her when he's horny, has a wank and goes to bed.
I'm more upset about the personal stuff he's discussed with her. He's sent her a picture of me. Also she is the one that says he's been trapped by me, she's asked if he's even sure that it's his baby! He did defend me when she said that.
She does seem to be the one who is doing all the trying. She texts him first and he doesn't always reply. She's sent him pictures of herself undressed, he hasn't sent her any of himself like that. I think I'd like to read the whole thread but I'm not sure how I could or if it would be a really bad idea. I've only got snippets, really. I read for a few hours over night.
I've also only told you the "bad" stuff that he's done whilst leaving out the "bad" stuff that I've done (as well as the stuff he's said that wasn't "bad"). For example I think I was probably the one at fault for starting the affair in the first place. I flirted with him because I never dreamed that a gorgeous, younger, married man would be interested and I didn't think I'd let anything happen. I didn't think I was that silly. I thought it was all harmless until it wasn't by which time it was too late. He also told me he loved me and wanted to be with me before I found out I was pregnant but I wasn't sure... I know all this makes me look like the worst kind of human which is why I didn't say it before now.
My husband and I were comfortable rather than happy. We'd been through quite a few ups and downs with trying for a baby of our own and being unable to have one (for some years - which is why I couldn't just abort this one) and I was afraid to leave him or to make the "wrong decision" and regret it later on or to basically end up in the situation that I'm in now (I am very aware of how awful and selfish this makes me sound but I'm saying it in the interest of honesty).
He does text this other woman telling her that he loves me as well as the bad stuff he's said and he's told her that nothing will happen between them in real life which she accepts but sometimes seems bitter about. As I have said this appears to have been going on for months so I feel if he was going to meet her he would have done so by how. I think the stuff about him wishing he could fuck her is heat of the moment, horny talk. Surely if he really wanted to meet her he would have done? I'd be unlikely to know.
He obviously thinks this is acceptable behaviour rather than cheating because if he thought it was as bad as cheating surely he would just have met her and "properly" cheated?
I think we are both very open minded. He had threesomes with his ex and he does have a very high sex drive. He'd like to try "new" things with me when I'm not pregnant... Sex is a very important part of his (and our) lives. I mean, perhaps he really hasn't considered that this is actually not great behaviour? The timing is just awful...
I was 41 this month, he's 30 next month. This is both of ours first child.