The Brave Babes Battle Bus - New year, old battles, big resolve

[SweetLathyrus]

Hi, I'm SweetLathyrus, Sweet for short, and I've been on and off Gerald the Brave Babes Battle Bus for years, so this time it's me standing in for our wonderful Mouse to invite you on board.

The bus is a place of support, safety and occasional silliness for those of us struggling with our relationship with alcohol. Some of us are sober, some are trying to be, some are moderating and aren't ready to give up alcohol just yet.

So whatever your reason for questioning the whys and WTFs of your drinking, hop on board, make yourselves comfortable and join in.

If you want to see what it's like, here's the link to the last thread, the one that saw us through Christmas.

And if you want to know how it all started, here is the link to JWN's original, inspiring thread.

Join us on our journey, you won't regret it.

Razor
Sorry to hear about your dad

Hello. First time climbing aboard here. I’ve been reading on and off since the first ever post and always loved the warmth, humour and judgement free zone that is this lovey old bus.

I’m on Day 67 AF here. I’d got to a point of knowing I was drinking too regularly and too much and I was bored of it. Bored of the guilt, the pointlessness of it (what good is a great night out if you can’t remember it?!) and the anxiety. Oh god, the anxiety.

So I stopped. Quite frankly I’m amazed at how many days I’ve done. I was definitely a heavy drinker and I may well drink again. I may not. One day at a time but I’d like to see if I can reset my relationship with booze. If I can, cracking. If I can’t, well, we had some good times! But the bad started to outweigh them...

I am loving being AF. My skin! The weight loss! The reduction in anxiety! The lack of bloating! The sleep! The reduction in anxiety! The energy! And the reduction in anxiety! So so so good.

Pity I got my sweet tooth back though 🙄!

Hello to all you other BB’s and RazorBoy, I’m so sorry for your loss

Razor what an awful situation to be in. I can't imagine it.

Welcome Grumpy and Single. So impressed with everyone who's managed prolonged periods AF . I've completed day 3 today. It's bedtime now.

Trust I've considered NowTV but it'd be another monthly subscription - we already have Netflix. I borrowed my friends SkyGo app to watch season 7 GoT. I think I'm just old fashioned and want the dvds because I can keep them forever. DS had a meltdown a few months ago when they took Thomas off Netflix. Does NowTV work the same?Where shows only stay on for so long?

Any hoo....... I was just wondering who has possession if the Smock if Smug at present? As I was rather hoping for a quick twirl if I may...I've clocked up my 51st alcohol free day today and I'm pleased in a low- key January kind of way! This is the longest I have gone without alcohol ( wine/ prosecco/ g&t's) for about 2 years. I did dry January once but by easter I was drinking in full flow. I know I can't moderate and after year I barely even tried. But the old "good health" fairy keeps flitting by and putting the fear of God into me that the amount of alcohol I was drinking ( easily bottle a night 4 nights out of 7...sometimes more) was definite not conducive to me living to be a healthy old age without some alcoholic health calamity befalling me. I'm 42 and my 3 beautiful ds''s are still fairly young. In a nutshell I want to be live as long as possible! I've got to my forties and suddenly good health seems fragile....I know of lots if cases of cancer in people my age. I stupidly know that regular alcohol increases all risks but have been drinking steadily and regularly for best part of 20 years. I've had my head in the sand/ up my are ( take your pick) and have simply NOT been thinking of it. Stupid me. I've known for some time that my drinking habits were question able ...I enjoy tried to cut down lots and lots and not been able to. So I've just carried on regardless. I've felt for a few years that the only way to reduce the alcohol I drink would be to stop. I'm very much an all or nothing person. So I've just selfishly carried on with "all". Well now I'm finally doing "nothing"!!!!!!! And guess what bus mates - it's bloody working!!!!!!!!! Cravings have stopped. I'm no longer HAVING to have a diet ginger ale in the wine glass at 6pm just so if looks like I'm having a drink. Yay! Go me but it got me through those first horrible days and first couple of weeks and that's all that matters. I managed Christmas ( a time i find really really hard) with no wine! Incredible! I'm getting through my depression with a bit more clarity. Marvelous. My skin looks zingy and I'm not actually a personal who really ever notices that kind of thing (shattered mum and 3 kids.. thought my face was supposed to look like that) but appears to have improved a bit just in the 50 days. Sleeping better -again apart from 2 non sleeping children and musical beds most nights -but that's normal compared to 3 am waking up dying of thirst with a banging head and not being able ever get back to sleep. My house is tidier (no more 3rd glass of wine to knock me to sleep before kitchen is tidy) . Wine tummy shrunk but Christmas food kind if added to the extra padding again ....but I can sort that. I already feel ahead of myself as January is usually spent thinking howe I'm gonna cracking the wine habit once and for all and already I'm 51 days up. I know it's gonna be a long road ("forever"is a long way). But I'm determined to do this for me and for my boys. For my health. For my mental well being. Also for my marriage and my husband but don't tell him i said that..

Sorry...didn't want to risk losing the post again lol. Anyway...sorry for epic rambling.. I just wanted to encourage any one out there either on the bus, looking at the bus with an urge to get on or anyone running to the stop all out of breath thinking "fuck I've missed it I'm too late".........just want to encourage you all and say You can do it. You can make a change IF you really want to. It's not easy at first. It will seem impossible Le and the easiest thing to do would be to think fuck it it's too hard and just carry on. But one day you might get to 20 years down the line and think where did it go? Do it now ladies.... You ABSOLUTELY CAN......

Big, big, big love and peace to all xxxx

This bus and the ladies on it ROCK X

Blessed the skin thing is great, isn’t it! And I’ve loved waking up hangover free. I might be tired sometimes but knowing it’s not alcohol related gives me such pleasure. I wasn’t drinking every day but wine / G&T’s were my ‘friends’ (albeit toxic ones...) and I was definitely drinking to excess when I drank (weekends / Saturday night mainly but 1.5 bottles plus a few large G&T’s).

If it’s any use to anyone, I downloaded Drink Less app. It’s a bit of a blunt tool but I’ve found it satisfying to see the days rack up. And it was free!

razor I’m new on the bus but sorry to hear about your dad.
forever you should definitely be wearing the smug smock, that’s amazing what your done. I wish I can get passed day 7 then I shall be proud to wear the smug smock (maybe next week )

Goodnight babes and catch up tomorrow. Really hope I have more get up and go than today x

@Razorboy I am so very sorry for your loss x

hi all just clocking in. Fridays and sometimes thursday are my wobble days. i am still on holiday so dont know if that is good or bad....

Welcome single and thank you.

67 days is inspiring and wow! I can't wait to feel better and dump the guilt and stress and anxiety. I am aiming for dry Jan and further, I may aim for completely teetotal if I can. The WW does not help me and she lies.

Thanks also to grumpy and the babes on previous page that I can't see

Hello (and good night) to everyone - I posted quickly this morning to make myself do it before I gave myself a get-out clause.

Razor I am very sorry for your loss. That sounds like a terrible situation.

I have succeeded in not drinking today, actually my third AF day over the holidays (unheard of!) but the first not triggered following a scary even for me binge the day before. I have been reading and nodding my head in recognition at other people's experiences with drinking. Very familiar.

One thing I realised today was about my relationship with alcohol. I too was in an abusive relationship (with DS2's dad) and I clung on to it and him for so long because the fantasy of the perfect life seemed just beyond my fingertips. The idea of us. We could be so happy if just this small matter (of him being an abusive fuckwit ) could be sorted. I desperately wanted to believe that he could change, that things could be different. I realise it's the same. I keep thinking 'today will be different, alcohol could make me so happy/feel amazing if I could just moderate it, other people can do it so I am sure I will be able to today'. That fantasy, that lie that I have wanted so desperately to believe. But it is a lie, I know it is a lie, and not wanting it to be true or minimising the extent of my over-drinking won't change the facts. I need to write this down so I can read it and be reminded, maybe daily.

and to everyone on the bus.

apologies to all...my posts were written kne after the other and before I'd seen all the recent posts.

razor so sorry you have had such a shock with losing your dad suddenly. We are all here for you. Well done my lovely for just keeping going. Hard times ......one day the rawness will pass and you will wale up and be slightly less in the centre of the storm. Thinking if you.
ginger thinking of you too my lovely...I am finding the clarity and reality of situations and relationships wihout the fog of alcohol pretty difficult too.... I also have 3 children and have to get to the 9th of Jan before they are back to school routine. I'm more than ready for hem to go back now but feel like a horrid mummy for saying it. I'm not actually horrid I'm just worn down and shattered and doing the best I can . As I'm sure you are too. Glad you enjoyed your 2 glasses of red - that's amazing that you did not want to lob the rest of the bottle down your neck -I so would have done that. So we'll done..... xxx

Razor so sorry for your loss - this must be such a difficult time for you.

rosegold - congratulations on your AF day - hope to see you around!

blessed - you sound so boingy - am pleased it is still there 51 days in!

I almost cracked tonight (only day 2) - I was fine all evening until change of child pick up plans pushed dinner awry and then dinner didn't work so had to cobble together a hybrid. It was only for DH and I so didn't matter that we were eating late but I was in 'fuck it' mood and almost reached for a glass of wine... But I had some more sparkling water and it subsided. Am now sat with a horlicks and almost ready for bed...

Apella I can relate to this not being able to remember what you have said as several times I have forgotten things I have said/promises I have made. Do you remember anything that may have triggered the outburst or what might have been said? By the way I also know that when people realise that you can’t remember stuff they add their own bits on to make it seem even worse. I know this because I accidentally recorded a whole evening once (forgot to turn my phone video off after taking a video of an event) 😂

Blessed And Venus I found your posts very inspiring and helpful

Baking it wasn’t me that mentioned NowTV. Sorry I know that we have it as well as skygo, Netflix, amazon prime, Fire TV but I actually have no idea how they work or why we need them all. Just know that every time I try and cancel one somebody in my house says it is essential.
Trying well done on 2 days out of 3. I expect you will feel so much better today. I am getting over my NYE blowout at last so this weekend will be crunch time for me. I think we can both do this day 3 AF today!
Twattage I remember when I first started drinking it used to be Pils and lime or cider and I don’t think that it ever affected me in the way that wine does. I had forgotten this. I don’t know how I got so hooked on the wine so I will definitely give the bottled beer a try after I prove to myself that I can do DJ. You have really helped me with this insight.
Thank you everybody for the posts on this thread. It is really helping to focus my my mind.

razor I'm so sorry. Keep posting.

bee congratulations!!! Xx

Morning all - day 5 dawns and I am finally starting to see a change in my face (less puffy). 9 hours of sleep to report...feeling much better.

I need to jump in the shower but just wanted to say morning babes and bearettes.

Razor - very sorry to hear about your dad. Be kind to yourself.

blessed - amazing progress - a lot of what you say resonates with me. I am also 42. No kids fortunately to keep me awake at night (one naughty ginger cat).

trust - super happy I have been of help...other than last year, when for me I've been drinking on too many days (although my husband hasn't really even noticed as my behaviour isn't bad), I feel I found my moderation point and there was no stressing about it with beers...anyway, you can park it for now until you've done DJ :). I have another friend who has also done the same thing as me - never gone back to wine after a period of total abstinence.

I am out out tonight - had totally forgotten I'm going to the ballet with my BF (she won't be bothered I'm not drinking). So just need to make a plan for the 5-7.30pm period before it starts. Will do that shortly.

Have a good day lovely people. x

Razorboy
I'm so sorry you are going through this horrible time. Try and take care of yourself
Thanks Margie32 it's his first step and now he understands why I flipped at him on Christmas Day.

Can I join please?

I’m a coeliac so my socialising drinks of choice are wine and gin. And I can never just have one. I drink perhaps 2-3x per week in moderation but then i’ll Go out with friends and end up binging. Just getting over a 2 day hangover at the moment I neeed to take back control.

Going to attempt dry January but have to admit I feel daunted by the prospect - drinking is a big part of my social life - not because my friends pressure me - they’d be supportive, but I actually enjoy the ‘buzz’ which worries me.

Have downloaded Allen Carrr’s easy way. Hope that and the bus can give me the willpower I need

Morning babes,

blessed that’s a great post but you forgot to mention the shed load of money you’ve saved by not drinking. Booze costs stupid amounts and is just empty calories. I can’t remember who but one of the babes who has been sober for years shared how much she had saved financially and it was thousands.

Well done everyone just for reading or following or posting , all of these things chip away at that ‘must have a drink’ mentality.

Right , well I got bored of the hot beaches and decided to head Niorth. Iceland - we can sit in some kind of outdoor hot spring thingy and all the booze is too pricey so we’re not having any (fuck off WW)

After that i’m Handing the keys over to a responsible driver. Not ma obviously.

Apologies Trust. I think it may have been Trying who mentioned it. I'm sure it was a T name. Can't even blame alcohol!

Welcome Vet The bus is good for support

Hope everyone's feeling ok today. I slept well but didn't want to get up. I'm taking DS for vaccinations this morning. I'd really rather not. Going to try not to buy any cans at the shop when I pass.

razorboy i’m Sorry for your loss. We’re all here to hold your hand and you can honestly say anything you need to, at anytime. X

vetierinari welcome.

Morning everyone - day four begins.
I'm so sorry for your loss Razor. My dad died years ago from a particularly quick and horrid cancer more than 20years ado but I still miss him.
Plans for today include not throttling the teenage daughter who is being full-on extra teenager at the minute (roll on school on Monday!) and not drinking. Ambitious, hey?