The Brave Babes Battle Bus - New year, old battles, big resolve

[SweetLathyrus]

Hi, I'm SweetLathyrus, Sweet for short, and I've been on and off Gerald the Brave Babes Battle Bus for years, so this time it's me standing in for our wonderful Mouse to invite you on board.

The bus is a place of support, safety and occasional silliness for those of us struggling with our relationship with alcohol. Some of us are sober, some are trying to be, some are moderating and aren't ready to give up alcohol just yet.

So whatever your reason for questioning the whys and WTFs of your drinking, hop on board, make yourselves comfortable and join in.

If you want to see what it's like, here's the link to the last thread, the one that saw us through Christmas.

And if you want to know how it all started, here is the link to JWN's original, inspiring thread.

Join us on our journey, you won't regret it.

Morning All, gosh I missed a lot last night!

Razor, so sorry for your loss, the lack of closure must be awful.

Ginger, it's ok, it's a blip, make today 3/4, more positive than day one again.

Blessed you should be celebrating, and shouting about it. It's inspirational for those of us dragging our carcasses through the early stages. You too, Single. Whatever, getting past your 'bogey' day will be a super achievement, every day after that will be super shiny.

Welcome, Vet*.

Rose your abusive relationship analogy was so insightful, I'm going to hold on to that one.

Twattage, I run the scenario through in my head before I go out, and practice saying "I'll have a lime and soda please" I keep saying it to myself silently as I walk up to the bar so it's the first thing out of my mouth. What ballet are you seeing? I have tickets for Matthew Bourne's new Cinderella next month.

Day four for me, better sleep, but still not quite the deep contented slumber I'm looking for. Yesterday's pilates is hurting, so gentler, Aqua this morning.

This is becoming epic, and I've probably x posted with lots of morning people since I started, so sorry not to name check everyone. Heads up, tits out, ODaaT Babes

Morning all.

Razorboy, I am sorry for your loss. We will hold your hand here. X (I understand that we aren't meant to do kisses on MN but I can't work emojis on my phone and it's the closest I can get to a virtual hug).

Blessed, absolutely well done!

Sweet, congratulations on the proposed research intro! I still fluster about email etiquette so always use a title until told otherwise in written communication. I think that makes me come across as very stiff, but oh the angst! I am not a fan of marking, and even less of a fan of online marking systems.
And I wonder if we might have once had the same boss ;)

Ma, I too like your "buss babes" mantra!

To everybody else, I am sorry not to namecheck. The bus is hurtling along at quite a speed these days, but know that I'm rooting for each of you!
I'm officially on day two. Last night was not a problem (though day two rarely is) but we will see what today brings.

Guggs I think it was Spanna who is into the £1000s.

Yorks, I feel your pain, DS annoys me at least as much as I annoy him, I can't imagine dealing with the extra oestrogen around on top of that

Hogarth, academic bosses are quite something, I find there are distinct types (see, academic habits, have to develop a typology!):
Lunch boss was old school, too much of a gentleman to be Harvey Weinstein, but would take his chances if they arose (they didn't ); In the academy for the sherry and totty.
Benign neglect - an accidental manager who would rather get on with their own research and won't bother you if you don't bother them.
The Managerialist - an Arts/Humanities academic who once read the Dummies Guide to Business, and tries to manage you like a Ford production line. Our current version of this turned our last Faculty meeting into an episode of The Office, one colleague was muttering "do the dance" under their breath .

I don't mind online marking, but I loathe our current VLE platform (based in America if you know the one I mean?)

Sorry to talk shop everyone else!

It is Day 4 of my possibly having been/about to be dumped. Staying strong so far, but I'm concerned for when Sunday rolls around as that's when we are planning to talk sonthats when it'll really hit me. But I can't keep letting this be what happens when I'm sad - it just perpetuates the guilt and shame and bad decision.

Hi Veterinari. Welcome. My social life is also based a lot around drinking. Dry January is a good time to start stopping as there is not so much going on socially. For me anyway. It is also a massively busy time for me with year end accounting and auditors so must keep a clear head. I have decided to hit the gym and walking hard so that hopefully it will stop me from planning other social events. Do you have any hobbies or activities that you have let fall by the wayside because you didn’t have time to do them? When not drinking there seems to be so much more time to fill. I am trying to plan my day the night before and then stick to it. After work tonight I will be going to yoga. Best of luck x

Morning all, I'm afraid I visited the sidecar last night. I ended up having a half day off (after my mistake of going to work on my day off) and going home and doing 5 hours of study. HOWEVER I did not drink wine but had two small vodka lime and sodas, when I'd finished my studies. I then stopped, ate and went to bed. Feel bad I let myself down but pleased I didn't dink my usual 1.5 bottles of wine.
Have embarked again this morning (is there any room at the back??), my boyfriend is over tonight (is it right to call him a boyfriend when I'm 46 - sounds obscene!) he's been af for over a week now and I'm embarrassed to say this will probably only be our third af night together. Glad to have the company and he's very committed to being af so that should be a massive help.
Good luck everyone - my thoughts are with razor and all others struggling at the moment for whatever reason x

Wow, this bus is motoring! Unlike the bus I am currently stuck on, en route to work.

I can’t NC everyone but Bernie you haven’t let yourself down - you were mindful, you moderated and you should take heart from that. Razor, I am so, so sorry about your dad. My thoughts are with you. And Sweet, I will report back on Cinderella when I see it later this month.

I haven’t exactly got the boing yet, but I certainly have more energy already - manic energy in fact. I had forgotten that evenings could be productive when not slumped with wine from 5pm onwards (or earlier). Last night I managed to research and book a summer holiday and a weekend break (without the morning panic that I’d done it pissed and we were going to Mar a Lago instead of Minorca, say); sort out various museum, concert and dance tickets and cook loads of healthy meals to freeze for my lunch at work. Good job I’ll be saving all this money from not drinking, shame I’ve spent it all in advance.

I’ve also decided to return to being vegetarian this year and I’m loving the double boing of rediscovering old favourite recipes and ditching all the heavy meat stuff. Hurrah.

Back later - hang on, everyone, wherever guggs is driving us is fine by me.

in work so just a very quick check in to all and sundry.
keep at it Babes. Day 4 here

Morning babes, Day 4 here. Not feeling the boing, but hoping it comes soon so I can get the house ship shape (not had the energy tbh) Loving this bus by the way x

razorboy thinking of you

Day four here too and no boing as yet. It's probably difficult to boing when it has rained constantly for three days and shows no sign of giving up. It must be easier to boing in the good weather!
Today is traditionally the day when I say "oooh, I've not had any wine for three days, best reward myself with some wine" I anticipate posting for help tonight!

Hello everyone!

I'd like to board the bus

I've started Dry January (well actually, started after Christmas) with a view to continuing it indefinitely. I drink maybe twice a week, but sometimes I have no 'off switch' and get very drunk, which happens once every month or two. I seem to be able to keep drinking past the point normal people would stop, which leads to hazy memories, blackouts, and hangovers from hell. I have yet to do anything truly terrible or life-changing, but have embarrassed myself, and the next day I always feel so anxious as well as nauseous. The anxiety can last days.

I've done months off drinking before and found it easy. But I always go back, and I love a drink, but can't trust myself to stop...

It's all the habits that get me. A Bailey's hot chocolate or a mulled wine in a wintery pub, a light beer with a barbeque in the park, a crisp G&T with friends, or a sugary, excited cocktail at the airport... But then I go too far.

I am trying to think of it as a poison that has no tangible benefits. Has anyone read Allen Carr's book?

I did post on the Dry January thread too, but I think this is a more suitable place for me. I don't struggle with drinking day-to-day, just on 'special occasions,' so giving up for a month isn't the end-goal.

Thinking back, I was a very isolated, self-conscious and awkward child who found friends and a sort of social respect through drinking when I was thirteen. I loved the confidence it gave me. I don't think I've ever thought 'I've had enough, I'll stop drinking now' Even now, many years later, I use it to make it easier to talk to people and boost my self-esteem. I often feel inferior in conversation, and don't have much faith in myself being interesting or witty (which would shock my friends and family, I know!).

Oh, and it's day 6 for me

Morning all....
berniebear no shame in riding the sidecar.

Remember...
"It doesn't matter what speed...forward is still forward".
Love and peace and every blessing to you all for a Happy Thursday.
Today I have the task of attacking the ironing mountain and keeping my small-boy-tribe alive Living the dream I tell you babe's...Living.The.Dream

Welcome Dry February. You are welcome aboard the bus with much love....(((( frisk's dry Feb for opal fruits, ginger ale and hot chocolate making facilities)))))

Day 4 here of no smoke or drink. I have the tongue of a devil, it is hot, spiky and well-armed. It does not like people who drink and who have sleep. I wonder if my relationship will last the month.

Thanks to you all on the brave babes threads, I've read through a few over the last few weeks. You are all an inspiration.

Watch out for bridges! The bus is expanding!

Dry I could have written your posts word for word

Day 3 AF here.

Yorkshire that is my pattern too. Days 3 and 4 are usually where I fall. Not feeling physically any better yet but perhaps less tired and a bit more positive overall....
Need the wine belly to deflate to see some progress

I kind of expect to fall on day 5 which is Friday for me. Not bought any cans with the shopping this morning but I'm not truly safe until 6pm when we (me&DS) have a bath and put our pjs on. Living the dream!

However, I did have a mortifying moment in the supermarket when we were heading for the tills and DS (who appears to have memorised the contents of the aisles) said 'are we not going to 10 for blue cans?' The shame.

I need to get on this bus - can I join you?

I haven't had a drink since mid-afternoon on New Year's Day. Yep, that's three days. Can I tell you, that's unheard of for me. I have been drinking every day, with very occasional exceptions, for about 22 years.

I love wine. I love drinking - relaxing at the end of the day, settling in for a chat with a friend over a bottle, sitting in a bar. I can't imagine my life will be as fun or as interesting without it. But it is consuming me - I need to see if I can find a way of putting it in its rightful place, freeing up my time and energy and making me less crazy.

Am I deluding myself if I think I can cut down rather than giving up entirely? I feel like I need to 're-set' - get out of the habit of drinks every evening, find a new routine, but still have one or two glasses of wine (rather than five or six, say) on occasional evenings with friends.

I feel fine! It truly feels like a habit that needs breaking not an actual compulsion. Have spent the last couple of evenings reading, organising my house, having earlier nights! Last night I watched a film and didn't fall asleep - that's really rare.

I want to keep going, but am not in a place of 'never drinking again', just 'not most nights'. Realistic? Bonkers?

A significant obstacle to my efforts is DH, who has always been my drinking buddy and he has no intention of cutting down. He keeps offering me a drink - which means my willpower has to be that bit stronger. Again, I see it as a habit we can break.

Am I in 17 kinds of denial here?

Baking, many years ago, I too was embarrassed by DS shouting and pointing "Mummy, beer aisle, beer aisle!"

Mint, loving Gerald's new extension, do you think that comes under permitted development?

A new instructor for AQUA this morning, much tougher than usual, I don't think the old ladies liked it . I've booked another pilates class for tonight, I'm determined to get the most out of my membership, and once the students are back I won't be able to go as often.

I'm finding it really hard to get past lunch times, 5pm is another danger time for me. I'm also starting to get a bit restless and pacey, my energy is picking up, but I haven't quite figured out how to focus it yet.

I am imagining Gerald a bit like the Knight Bus in Harry Potter. Able to jump from place to place in a few seconds to pick up anyone who needs to get on board, beds and chandeliers flying all over as he screeches round corners on 2 wheels. 😊

Dry - I often feel inferior in conversation, and don't have much faith in myself being interesting or witty - this. Although as a single parent I don't have much socialising opportunity these days.

I had a great alcohol-free sleep last night but I still feel absolutely wiped out. I would normally claw my way till DS2's bedtime at 7.30pm and have a 'brightener', which would lead to another and another and a later bedtime and poor sleep, leading to exactly the same situation tomorrow. Not today though.

Hi. Day 2 of 3 for me. Held out last night for ages then caved and had 1 smallish glass of red (sipped and made it last ages). Not happy with myself but it is a massive improvement on the full bottle it would normally have been.

I’m also still on leave till Monday, so a small miracle I haven’t poured a glass yet really.

Onwards and upwards to all.

Day 4 for me.
Have done so much exercise today I'm completely knackered. Hoping it will make sleep easy tonight.
Loving fizzy water with ice & fresh lime at the moment. And camomile tea before bed...