The Brave Babes Battle Bus - New year, old battles, big resolve

[SweetLathyrus]

Hi, I'm SweetLathyrus, Sweet for short, and I've been on and off Gerald the Brave Babes Battle Bus for years, so this time it's me standing in for our wonderful Mouse to invite you on board.

The bus is a place of support, safety and occasional silliness for those of us struggling with our relationship with alcohol. Some of us are sober, some are trying to be, some are moderating and aren't ready to give up alcohol just yet.

So whatever your reason for questioning the whys and WTFs of your drinking, hop on board, make yourselves comfortable and join in.

If you want to see what it's like, here's the link to the last thread, the one that saw us through Christmas.

And if you want to know how it all started, here is the link to JWN's original, inspiring thread.

Join us on our journey, you won't regret it.

So I am total idiot and I keep not reading the last page of the thread before posting.

Bear - sorry I am laughing at you going into work by accident! If it helps, I put my stove top coffee maker on yesterday morning without any water in it and it basically melted the handle and the top and fused the coffee into the middle, set off my smoke alarms at 6.10 and woke all my neighbours up! And we have done those things without a hangover!

guggenheim - I am actually going to the Caribbean on 25 Jan so perhaps we can investigate now some nice beaches and then i can go back round the ones I like, later in the month?

venus - I genuinely can't remember if I had a boing in 2013, I really hope I did. How long does the boing take do you think? I haven't gone a week without drinking beer since 2014 so I really can't remember...x

Hi all. I’ve had a good day at work and off to the gym to do legs bums and tums. I find I don’t want to drink after exercise so it’s a good distraction. But to be fair I am still not feeling like wine after my blowout on NYE. Twattage think you were going to say something about wine?
Trying yes 2 out of 3 AF days is good for both of us. I hope you are having a good day x

Hi Trust yes I was going to say a little about my experience with wine and my life without it since you're having a rough time of it. I didn't want to hog the thread as I'd already posted twice just now...

I think I was going to say that of all the drinks that I have seen people not have an off button with, it has to be wine. I've been quite surprised by how many people have stopped drinking it in the last 3/4 years since I did (for the same reason - no off button).

There is definitely light at the end of the tunnel though - for me personally after the day I hit rock bottom, I have never ever touched a drop of it or of any other spirits...if I can do it, anyone can. I really believe that I even had one mouthful of it, I would be back in a spiral that I might never come out of. And therefore it has made it really very easy not to go near it.

My husband refers to the period pre 19 April 2013 as 'the lost wine years'. i can barely remember a lot of the preceding 5 or 6 years when my drinking really escalated to nearly 2 bottles a night, including a large chunk of my honeymoon. I lost friends, made a fool of myself on a regular basis, antagonised a million people, spent so much money, and was much less productive, oh and v fat (nearly 4 stone overweight).

Anyway, I won't keep banging on about me, but I just wanted to reassure you that if you really want to stop it, eventually you will. I had many tries before it eventually clicked.

My life now is immeasurably richer in so many ways as a result of not drinking the vino.

I hope this helps a little bit. Big hugs. xxx

Feeling really down. Had other people's kids here all afternoon and I'm so ducking grumpy I just want everyone gone. I'm so tired of having to put me last. Nothing I want ever feels possible to prioritise. I'm so desperate for a bottle of wine to soften the edges I could cry.

Only another half an hour to go and I can take them home. God I can't wait for them all to go back to school and get out of my space.
I hate everyone. Mainly myself.

Great advice venus as always : )

I’ve experience the boing before usually around day 4/5, but can’t cant passed day 6 then end up on this crazy path again. I really really want to do this and know it’s up to be but it’s so bloody hard and yes it’s the good wine that’s the problem. Hope everyone else ok

Hello Babes and Fellow Bears All good here.

I used to live in the Caribbean and currently have a Virgin brochure on my coffee table so I am happy be the Bus Travel Agent

My under eye bags are grey rather than yellow which I guess is an improvement. I didn't sleep well last night, I think it will be several days before I can sleep without my usual quantities of booze. No booze here now so I am all set for being totally AF.

I have changed my plans for tomorrow to have a later start as I have a long motorway drive and was worried about not having slept.

twatbear where are you going? Don't worry if you don't want to be specific. I will also be watching P&K tonight, I absolutely love them both.

ginger you need to practice some self care and try to make a little time for yourself. I understand those feelings of self hatred and they are very dangerous

@rothbury I don't really even know what self care is. I've spent so long trying to salvage a relation that should've died quietly a couple of years ago that the only self care I know how to practice is drinking wine! Any tips? So close to just going to the shop and saying fuck it.

Evening rothbear - I don't think I can say at the moment as one never knows who may be reading sadly...but I will tell you when I get back!

I am exceedingly well travelled so I am happy to provide guide books for your travel agency for people to read on the bus. If there are any specific destinations people would like to know about, please let me know. i shall shortly be visiting country 59...

Hopefully we will all sleep better tonight...I could easily nod off now but I won't let myself otherwise I'll be awake in the night for sure. x

rothbury jealous of you living in the Caribbean - are you also a fan of Death in Paradise?

Whatevermaybe - what day are you on now? I think if you could get to a week that would be a real help...what are you most struggling with?

ginger - sending a big hug...please don't hate yourself...

Sorry if I am posting a lot, I am just needing to stay mindful at the moment in these early days...xxx

Big food shop tonight guys, cant wait to see the booze free total....xx

Hi babes,

Happy New Year all
Day 3 here too and I thought I'd slept much better last night. DH has come home however to tell me that we kept being woken by the storm....

The thing is it's his AFD3 too - so I KNOW that I haven't wanted to murder him for waking me up 8,000 times in the night snoring like a great big alcoholic walrus... . Nope I haven't even had to politely ahem ask him go and sleep in the spare room for the last couple of nights before I stab him in his stupid drunken snoring head!!!

So, the storm really didn't bother me so much. I went out with DCs today and then came home to stick them
In front of telly and had a cheeky power nap - sooo tired.

Am drinking matcha tea this week to see if I can get some of that "calm energy" it's supposed to give you before I'm back at work next week. Will report back!

evening all - I posted a little bit in or around November I think but ended up in the sidecar but am hoping to squeeze into a seat on Gerald? Am on day two AF - at the very least am hoping to reset relationship with alcohol but that may lead into a longer period of abstention. I know the one day at a time mantra is important but am I limiting myself by not committing all out...?

Hope all the other babes are surviving the remnants of storm Eleanor and good sleep vibes to you all.

SMILED I used to sleep with a snorer and frequently wanted to stab him.

lastname Mine was about £100 cheaper!! But that may be because there is so much food still in the house I didn't need to get much.

twatbear Yes - I love DIP although I did have to email the BBC about a few inconsistencies I loved living there but the ex pat community where I was living was quite incestuous and I was happy to come home.

namechanger You just tell us when you're ready. Have you read any of the previous threads?

ginger Honestly - I have the t shirt and am sure I am not the only passenger who can say that. I wasted five years getting over an abusive relationship that should have lasted five months, but I could not let it go. Now I have really good boundaries and much higher self esteem. Have a look at www,baggagereclaim.co.uk It is great for those of us who have felt like we aren't good enough or spent years wondering "what's the matter with him" when what we should have been asking is "what's the matter with me that I would hang around for these crumbs"

Self care is little things like painting your nails - a facemask. Going to the cinema or a museum on your own. Cooking yourself some comfort food - particularly if you are alone or are the only one who likes it.

If you need relationship advice it might be worth posting in Relationships too - lots of great posters on there who would be able to help. You know as well as I do that alcohol is part of the problem, not even a tiny part of the cure.

Twattage I think you may be right about the wine. I just seem to get on a roll after one. After DJ I am going to try beer as my drink as I do like it but it’s not something I could drink a lot of. Thank you! X

Evening all

I couldn't face going to my local AA meeting today. I do still want to go but my anxiety is through the roof after the NY bender and the thought of meeting all those new people was making me feel I'll try again next week.

I have asked DH to pick me up Jason Vales book on his way home from work tonight.

Hope you're all ok. I'm so pleased I found these threads

twattage I’m on day 3 again but still feeling really rundown physically and mentally. I’m 40 and been doing this for over 20 years and just so bored of it. I have said to a couple of friends I’m doing Dry January and this has stopped any awkward questions. My DP drinks a lot so he’s usually my partner in crime. Think I will read this thread from the beginning and take it from here. Thanks again for the welcome means a lot x

Glad I could help a bit Trust - I would hate for you (or anyone) to go into a downwards spiral on wine again...for me it offers absolutely nothing to my life and was ultimately just making me miserable. For me it is impossible to moderate it at all and everything about my life has improved since the day I stopped drinking it.

I was trying to think hand on heart if I have had any of the bad times on beer - I may have had 1-2 nights where it's been a late one with other people on a special occasion (but I didn't make a fool of myself or do anything crazy), otherwise I just stop and go to sleep...

I would really recommend trying some bottled beers - there are loads of different types in the supermarket. I had never drunk beer either (apart from on my travels where wine isn't drunk) so had the same view. I like a cold bottle of something - at 5% you are already on less than 50% of the strength of most wines...

x

Whatevermaybe - aw bless you. I feel a bit the same (I'm 42) right now as I let bad habits creep in towards the end of 2017 in terms of daily drinking. I am thinking we need to give it a bit longer to start feeling a bit fabulous...am sure it will come.

Def have a look at the original thread - I am glued to it...xxx

Ginger, my DS is back to school tomorrow, I am counting the minutes, he not a bad kid, but I'm fed up of him coming into my study and talking at me when I'm trying to work; he asks me to wake him up at a certain time, has a conversation with me when I do, then claims I didn't because he's gone back to sleep, then stays up through the night and claims to feel unwell the next day (you're just bloody TIRED); is over-sensitive about any perceived criticism; and a hundred and one other things. And breathe . . .

Welcome to tonight's new and returning Babes, Namechanger, Whatever, HAHelp, Crikey

I would have killed for a glass of wine AT 5PM, but I've made it. Hoping for better sleep tonight.

Oh my goodness, just too many people to name check. Welcome to th new and returning Babes, plenty of room on this big old bendy bus. Forgive the dreadful driving..guggs stole the keys and i can't get them off her!
ginger don't give it to it. it's the Wine witch, telling you you are a crap person so might as well go and buy some wine. It's a trick. She was whispering in my ear on the way home from work today - the dreaded Day 3, my nemesis so often. My techniques were to recite as many of the Babes names as I could, out loud, like a charm or incantation. It made me feel stronger knowing you were all there, hanging out the bus windows and flicking the finger at the WW. Then, a large glass of water the minute I got in, one while cooking dinner and one with dinner. Then a bath. Then a mug of tea. Am fine now and have nailed it for today.
hope did i see you lurking about further up? Glad you went to the accountant. Do you have a plan forming?

I love that Ma - Like Arya's revenge list in GoT, but more benevolent and powerful

@dementedma  at the wine witch!!! The force is strong with her.

Thanks @rothbury and @SweetLathyrus

I've put so much effort and energy into him/us and finally reached my last straw moment. I've kind of gone cold turkey with everything and it's all a bit overwhelming