Managed to shake of possessive annoying friend, now DH is saying we should send a Christmas card!

[apoppetonastring]

Just that really!

We moved to this area some 3 years ago, (from 30 odd miles away) and another couple moved at the same time (a few weeks after us.)

We met them in the pub, and they seemed ok for a while, then got annoying very quickly. Nosey and irritating and moany. We found we had very little in common.

We were polite, and spoke to them when we saw them, and we would speak to them when they were at the pub, and we met at a couple of hobby groups. (We only went for the first 6 months we were here.)

But they kept over-stepping the mark; calling at our home unannounced, asking us to do stuff for them and give them lifts, and then moaning to others when we stopped answering their calls, and not answering the door.

So anyway, we finally managed to shake them, and they have not rang or texted us or 'popped in' since April/May! A couple of people we all know asked me in passing 'have you been in touch with them?' and I just said we have been too busy, and we really don't have that much in common, and we just sort of hung around when we first came here as we were both new, and now I have met lots more people, and so on....' People stopped asking about 3-4 months back.

It's such a relief to not have them texting and leaving messages, and I can go in the garden without worrying about them 'popping round.' DH agrees, as he was getting majorly irked with them too.

So anyway, we were writing our Christmas cards out yesterday, and DH said we should send them one! just so they know there's no hostility....

Am I being unreasonable to think we should NOT send one? We spent over a year trying to shake them off, and 7-8 months ago, they finally took the hint, and stopped bothering with us, and now DH wants to send them a flippin' Christmas card.

Does anyone think this is a bad/stupid idea?

Surely it's sending mixed messages? I do NOT want these 2 people back in my life/our lives!

WWYD?

Kill DH, he obviously has no idea of how social relations work.

DON'T DO IT. Do you want another year of getting rid of them again???!!!!

Blimey, what is the matter with your DH?!

You're right he's wrong ; don't risk it. If he insists then write them a card and pretend to deliver it but burn it instead

DH is a bit of a pain honestly. Like they would ring and say 'can your dh help with this and that?' (the job he does means they thought they could call him to do it for free,) and I would say 'no he is busy sorry' and he would sigh and ring them and offer to do it 'just to shut them up...' Then he would ring them a few days later to see 'if all was still ok!'

i swear it took an extra half a year to shake them because of him letting it linger and wanting to be helpful! I had to yell at him to not call them 9 months back over something.

He tends to want to help people, but then people take advantage and pester him/us... but then he moans about it!!!

Oh god I remember your original thread! The passive aggressive ones who pester you to meet then turn up late, who basically guilt trip you into allowing them to ride over your boundaries because they are so “weird” and no one else likes them...

Kill your DH, it’s the only way

Absolutely NO..... to a christmas card... blimey is your husband missing them ????

LOL @gemini I don't think he misses them!!! He can't stand them, and thinks they are majorly odd and annoying!

WHY he wants to send a Christmas card I do not know!

Oh heck nooooooo. Please tell him no.

To send a card would blur the boundaries

I think this too @tomato Finally shook these two off, and they have not bothered us since April-ish, (although we have seen them in passing in town 2 or 3 times and just said 'hi' like we do with everyone we see,) and yet DH wants to send a f*cking Christmas card to them!

I said 'whaaaa? WHY?!'

And he just said 'so they know there is no hostility!' WTF?

I definitely think it would send a message that we want to be 'friends' again!

I know @trojan

I cannot fathom his reasoning at all ... He couldn't stand them, yet (as I said before) he would sigh and say 'OK I will help them then!' And it made it harder to shake them.

I cannot get my head round why he wants to send a Christmas card!!!

Thanks @genever

I don't think I will say no, and will write one out but rip it up and throw it away on the walk to their house. If I say no, DH may just write one and take it round.

I won't GO to their house, but I will go in the direction so DH thinks I am going there. Then I'll go off in another direction!

Don't send a card if you don't want them back in your life. Leave it as is

You are right

Oh I remember this too, bury DH under the patio.

Sounds like your DH is a massive people-pleaser. Don't send a card! They will clearly interpret it as a sign of encouragement and it could undo all the efforts you've made to get them out of your hair!

He does seem to be a people pleaser (I tend to be - a bit.) But it makes no sense as he couldn't stand them!

Are you the same woman who posted before?

I don't understand why you would even pretend. Just say no and that's the end of it.

Merry Christmas from Poppet will be read as:
Hello friend see you bright and early Christmas day, and you are welcome for lunch!!
Step away from the pen op.
If necessary cable tie dh hands behind his back until it's too late to post!!