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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

situation with my colleague 2

243 replies

MortalEnemy · 13/12/2017 12:57

Because you asked for it with such vociferousness, and the other thread, astonishingly, is nearly full... Grin

OP posts:
lakeg · 16/12/2017 07:25

`Can I be the only cynical one on and say your imagination is coloring your outlook

Shayelle · 16/12/2017 07:33

Brilliant update Mortal! You two are so cute x

YoungYolandaYorgensen39 · 16/12/2017 07:43

lakeg - Can I be the only cynical one on and say your imagination is coloring your outlook?

Whose imagination? Not Mortal’s. Some of us, the captive audience, might be guilty of wild imaginings but she has her feet firmly on the ground.

CraftyNestUK · 16/12/2017 12:49

Don’t worry about an outing Mortal. You’ve been sufficiently vague. I’m sure we’re all thinking it’s someone we know but is surely not. Can’t believe I just spent all morning reading through both threads. Really looking forward to your updates! Can’t wait for the business trip and dinner to take place!

MyOtherProfile · 16/12/2017 13:05

I'm quite convinced the language is Dothraki anyway.

LucretiaBourgeois · 16/12/2017 13:51

I was thinking Elvish.

badbadhusky · 16/12/2017 13:59

I was thinking Elvish.

Uh-huh-huh

OrangesAndLemonsOnly · 16/12/2017 16:11

Given the evidence, it is unlikely Mortal’s colleague has a purely platonic attitude. To back this assertion up, the arguments are the following:

  1. R has lengthy chats with M
  2. R is in the habit of exchanging witty e-mails with M during meetings
  3. He writes her long, well-considered and carefully drafted email communications AFTER work hours
  4. He thought it was ever so dangerous to go for a coffee with M
  5. He looks shifty when the situation resembles a date in any way
  6. He remembered her blue dress in minute detail when no one else did
  7. He took note of M’s apparel and subsequent changes thereof on the day of the Christmas party
  8. He left his team to their own devices to go and seek out M in the foyer, so he could walk with her to the restaurant
  9. He chose a seat next to, then directly opposite M at the Christmas meal
10. He invited her to a meal just the two of them 11. He said she is beautiful 12. Writes her passionate pleas asking her not to go 13. He has got her personal mobile number and email address 14. The male posters on the thread unequivocally vouched he is smitten with her, judging by his actions

So.... I think it will take a big, big, enormous coincidence given all the above and more, that he is only feeling friendly towards OP. This is not how friendly men behave!!!

mikulkin · 16/12/2017 17:49

This reply has been deleted

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endehors · 16/12/2017 18:28

Ooh, waiting for the next update with bated breath, OP. What will happen next

MortalEnemy · 16/12/2017 19:32

Mik, I had forgotten that I had ever contributed to other threads under the same username before this thread, as before I started this, I used to change username every couple of weeks. I’ve had dozens and dozens since I started on Mn. So, especially as I haven’t been particularly troll-aware, and it would never occur to me to check up on the ID/verity of another poster, I wasn’t aware people would search for ‘clues’. I slipped up. As you say, if I were a troll, I would have been cleverer about it all. I have not hidden the fact that I’ve obscured and altered details.

I’m not writing a novel. I don’t think I’ve ever read a romcom. I thought the first two Bridget Jones films were moronic, especially the one where she distributed bras in a Thai jail. I started the thread because I was confused about my feelings, which I thought were a dopey, one-sided teenage crush on someone I just ran into a lot, and that I was embarrassed to talk to friends about.

Nothing is made up. I live in the sticks, and on the rare occasions I need to get public transport to work in bad weather, I wear jeans and wellies and carry work clothes in a backpack, because the bus doesn’t go though the village at peak hours, and I have to walk up a footpath to an A road, and wait on a verge. If I’d been driving, I wouldn’t have had other clothes the day of the Christmas do.

But your post has made me realise I’ve been uneasy for a while about posting, even in concealed terms, about a real relationship with a real person. I probably should have stopped a long time ago, but when I’ve felt low about things, some of the regulars — you know who you are! — were so supportive and kind and funny, I got lulled back in. But even then, until I started the new thread, I didn’t know how many readers it had, and the risk being identified in RL is making me increasingly uneasy. I think this may be the moment to stop.

R is real, and he’s lovely, far more than I’ve been able to convey, and he’s human, and exasperating, and contradictory, and funny, and repressed, and tender, and it doesn’t in fact matter so much to me any more whether I ever get to kiss him. We have a connection of some deep kind. It has made my life better to have him in it. I probably owe him some privacy. I was planning to wind this down, anyway, in the near future. Thanks for the good times, everyone.

OP posts:
handbagdoctor · 16/12/2017 20:00

De-lurking to wish you, Mortal and Rumpled, all the very best. You have such a lovely relationship that it looks like a win-win whatever happens from now on, in private. Thank you for sharing your journey and best wishes xx

dizzy174 · 16/12/2017 20:02

De-lurking to wish you, Mortal and Rumpled, all the very best. You have such a lovely relationship that it looks like a win-win whatever happens from now on, in private. Thank you for sharing your journey and best wishes xx I too echo these words

CountFosco · 16/12/2017 20:12

All the best mortal. This has been a lovely thread but you are right to keep you and Rumpled's privacy. Hope you have a lovely Christmas and a Rumpled new year Wink

Chikka1971 · 16/12/2017 20:15

mortal I completely understand where you're coming from. You must do what's right for you. Thank you for allowing us to share this part of your journey. I hope you have a wonderful Christmas and that you and Rumpled continue to make each other happy Thanks

handbagdoctor · 16/12/2017 20:19

ps Mortal, I will miss your updates Flowers

CompletelyUnknown · 16/12/2017 20:27

Thanks Mortal for the daily foray into your lovely early moments of falling for R. He sounds every bit worth your attention. I hope you keep enjoying each other's company and you stay happy.

raisinsarenottheonlyfruit · 16/12/2017 20:30

Mortal I'm sad we won't hear what happens next. I wish you all the very best.

If you and R do get together please will you come back and tell us? You don't need to give any detail, would just be lovely to know roughly how it turns out for you and R.

Seeds1962 · 16/12/2017 20:32

Farewell Mortal and your lovely Rumpled. Sorry the trolls and hunters have driven you away :(

Whisky2014 · 16/12/2017 20:33

Can you PM me what book it was you had told him about? I really want to read It!

badbadhusky · 16/12/2017 20:48

Good luck Mortal. Hope it all goes well.

KeziaOAP · 16/12/2017 20:50

Have loved reading your story, sad we won't hear more of you and R but do understand the need for privacy. Wishing you well for your future.

rhubarblover · 16/12/2017 21:20

Good luck Mortal. I really hope it works out for you both.

MonaChopsis · 16/12/2017 21:29

Good luck Mortal. I totally understand your decision, though selfishly am sad we won't get to hear what happened next! I wish you all the best.

ferriswheel · 16/12/2017 21:30

Aw.

Never mind.

Totally understand. Wishing you everything with Rumpled, and more.

xxxxxxx