On my way to go get dumped

[callmehannahbaker]

I'm on the bus to go see my boyfriend, all was good until about a week ago.
I have BPD and have recently started working again and am in the process of moving house.
This has meant I've not been practicing my emotional regulation and distress tolerance techniques enough and got down and needy.
Boyfriend is quite new and although he is fully aware that I have BPD I think because I was mainly in control before it has come as a shock and he's realised he can't deal with it.

I'm going to have to deal with this and get my head around the fact that BPD and relationships just don't work for me and I'll have to be single forever.

Sorry for ranting, having a little cry on the bus and needed to do something.

He will not change his mind

He was on tinder whilst dating you
He finished things because of your mental health
You’ve asked him to stop contacting you but he still does

HE IS STRINGING YOU ALONG!!! They are not the actions of a man who cares! If he did care he’d do as you ask. He’s keeping you ‘there’ just in case

He IS NOT going to change his mind. He will shag you when he fancies it, not because he cares, simply because he fancies a shag. He’s only talking to you to keep you in limbo

Have some self respect and leave him alone.

It's not really fair to say to the OP 'just cut contact' she can't because of her BPD. and this is where he is showing himself up to be a total twat because he's taking advantage of that.

I think it’s fair, she’s finding it hard to see that he’s playing her, everyone else can see it, I have been in the same situation and it is hard but it’s ten times harder for her to continue believing that he’s going to come back to her and live happily ever after, this isn’t going to happen, even if he did come back to her why would anyone want to be with someone who still chats to other women on tinder whilst in a relationship with you?

OP needs to realise that she’s worth so much more, that there are men out there that will treat her right despite her MH issues, why settle for someone who’s going to continue to hurt you and not support you when your struggling with MH? She’s worth more.

Oh yes I agree that he's a waste of space.

No OP, Don't let him do this. He's messing with your head. I had one of these men sneak in when I was at my most vulnerable, find that bit of strength and block him. Like you I clung on as I'd nothing else, eventually he just ghosted me after weeks of sporadic contact. It was hell but I got through it and you will too.

He's messing you around big time and that's really not fair!!

I don't think he'll change his mind really. I'm just lying to myself because it's easier that way.

Having a bit of a cry in bed now.

😭

Op, you deserve better than this you know. A good man would not mess you around.

Going to meet for a coffee Friday to discuss if we're still doing New Year's Eve together (the kids are looking forward to it) but would mean staying at his.

Don't do it. You can't - this isn't affecting him; but it's going to tear you to pieces, especially when he's suddenly got a new woman and doesn't need your attention anymore so the daily messages/chats/meetings stop.

Don't meet him, don't talk to him about NYE. If you can't block him: get someone else to do it for you. You're letting him pull all the strings and it's going to lead to massive heartbreak for you.

Op you need to put the breaks on this, you really do 😭

Don’t do this! And do not drag any kids into it!