The man who disappeared part 2

[Carrotgirl999]

Sorry, I don't know if I need a new thread, as it will probably be me just wallowing / getting angry / getting sad. But thought I'd better anyways

At least I can tell you all when his stuffs gone and the chapter is completely closed.

I am so fucking shocked by all this I truly am. And il have to sit my son down tonight and tell him.

Cowardly cowardly bastard.

The only anger I have towards her is that she only wanted him when she found out he had me. Complete home wrecker. My main anger is at him, for being so fucking gullible, and stupid. And I guess for not loving me enough when he had behaved and said he had.

And mad at myself for falling for it I guess.

Think it was lover that said it. I'm a rebound. I need to get that in my head. However heartbreaking that is. I mean he got a fucking tattoo. What a moron. I really think he believed he loved me and was happy. Until Saturday. Flaky and fickle. And cunty.

You are a credit to women! If you need to see a good example of how to deal with a prick of a boyfriend, this is it !! You are bad ass lady! God... if it was me I'd want to have a go at him , scream and everything but you got class! Quietly rub chillis in his underwear and get on with taking back your life! Xxxxx

That bar Job is a GREAT idea op!!
Go on girl, you have this!

Please let us know how this pans out, Carrot - and when he comes running back, snivelling (as I'm sure he will), please keep us updated on that too. I love to see Karma in action.

I would leave his stuff with a neighbour or in the hallway and get the lock changed. I'd say " Sorry i have plans and need to get your stuff out today it's with X neighbour / in hallway and don't worry about the key , I've changed the locks. Take it easy"

Stops all the faffing . Sending hugs xx

can you leave all his stuff outside the door - its obv safe in your communal area, so just tell him its outside the door and to knock when hes done to give you the keys, Or dont bother with keys, go and buy a new lock and then he can keep the keys, Tell him what time you will put everything outside and tell him if he has not collected it by 3, you will put it out by the bins. Job done.

I agree with Lefty1. Don't put yourself out for him, he doesn't deserve decency

What a prat. Carrot - could you ask his brother (who seems reasonable) to come over and collect his stuff and return your key?

Lefty I really do need those keys tho, he has the only letterbox key! And he said he's leaving me money? We will see about that tho . I'm out of here. 9-3. That's long enough hopefully xx

You are so dignified and caring. You are way too good for this scumbag.

Just wanted to come on to say that your behaviour through all this has been amazing; it's easy to misjudge a person's character when they show you what they want you to see, but it's what you do when the mask slips that matters, and in this you've been incredibly self-controlled and dignified.

I personally would not want him in the flat alone, so would either stick his stuff in the corridor outside or get someone you trust round who can supervise him while he gets his stuff.

Val, for right now his brothers won't enable this, they won't help him or support the decision. They've been so good to me.

Don't get me wrong blood is thicker than water and they'll all sort it out, and il just be 'remember that nice lass X went out with for a bit'. I know that. But for now they have my back at least while it's raw. X

Ok op take charge of this now. He's not going to Wanda in when he feels like it to get his stuff this isn't on. You call the shots now not him.

Yes, he probably did think he loved you. Maybe he actually did. But he's an idiot. Clearly. Now he wants you to know how torn he is. He tells you about it so you can relieve him of the guilt and assure him he is doing the right thing. I think he's seriously messed himself up. In a few weeks he will be kicking himself. But, you deserve better, you don't need to settle for an idiot like this, whereas miss dysfunction is begging because she knows an idiot like this is the best she can do. They deserve each other. No point being angry. I'd be inclined to feel pitty. But I would be asking him for his half of the rent. It's the least he can do having made your son's life that little bit harder.

I would just tell him, stuff gone by X time or its outside the flat. Change the locks so it doesn't matter about getting the keys back and he cannot let himself in then. He'll string you along else about picking stuff up and most likely turn up with mates or with her which is NOT what you need. Hes being a selfish twat so dont enable him to continue dictating how this goes.

What Fanny said is also a good idea in terms of key returning. I wouldn't hold my breath with the money, he may just be saying this in the hope that it prevents you from putting his stuff in the bin xxx

Oh Carrot - that is good to know that they know he is being such a twat - for what it is worth, my ex (been together 16 years) suddenly changed overnight - he too pleaded the poor little me thing - thought he was dying blah blah blah - he moved in with someone as soon as my home sale was completed - it was my house and I was forced to sell to pay him off a 6 figure sum - thank god you have no financial ties - mine was such a tosser that it made walking away with head held high much easier xxx Keep going - it will get better.

He clearly has trouble with what 'love' really means. Sounds like he gets carried away with superficial feelings and thinks that's enough. Can't believe he's still flapping about trying to get to you 'ooh I'll come by train, no, I can't carry all
my stuff, whatever shall I doooooo...' Sounds a bit pathetic if you ask me. He should have thought all this through before.

What previous pps have said. You're a credit women.

You sound very intelligent. Next time you'll meet a man worthy of you.

OP I have just finished reading both your threads. My ex was very similar, within 12 hours our 4 and a half year relationship was over and he had moved into another womans house, I had noo idea what went on at the time and it took a long time for me to recover from. He left me with your two toddlers and they saw him a few times after that then nothing.
He tattooed my name on his heart 3 days after meeting me so that gave me some satisfaction that the other woman would see that every day.
I occasionally hear from him when he asks after the kids. His life is shit. He and his fiancee lost all their kids to social services, he hasn't bothered to see my kids in seven years, a good friend saw his profile on that cheating website Ashley Madison and he told me a few months ago that he wished he had never left me.
I now have a wonderful partner, I am happy and we are about to buy our first house. My ex hates how good my life came when he left and it is very satisfying I must say.

To*

harrypotternerd not being funny butv3 days! Red flag right there. Glad you're happy now.

Op, I read you original message and just came back on to see if he had returned! Only skimmed read it but just wanted to say sorry that it didn’t all work out.
I can see you are a strong woman and this will hurt for a bit but you will bounce back!
Sending you lots of Christmas cheer and remember let those tears out if you need to.

If she's only begged for him back because she realised he had someone else it won't work out at all, especially because she clicked her fingers and he went running straight away with barely a fight. She'll be bored of him by Boxing Day and he'll be back begging you for a second chance and kicking himself for giving you up!

You on the other hand will be still in your lovey home with your lovely son with a fab extra job where you'll have a great time and in time you can look back and realise what a lucky escape you had.

could you ask his brother (who seems reasonable) to come over and collect his stuff and return your key?

^ this.

Really, do not engage with this numpty and his indecisive faffing. Do not give him access to what is no longer his home. I would change the locks anyway tbh. Very cleansing.