I have exchanged contracts & move in just over two weeks. Not feeling strong tonight.

[Stillfeelingmessy]

I have posted a lot over the years about my struggles with H & then my separation.
It hasn't been a straightforward separation as we have lived under the same roof for the last 10 months due to H refusing to move out.
I have found a nice house for myself & the boys & should be happy I now only have a couple of weeks before the move, but I am finding myself feeling all churned up & frightened tonight.
Don't know why I'm posting under relationship section, guess it is because I have posted about my situation a lot under this section in the past.
I am watching DS2 laying under a cover on the sofa with his dad & feeling so upset.
I know it is for the best long term, but I'm finding it all a bit hard right now & not feeling my strongest.
Feel free to give me a shake!

I have asked for it to be deleted, Floating.

Keep going, messy. You're getting there. So sorry about poor lovely ds1, bless his heart. Ultimately you are doing the right thing for him - and you - though. However hard it may be.

In contrast I have completed and am doing a leisurely move-in, MIL currently hard at work cleaning the new house for me (not sure how I blagged that) with friends coming to help me tomorrow and Sunday. Don't be afraid to ask for help.

Wow! Good news about your completion, tribpot - hope the move goes well.

I have had a few friends offering to help in any way they can & one of my colleagues has told me to shout if I need any help moving, which is lovely of them.
I have also had lots of offers from friends offering to come & see me with wine!

Really, don't worry, Dino. I only got the post deleted because I am being ultra cautious atm.

I've been feeling terrible since, about having your post deleted! I just thought it was best to remove it, just incase there were any unwanted prying eyes around, IYKWIM?!

good luck for next week messy, this time next week you will need to be thinking of a new nickname

Thanks, BKBK.
Have a feeling I may still be feeling a bit messy next week, but at least things will be able to move on at last.
I am trying to keep as with it as I can atm, but I did have a bit of a cry while ironing today.

Of all the things we went through, the one thing that has stuck with H & he keeps bringing up, is the incident with the plastic coupe car! (Very start of my threads as SM) I think he has shocked himself that he ever got so angry with a bit of plastic.

It is a funny time for me right now. I don't know quite how I'm feeling, other than messy in the head!

I wish I was round the corner form you. Messy, I would come with you on Wednesday if I could. But you'll be ok during the vistit itself, I reckon, it's the anticipation and the hindsight and waiting for the report etc that always seem to be a strain.
After all this time trying to move house, it ends up in the same week as the assessment. There can't be any such thing as 'fate' - it would never be that bloody cruel, surely?

DP was in charge of getting the removal co and booked a right bunch of cowboys over the 'net - did the whole thing by e mail, they didn't visit or anything like that. When I found all that out a week before the move I got DP to call them and confirm all the details, and it transpired they were planning to do 3 separate trips in a small van! For our 4 bed house. When we were exchanging on a sale and purchase simultaneously so couldn't possibly be unloading one vanload into new house having left vacant posession at the other - unlesss our stuff was piled on the pavement!

It sounds as if you are being far more organised!

Oh blimey, that sounds a total nightmare, Blu!
I feel quite confident with the company we are using. The guy came round when I was in the house, and took notes of everything, then sent us a written report a day later. They are a big firm, so I'm hoping all will be ok!

I will get through next week, but I am getting myself quite emotional thinking about it all right now.

Would love for you to live round the corner, Blu!

Of course your removal co will be fine - my DP didn't book it - and it is no doubt a proper company!

I know I keep saying this...but I AM coming to visit you this summer!

A separation, house move and child being assessed is terribly, terribly stressful and upsetting - so many emotions, so many issues.

I think you'll just have to take the coming week one hour at a time, do what has to be done in that hour and then move on to the next. I don't think I could get through it, tbh - but then there isn't an alternative, is there?

There is no alternative, so I will just have to get through it, but I really feel like I don't want next week, Blu. I would like to either freeze or fast forward time right now.
Would love to see you some time soon, Blu. I can get your way if easier. (Still get free train travel for a while!)

I am keeping quite with it atm, but if I do lose it a bit over the next few days, I apologise now!

I know what you mean - it would be nice just to leapfrog straight to this time next week, wouldn't it?

But you are doing amazingly well - I don't thnk anyone could underestimate what you are dealing with atm.

Will e mail about Our Meet-Up!!

Just want to wish you luck for your move next week and wish you and your boys lots of happiness and good luck. You've really been through it - you've done well to get this far. Bet you can't wait to see DS1 happy again when he realises he can play normally in his own home. Best wishes and hope everything's OK for DS1.

Thank you.

How are you doing messy?

I have replied to your e mail, CQ.
I haven't totally lost the plot, which is good, but I'm not sleeping well at all atm & as a result I am very tired.

I feel so mixed right now. I never really truly settled in this house & have had lots of unhappy times here, yet I am feeling sad looking at the bare rooms & knowing I'm leaving it in 4 days time.
I am happy about my new house & new start, but at the same time I feel totally ripped up inside at the thought of the final stages of this separation.
It will be nice to have the freedom & not to worry about H's moods, but a big part of me is also going to miss the nicer side of H.
I am 100% sure I am doing the right thing & it took me a long time to get here, but it is harder than I could ever have imagined.
I am feeling very churned up inside today & the feeling won't go away.

Sorry, I'm having a bit of a bad moment all of a sudden.

Sorry about that deep post. I think I am just very over tired, which makes me feel a bit lower than normal.
Have had a bath & feel a little calmer now.

Thanks, Dino. I will be ok, I think it is just where it is all drawing so close now that I am starting to get a bit overwhelmed & churny.
Sleeping has gone to pot totally (as you can probably tell by the time here!), which doesn't help, but it is just impossible atm.
I think of other MN'ers often when I feel like this & I'm inspired by them. I know I will get through it eventually, but this stage is doing me in a little bit.
Still managing to get by & work etc, so I guess I haven't totally lost it though!