If this happened to you, what would your DH/DP do?

[Inarightpickleandchutney]

Let’s say you were about an hour away from home.
With a DD, having a day out at the seaside.
I have a known allergy and carry epi pens.
I went to a cafe with DD, asked about the food, ordered etc. Minutes later after a first mouthful I’m struggling for breath and it’s very obvious it’s anaphylactic shock.
DD is 7, tells a grown up they do the epi pen and n ambulance is called.

The nurse at the hospital calls home to say don’t panic but this has happened and it was a close call but it’s all under control.

Your DH.... what is their response to that call?

@HandbagKrabby you have got the nail on the head.
It’s lonlier to be in a marriage like this than alone an dknow where you stand.
I’m making screenshots and photos of documents right now.

I can't get over he wasn't even waiting for you to get in with a cup of tea and a hug.

He was asleep. Presumably, with a car on the drive.

Awful.

@biscuitmillionaire that’s it. It’s the feeling behind it, or rather lack of it.
We weren’t priority at all.

Well done, OP

Yep, fully functional car on the drive with petrol in it. But it wasn’t urgent because the nurse had said I was stable but close call.

Does he understand how serious it was? (Clutching at straws....).

I'm sorry. I think his behaviour was pretty terrible.

I am heartbroken for your daughter (as well as you of course). She was all alone in the hospital and must have been terrified, is she your DHs? (shouldn't matter of course......)

OP you deserve better.

He would drop everything immediately and come to take care of DC and me. I am assuming your 'd' h did not?

Ok I need to check on DD (takes her ages to sleep due to the adhd but she’s good and tries to chill) so I might not be back for a wee bit.

I had a similar experience recently. A health scare anyway. Ex dp was there as soon as possible to collect me and our ds's.

We do get on well but even so the fact your current partner couldn't be bothered speaks volumes.

Show him that poor girl who used to work for "This Morning" who is now brain damaged from a nut allergy

I'm diabetic and just asked DH what he would do if I had a hypo and ended up in hospital. He said he would sort out DS being collected from school and then come straight to the hospital.

I would leave for this. There is so much wrong here that I can't see why you are still there.

Obviously the nurse is going to be reassuring on the phone, because otherwise people are likely to panic. ‘Stable and a close call’ in A&E speak is quite a long way from ‘everything’s OK; just sit on your arse’. Everyone knows this.

I’d leave, especially if he’s done similar before. Your poor DD too

Divorce worthy for sure.

When ds got knocked out on the football pitch and he was taken to a&e with a suspected concussion, DH was in the hospital before we arrived with the ambulance.

Your H behaviour is truly shocking.

I can’t believe he let your DD sit next to you for nine hours.

Feeling for you massively. Thankfully I split with my ex but he probably wouldn't have come either. One of many reasons we have now separated.

I need someone who will be there in a heartbeat. Since he's not, he's gone.

OrangeCrush: You'd know what to do, they are fairly self explanatory. Honestly.

OP: you said its not the first time, did he even text or call you to see how you were? I must admit, with the examples I gave, I never asked him to come, so therefore he thought it was ok. But all I wanted was for him to show he cared. I always knew if I asked I would get a negative response anyway. Keep that fire burning.

LTB

His lack of feeling off you is bad enough but to leave a 7 year old in a hospital with no reassurance or support is unforgivable.

To then make you travel home by train is disgusting.

I wouldn't even debate with him over how wrong he was. If he can't see it and be ashamed of his actions then don't waste your breath.

My Dh would fly like the wind to see me and dd.
Me exdh would probably have done the same as your selfish sod! He had to pick me up once from hospital when I passed out when pregnant and they wouldn’t let me drive myself home. He eventuallly came to get me and moaned all the way home that the hospital were over the top. When our dd was hospitalised I called him at work and he refused to come saying there was no point!?! He’s an ex for a reason. Leave this plonker op - he’s not going to change his spots!

Frankly op. And my DH is a workaholic whose job involves court and who I didn't ask to leave court until it finished the day our ds2 was born and died at 27 weeks, I started with some sympathy. But no, my DH wouldn't have sat on the sofa and even if he'd been in court he'd have made arrangements for his child in those circa even if he hadn't been able to down tools so to speak.

Sorry but a rare LTB for me.

Hope you are feeling better x