The Brave Babes Battle Bus - Braving The Wine Witch & Her Alcohol Free Autumn

[Mouseface]

Hello

I’m Mouse one of the Brave Babes who ride on this wonderful Bus, called Gerald, along with all the Opal Fruits wrappers and of course Barry The squid.

We all have a wise variety of life experiences and experiences with alcohol too. We’re not admirers of hang overs and we certainly don’t do judgey pants!

We’re here to ride along with you, when life is pants but also when it’s not as well and you my want to celebrate that bit too much!

So find a seat and come take a ride. I’ll link the previous and also the very first link and the reason we’re all here.

*Mouse

Sorry to hear that ginger. Can you go to bed and tackle things tomorrow?

@dementedma oh doesn't live with me. Am a single parent. We have had a difficult history which I'm still struggling to get over. I was supposed to be going to a works do with him tonight. Found out yesterday I'm not. Because things were difficult between us, so he decided to just book for himself.

Am just in all sorts of nowhere because he never told me the invitation was rescinded. I asked him about arrangements last night, which is the first I knew of it.

I know the relationship is in its death throes. Still hurts to face up to that reality. Which is a major alcohol trigger.

And all he says is that talking via text/email isn't heathy and we need to talk in person.

I really feel so down

Hes right about talking in person though. Can you make time to do that tomorrow

@dementedma yes but we've been here before. I end up acquiescing and then3 months later here we are again - usually because of my mental health problems!

The reason I don't want to is because this is a familiar dance.

Ginger. Is a period of NC possible?

Maybe a bit of headspace will help you sort out what you want, what you need and what is not helping and needs to change

Sorry for mawkish posts!

Don't apologise ginger. This bus is about support at all levels, not just the amount of alcohol we consume, but the things which drive us to do it in the first place.

Evening all. Sorry I've been M.I.A so to speak. I've been really Ill again . I've also had problems with STBExDP and his secret online life I found about at 3am the other night. I've been knocked sideways and have fallen into a bottle a night again, all the hard work at the gym is gone thanks to wine.

I am following you from work (not on so much in the evenings at the moment as I hardly get any peace).
I miss you lot.

Hey mint. What's he been up to?

A lurker.

I just want to say to Bee that the whole thing is that your feeling about really wanting a glass of wine will fade gradually. You have to give it quite a long stretch without any alcohol at all for it to really kick in - maybe 2 to 3 months?

Dry alcoholics honestly don't crave wine every day just like ex smokers don't crave cigarettes every day. 99% of the time they are untroubled by any symptoms and aren't battling with anything at all. Mostly they feel a little bit euphoric about how much nicer life is. Every now and then (and I am sure Venus and Spanna would agree) a pang will hit you. Dealing with those occasional pangs, at some point in the future, is key.

Meanwhile! bite your pillow, stuff your face full of sweets, distract, distract, distract because you can get to a place quite soon where those every night cravings are a thing of the past.

Having a really shit day (see other posts) on my second bottle if fizz - although not knocking it back with my normal gusto.

Hey Babes

I'm so sorry that I've not been around but I've just got out of the hospital (AGAIN)! after my fifth bought of pneumonia. Something else that I might have, is Myofascial Syndrome that basically runs alongside Fibromyalgia and CFS.

I hope you're all as ok as you can be. My CPAP machine woke me up and I thought of you guys!

I'll try to post more,

Mouse 🐭 xxx

Hello Mouse, sorry to hear about the terrible time you are having! 5 bouts of pneumonia ... that is really tough! I guess you can't drink in hospital though eh? .

How are Nemo and your dd?

You won't know me under this name but I'm a lurker and read the bus threads quite often. We have chatted in the past. Thinking of you and hoping things turn a corner soon X

Hi Babes

Hope you're all ok and having a good Sunday.
I'm feeling a bit Meh today and just looked up the moon only to realise it's a full moon today at 15.47. For me, that explains my feelings!

Interesting what it says.....

The December Full Moon is often referred to as the Full Cold Moon or Moon of the Long Nights Moon. The Zuni Indians referred to this time of the year as "sun has traveled home to rest”. This December's Full Moon will also be extra big and bright as it is the last SUPERMOON of 2017. A Supermoon is when the Full Moon happens at the same time as the Moon’s perigee (moon’s closest position to earth in the moon's orbit) This combination results in the Moon being a bit bigger and brighter than other times.

Mouse good to see you lovely and I'm sorry for all that you're going through and that the ruddy machine woke you up You poor babe, I hope you're having a restful day today

Ma I hope you had some fun with your dashing Naval Commander? Dish please

Sweet love the dress babe

Fox I'm bearing up and tired of talking about it, if I'm honest. They're being prime wankers at work, called me into a meeting on Thursday (just as I was leaving saying it would take 5 mins, 20 mins later and DD2 waiting outside school in the cold for me) they are querying my hours for one part of my job, saying HR have flagged it up etc I said I'm surprised in the light of what I've just been through etc - I don't actually believe it's HR at all, so me being me will bang off an email tomorrow (once I've been presented with the minutes from the meeting) and will cc area relations mgr and HR into my response to the meeting
I hope you're ok my darling, you are doing so well, you must be approaching 100 days soon. The sober reality can be very trying and also 'so is this it' - please keep going it will become more normal x

Tim thank you for your post and you are right!

MsHoolies how are you babe? I'm thinking of you often and hope you're ok

Mint I'm so sorry that you're going through all this shit with DP what an arse if you want to PM please feel free x

Genius you taught me a new word - Mawkish - had to look it up and you are NO WAY being mawkish. I second what Ma says the bus is here for all support. I hope you're ok today x

Lux I hope you're feeling much better, can we have some of your Snow Whiting please

Margie babe, how you doing lovely? 100+ days now, you're awesome honey and I'm full of admiration for you

Hope your posts make me laugh. Love the parker pic!!! You gym queen you, 7am steady on

I'm going to dive into some shit tv now, tired, pissed off about nothing in particular, might just go and stare at my bellybutton for a while

Love to you all and sorry not to NC everyone - you are all awesome. One day at a time......

mouse good to see you my little furry friend.we had melted camembert for lunch with crusty bread. fuck the calories, fuck them all!
Have actually had a nice weekend with all 3 dcs home and doing Christmas stuff like when they were wee. We have made cookies and Christmas wreaths and Christingles and done the tree and had a quiz and it's all been good festive fun. Then dd1s best friend from school came to visit ...with her baby! Dear God, when did they get so old and grown up. Baby Archie is 6 months and seriously adorable though. We painted his feet and made a card with glittery footprints on for his daddy. Too cute.
Busy week ahead this week. Off to Stornoway again on Tuesday for more soldier ogling and hopefully some time to look for sea glass in between meetings, then a black tie dinner on Thursday night with the most dashing Group Captain on the planet! just drop dead gorgeous and actually says things like "What ho!" and "Spiffing". he's ab absolute sweetheart and I will have the handsomest escort of the night.

You're all so lovely. Went to a cast party with my daughter today - we were recently in a show together - I was in it with my now ex too. I burst into tears and had a good cry and unfortunately wine and some hearty karaoke was the only thing to numb the pain. I will get back in the wagon. Just not today x

Hello all how is everyone? It's been quiet the last few days.

I am day 31 af. If - no when I get to tomorrow it will be the longest without alcohol as an adult (not including pregnancy.)

I still don't feel well unfortunately sinusitis now I think. 4 weeks of feeling unwell - if this is connected to the af it's pretty big physical response.

Hope everyone has a good day.

Hello everyone, to those struggling with health problems, partner problems, and especially booze problems.

Go Saywhen! You will to make it until tomorrow, I know it.

I am feeling all smug again today -7 days AF! My first full weekend! DH has also done 7 days - It's the longest he's been without a drink since I've known him (19 years) - he says for 25 years, so quite an acheivement.

Last weekend was not so good. Friday I drank so much that I had a full on throwing up in the toilet hangover (sorry TMI!). I tried to come on here to confess -wrote a long post and managed to lose it -so couldn't even get it together sufficiently to do that!

Anyway, onwards and upwards... Meeting some old work colleagues in the pub on Thursday. I plan to drive.

p.s. Spanna I want to be you when I grow up

Back from holidays and drank 5 nights out of 7. Pissed off that I ruined 9 weeks straight of no alcohol and all to be seduced by that thought of " you're on holidays and deserve that lovely numbing glow of the first drink" Bollocks to that, all I got was red cheeks and falling asleep before 10pm. Day 2 today....

Shit I am back in the sidecar again. One night turned to two, three. .its like the taste reawakens the witch and she steals all my resolve It’s so not worth it babes, good sleep goes out the window. Instead I wake up early, anxious, with remorse and a racing heart and then depressed that I can’t handle it.

I am posting to be accountable and to commit to being af today.

Well done to you and your dh flowers .

saywhen you are doing great, it seems so miserable that you are feeling so crap. Feel better soon babe x

genius hang on in there, as long as you keep posting the wagon will scoop you up soon.

Spanna sweetpea, that moon has a lot to answer for. If it can shift oceans then it can surely move our moods. Have a good week and don’t let those prime wankers bring you down xx

Ma “What oh” .

mouse always a great to see you post. Once again you seem to have an extraordinary amount of shit to deal with - sending you lots of feel well vibes. X

Love to the rest of the bus crew. Take care of yourselves xxxx

Hi everyone.... just read through everyone's posts and you all are a bloody amazing bunch. I feel humbled to be on this journey with you all. ((((Shit did that sound a bit X factor???)))))

ginger you have so much going on darling. Don't berate yourself for coping the best way you know how. It's a gradual process I'm sure, and when we take away something such as drinking which undoubtedly blocks so much out, it is naturally going to be difficult to cope without it. Just because you are in the full thrust of your emotions so to speak. Please be kinder to yourself...we all think you are worth it...... tomorrow is always a new day.
ma your job sounds amazing! The areas where you travel to, the people you meet - it sounds like something out of a magazine....enjoy! Slightly envious of all your crafting ability- my dcs are all boys and still young.... a craft session is enough to send me over the edge sometimes - and stuff never looks like I imagined it would do in my head!
I'm cap at name he king everyone because although I read everything j cant remember whose doing what, I scroll up to check before I type then I lose all of my bloody post I've just typed! So I'm sorry about that. Mouse I remember you from the bus years ago, I was pussycatmomma then, is it your son, nemo who has additional needs? Sorry if I have remembered incorrectly.

Well I have just got through my 3rd alcohol free weekend. I'm getting there....very slowly though. I'm on day 22 of being alcohol free. This is the longest I've gone for about 2 maybe 3 years. I feel more determined than I have done previously. Also more wary as this is about the 3rd time ive had a big push and tried to give up alcohol, I do well for a couple of months then convince myself I can't possibly have a problem because I've "abstained easily"....so then I think I can moderate so start again on weekend wine....... then the whole cycle starts again.

Truth #1. I can not moderate to a glass. Ever. Someone please remind me of this. When I start harping in about "having a few glasses over Christmas".
Truth#2 if I have a drink I will undo so much. I'm just starting to tentatively think I actually might be able to do this.
Lots of love and slimline ginger ale to you all -

Forever, I am exactly like you! Manage to abstain for a good stint, decide I don't have a problem. Start with that well deserved treat (wine) and I can never ever moderate! Totally all or nothing.... so have to keep going day by day. I'm not counting days but I know my first AF day was 29th October.
We can and will do this!

Hello Brave Babes

Asked doctor for help today. He said the best option was to find a good on line site with counsellor help to stop drinking. Anyone happen to know of one? Paid is ok

blessed it is a great job but its taken me 53 years to get here! Tomorrow I will be on Lewis (fnar, fnar) by 08:30, pick up hire car ( I'd never even hired a car until I got this job!) And then have most of the day completely free to drive around on my own, exploring, sitting on windswept beaches and just....being. I do have several.meetings the next day and a late flight back so will be knackered,but I have to pinch myself sometimes that I now have this level.of freedom and work in a world which is so different to my own life. On that note, the gas man sealed off the boiler today as unsafe so we now have no hearing and no hot water. The people I work with have farmhouses or town houses and Agas and black labs as gun dogs...they wouldnt believe how I live. The roof leaks, the kitchen floor is broken and sags, we need new internal.doors and now the boiler is broken! My clothes are all supermarket or charity. The dress I am going to wear on Thursday night cost me £6!
tannis welcome aboard. You don't have to pay when you have the Babes. Make yourself comfortable.

Hi Babes, I read all your posts and cheer you on. I'm a bit the same as above - always forgetting the usernames. But each of you is a real person in my head and you all have names (sorry Barb and Doris, not sure why you got saddled with those )

Something lovely happened over the weekend, I think only you lot will understand.... My Sunday evening glass of wine was poured and I forgot to drink it.

Spotted it before bed and poured it back in the bottle (that's not an alcohol thing, it's because I hate waste). And there it sits. Maybe I'll have it tomorrow. Or the day after. I hope it's the day after.