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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

Battling on!

981 replies

lollipop7 · 31/10/2017 20:06

So I'm starting a new thread following on from 0I don't know what to do" as we're almost full.
Blimey! How did that happen!

Seems lots of you are rather ruddy marvellous and want to keep going on this journey with me so I'm opening a new chapter.
Will be back with a proper update later 💐

OP posts:
Bekabeech · 05/01/2018 16:43

Yay!!!

Groovee · 05/01/2018 16:44

Oh that's great news. Good luck x

Slingsanderrors · 05/01/2018 17:00

Great news lolli, good luck! Flowers

Ellie56 · 05/01/2018 17:03

Yay!! Well done Lollipop. Good luck!

🤞 ☘ 🍀

AbbieLexie · 05/01/2018 17:06

Flowers Flowers Cake Cake Flowers

OnTheRise · 05/01/2018 17:34

That's great news, Lollipop! I hope it all goes very well for you.

Idontmeanto · 05/01/2018 18:16

Fantastic news! Well done Lollipop!

Doublemint · 05/01/2018 20:11

Wooo that's great news lollipop!!!!

flutterby12 · 05/01/2018 20:29

🎉🎉Amazing Lolli. Well done x

JaneEyre70 · 06/01/2018 16:07

Brilliant news, well done. And fingers crossed for the CPS.

GrabbyMcGrabby · 08/01/2018 00:38

Just popping in to wish you a good week and hope Friday goes well. BrewStar

GrabbyMcGrabby · 08/01/2018 00:40

By the way, you are up to 913 messages so might want to think about starting a new one soon. Sleep well!

Autumnleaves105 · 08/01/2018 02:17

I'm sure I read the previous thread but can't remember. Can somebody link it please?

Turnedacorner · 09/01/2018 07:58

Hope things are ok? Good luck for Friday Thanks

Sadmum23 · 09/01/2018 09:49

Wishing you the best for your interview.

CarpeVitam · 09/01/2018 10:15

The best of luck for Friday Lolli! Thanks x

rainbowstardrops · 09/01/2018 15:16

Good luck with the interview!

Original poster
lollipop7 · 09/01/2018 21:10

I’m not going for the interview. Things are absolutely horrendous again at the moment.
My mum has been really hard on me the last week or so. She says one thing and it turns out she means another.
She went fucking ballistic at me tonight about leaving her to do all the childcare whilst I’m off on my crusade or taking to my bed. Exactly those words. Well I haven’t slept for weeks and sorry if I’m fighting to keep my children and me safe from a fruit loop. She’s had a drink tonight and just started being totally passive aggressive with me. The message is that if I live here and she helps with me and everything then she can speak to me how she wants. So I’m to put up or shut up.

I took my little boy to his first group support session today. I sat in a room with other women broken and haunted by things that have happened to them. He refused to stay and said he wanted to just go home, I looked at his beautiful bright little face and my heart broke. Not just because we actually don’t have a home but that we are lost. I sat in tears and told my mum this tonight then ten minutes later she was being really cold and aggressive with me.

So fuck the interview. I have to really find a new home. She clearly really resents me.

I wish I could turn my life back five years ago. My children not deserve this.

OP posts:
RandomMess · 09/01/2018 21:23

Don't rule out a refuge Thanks

Original poster
lollipop7 · 09/01/2018 21:33

I can’t go in one, it would just finish me off.
Had enough. Again.
Endless fucking crap and misery. The other night I actually though maybe I should give up, walk away from it all because nothing is changing and it’s damaging all my relationships I have left.
Perhaps the children are better off away from me too, I feel such a failure.

OP posts:
Sadmum23 · 09/01/2018 21:50

Lollipop you are not a failure, if this was a friend or relative telling you this - what would you say? You are a brave, strong woman who has been to hell and back to protect her children. You have hit many obstacles and overcome them . You have at times been a superwoman but sadly even superwoman was not infallible. You need to treat yourself kindly. Easy for me to say but one day at a time. Nothing stays the same forever although it can seem like it.

Lorddenning1 · 09/01/2018 21:51

You have come so far @lollipop7 overcome a lot of hurdles, you can't turn back now and give up, I agree u need a new place asap, get ur shit in order and keep moving forward ❤️

Idontmeanto · 09/01/2018 22:20

Big hugs Lollipop. Any news on your social housing application? I’m sure everything gets on top of your Mum, just like it does you sometimes, but I’m sure she wouldn’t wish you to give up.
What was the interview for? Most women would still be on maternity leave at this point. Don’t feel you have to rush out to work. xxx

rainbowstardrops · 09/01/2018 23:09

You are most definitely not a failure. Anything but.
Just don’t dismiss any option.
I know someone who fled a situation similar to yours and went to a women’s refuge miles from her ‘home’ and it was the best thing she ever did.
Yes it was terrifying and possibly demoralising at the time but her and her boys are now happier than ever.
Never say never

AbbieLexie · 09/01/2018 23:55

Flowers & hugs @lollipop7 Go for the interview - doesn't mean you need to accept the job but it will give you the interview experience. Flowers. Remember you're a Star Flowers