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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

Battling on!

981 replies

lollipop7 · 31/10/2017 20:06

So I'm starting a new thread following on from 0I don't know what to do" as we're almost full.
Blimey! How did that happen!

Seems lots of you are rather ruddy marvellous and want to keep going on this journey with me so I'm opening a new chapter.
Will be back with a proper update later 💐

OP posts:
Mustang27 · 26/12/2017 21:52

He is such a cutie!!!

JaneEyre70 · 26/12/2017 22:11

The kids are doing well lollipop because they have you. You deserve a great Christmas, and your baby is beautiful Star

Sadmum23 · 26/12/2017 22:14

Oh he is gorgeous . Bit late but Happy Christmas and wishing you every happiness in 2018.

Evilstepmum01 · 26/12/2017 22:14

What a beautiful wee man! Glad you and kids had a peaceful christmas, I wish you and your lovely children a happy new year for 2018, free of this abusive pillock.

Gemini69 · 27/12/2017 01:09

goodness what a beautiful boy you have there Lolli Xmas Grin Flowers

Idontmeanto · 27/12/2017 08:58

What a lovely smile he has Lollipop! Glad you’ve had a peaceful Christmas and wishing you luck and strength for the new year.

Original poster
lollipop7 · 27/12/2017 12:51

Baby Says thanks and that you’ve all clearly got amazing taste 😉

He is scrumptious, I just wish he would sleep at night! He is general,y wide awake between 2-6/7am. He’s now fast asleep and likely to be so until 4pm. lucky him!

OP posts:
rainbowstardrops · 27/12/2017 13:30

Oh he’s gorgeous!!!! He’d be absolutely perfect if he slept at night too! Wink

Barmaid101 · 27/12/2017 14:45

Oh he is gorgeous! Glad you had a good Christmas, you can do this! New year coming just you and your babies. It will not be easy but it will be worth it in the end.

whatsavings · 27/12/2017 17:43

What a little beauty!
And what a lucky boy to have a mum as brave & determined as you.
Wishing you & all your loved ones a peaceful and joyful 2018 Lollipop x

Original poster
lollipop7 · 28/12/2017 13:11

Well I allowed his parents a call with the children before
The call went ok but I’m so disappointed that I could here them dialling a Skype in the background when we called them. I went on Skype and he was online and they were. So he has asked them to indirectly include them on the call.

I didn’t make an issue of it on the phone as his mum was obviously flustered about it and the ,kids were present. However he knows he is to have no contact so I’m not comfortable with continuing that arrangement. Not sure how to raise it without sounding vindictive though

OP posts:
Gemini69 · 28/12/2017 13:34

you're way beyond Vindictive Lolli.. you're dealing with people who believe themselves above the Law...

Report this breach Flowers

Idontmeanto · 28/12/2017 13:52

I think report if you can prove it, otherwise you’ll look paranoid. Maybe gave to face contact with grandparents would be easier to control?

Seeds1962 · 28/12/2017 16:40

Report it, Lollipop :( Otherwise its giving him/them a sign its ok to cross the ( court defined) boundaries.

Tryingtoconceive2years · 28/12/2017 17:35

Oh Lollipop, I have read both threads and have had major amounts of dust in my eyes making them water several times.

You are one bloody amazing lady!

Baby C is just delicious and you should be so majorly proud for everything you have been doing even if the arsehole does keep chucking shit at you.

Stay brave and lots of love xxxx

OnTheRise · 28/12/2017 18:45

Lollipop, add the whole "parents skyping him while phoning your children" to the list of things you're going to give to your solicitor. Not only has he broken the order saying he's not to have contact, his parents have as well. It might come in handy if he suggests they could supervise any contact he might get, as they've now shown themselves to have little regard for the law.

Doublemint · 28/12/2017 19:32

Merry Christmas @lollipop7 and brood! Sounds like despite twatbag trying his best you've had a lovely time.

I think the best way to treat these repeated breaches is to think of them as a Christmas present- he's giving you the gift of evidence!

Just keep swimming, still cheering you on x

JoesNanny · 28/12/2017 20:05

Just read all of your posts. Bloody hell. Just wanted to say I think you're amazing and the most important thing is you have your three beautiful children. I know it's been so hard but you've come so far! In fact I can't believe how well you have done to keep fighting! I did cry at some of your posts, but things are looking up! Your new baby is so beautiful too btw! Keep going - he can't win, he's pathetic! Pathetic and def lost the plot! What a bloody lunatic! I think he will stitch himself up very soon! Fingers crossed! 2018 is the one for you definitely! X

Original poster
lollipop7 · 28/12/2017 21:13

Apparently the police don’t think the cards and presents can be pursued as I said he could send them.
I can’t win. If I had said no to Christmas Cards and gifts then i would have looked like I was using my children to punish him. I agree and basically that means I’m fair game.

So fucking ridiculous.

And as for him sending in statements in support of himself before he’s even been charged with anything (which of course knowing my luck he won’t be) is just ludicrous. Surely he would present those if actually charged?

Honestly just one pile of steaming shit after another.
As if it wasn’t hard enough

OP posts:
Daisymay2 · 28/12/2017 22:15

Lollipop
You could doument all the incidents over Christmas for your solicitor and keep anything relevant- eg card to your mum, card sent to former neighbours if you can get one, presents-, messages to the children, phone call to the house and the suspicions about parents doing the skype call. She can sort out what is relevant and present to the Court.
Keep going! Your are doing great. And I think you might be rattling him.
Any news about the paternity leave . Is solicitor aware of that as well?

GrabbyMcGrabby · 28/12/2017 22:46

Don't give up Lollipop! Don't worry about police response, run it past your lawyer. Hope you are managing some r&r despite all this. Gin

Original poster
lollipop7 · 30/12/2017 21:21

So I’ve now found out he’s recruiting people -including a former friend I had a falling out with this year - to concoct statements that I am mentally ill and aggressive. The police informed me.

She saw me slap his face three and half years go when listed he half fondled her tit and said she was the one that got away. We hadn’t seen her since April 2015.

She was supposedly one of my best friends. This is all really stupid and hateful. I’m not remotely worried about it but what does worry me what he is capable of.

Yes I should have LTB there and then.
I now see just dangerous someone or some people are when they really hate you.

OP posts:
Idontmeanto · 30/12/2017 21:50

Sounds like she’s welcome to him. Remember you’ve got your various health care professionals, staff at two nurseries your son has attended to say otherwise😀

dizzy174 · 31/12/2017 11:02

he sounds like a drowning man clutching at straws lolli, power to you x

k567 · 31/12/2017 11:50

He's run out of ideas