Caught DH sexting another woman

[user58104372]

Can't sleep as I just found this a few hours ago. DH is a great man, we've been together for 13 years, married last year two beautiful DC 5 and 9. He's always been very supportive of me, helped get a degree so I could become a teacher, helps around the house, great dad. I don't know how long it has been going on for, I had no interest in reading too many details if all the conversations they had on FB. She's a mum from school, we're not friends, but my best friend is friends with her, she's married and as far as I would know lives a happy life. I don't even know how they "met" , but it seems that one day DH noticed her and started obsessing over her. Of what I can tell from their messages (there were too many of them), he's the one who pursued her and she didn't put any resistance. I read how he called her "possibly the most beautiful human being on earth" for instance. At some point they started sexting, explicit messages telling her what he wanted to do to her and a photo of his erection. As far as I can tell, they actually haven't slept together but it seems like they both want/plan to. I don't know how to move forward from this. One part of me says it isn't cheating "nothing" has happened but it's not just the sexual content that upsets me, I'm so heartbroken he's so infatuated by her and that he actually pursued her. I never thought he was that type of man. I also see this woman at the school gate I'll have to control myself not to slap her.

OP.... are you OK ?

Yes she’s playing you. Easy to paint him as a serial sexter then own her actions.

It’s irrelavant what the DH decides anyway as long as you feel you’ve done the right thing for yourself.

She’s down playing it. In your shoes I’d give the DH copies of the interactions cock shots the lot.

What a hard faced, brass necked cunt. She's calling your bluff and I'm sorry you had to endure that.

Get his mobile number so you can wattsapp him everything

I know everyone on here is on the OP's "side". Myself most definitely included.
However I think things are getting really frantic and lots of whipping into a frenzy.
Can see why and not saying there's right or wrong but am I the only one who thinks there is danger of a deluge here?

OP I hope you're ok 💐

@lollipop7 - I agree

Hate to say but my dh many years ago did it to me.. brought ow round in front of me then had an emotional affair. Invited her round while I was at work, mood changes etc etc it was shit. Honestly I would get out now it’s such heartbreak unless you can 100% feel you can be happy and ok xx

Nasty nasty woman.

It may be your H who did the dirty on you but she has no morals and no compassion. How can anyone be so vile that they really don't care the depths of hurt they have been party to inflicting on others?

If your H is so shy that he can't say hello to her how the hell did he get her in the car for a snog?

It sounds like your H and she are getting their stories straight about what did/didn't happen to minimise the fall out of them being sleazy cheats.

If she is confessing to a kiss I would bet there was more. Cheaters never just confess it all if they don't have to.

Doesn't matter if her H forgives her or not. That is his choice to make armed will the facts if you decide to go that path.

At least you can hold your head high when you walk down the street.

This is just so surreal. She told me about the "snogging" episode in full detail. She was very embarrassed but he was very forward. She asked him a couple of times if he'd done it before and he just gave vague answers. I have no idea why I needed to know all of that detail.

Did she phone you or was this face to face?

She called me, thank goodness or I wouldn't have been able to control myself

If she’s that confident of being forgiven this time why hasn’t she told him herself? She’s trying desperately to neuter your “revenge” by giving you the impression it won’t work.

But telling her H isn’t revenge, it’s just the right thing to do - a concept she clearly struggles with.

Is she planning to carry on with your H or have the stars gone out?

* She was very embarrassed but he was very forward.* Poor girl, so shy and retiring

Did she refer to it as snogging? Is she 12?

She called you because she is scared. She told you her husband will forgive her because she wants you to think there's no point telling him. Guaranteed she is shorting herself . I wouldn't believe her about him being a serial cheat either . Sounds like he may have blown her off and now she is pissed

Bloody hell, my dm would refer to that as being a shameless hussy!

Why on earth did she call you?

These 2 have behaved appallingly, I hope it all blows up in their faces leaving them lonely and full of regret whilst you sail off into the sunset with someone amazing. Utter arseholes the pair of them

I'd definitely be letting her husband know now after that comment from her. Call her bluff.

I called it snogging sorry.

What the hell? She got the impression he'd done it before, so thought it was okay? What a load of bull. Just shows what a nasty piece of work she is.

darth
As I said in a pp I wouldn’t directly contact the OWH. I’d simply be open about what had happened to all and sundry and let the local jungle drums do the rest. If I heard he wanted proof I’d send it, but that’s the extent of it.
So if it were you, you'd prefer to find out your dp was cheating through the village rumour mill, rather than directly and discreetly from the other betrayed partner? I really don't understand how that would be preferable.

Well no matter how wonderful how lycra clad bum is, she sounds like an ugly person to me. Not only does she cheat on her husband, but she is arrogant enough to think that it doesn't matter because he will forgive her - never mind that she might hurt him, as well as you. She then has the brazen neck to call you and give you all the gory details. And she is shifting all blame onto your husband because she can't accept responsibility. I think she and your dh actually sound like a good match.

The decent thing to do is to tell the OW’s husband as gently as possible while making clear that you will be honest with anyone who asks what happened, ie. you won’t cover for your H and OW even if it’s awkward for him. What he does with this knowledge is up to him.

She's scared you'll tell her husband... but not scared of anything else.

She's telling you that you have a serial cheater... that effectively it's him not her fault.

That he found it so easy and was so full on with her. She's trying to convince you, she's nothing special (which is true) and you should just leave her and her H alone.

She's definitely bricking it.