Crap thread title, sorry!
think I know what I need to do, but need a bit of hand holding.
My emotions are very confused, so apologies if this post is confusing too!
I've been with my bf for nearly a year now. He's very full on, and initially so was I.
Something changed, after he moved in without asking, (long story) and it eventually took 3 months for him to find somewhere else. Even though he's now moved out, I feel differently about him. I feel that he abused my passiveness to move in because it suited him.
Everything he does is 'for us' - the job he has is to bring money in 'for us', any of his future plans are 'for us', the place he lives in now is only until 'we' can be together - like he's treading water. I want him to have his own life, not one that's dependant on me.
I'm very confused really. He's a very intense full on guy, but he would also do anything for me, and is very kind and loving. He wants to be with me all the time, although he wouldn't stop me going out, but I'm a loner and love my own space. For example, he sits RIGHT next to me on the sofa and wants to hold hands, which gives me the rage, and I think that's irrational of me!
I don't want to throw something away that is actually decent because my walls are up too far, and I can't accept someone wanting to be with me this much, but on the other hand I don't know if I can cope with the full on nature of it. I guess I'm overwhelmed and I think that's clouding my judgment on this.
Arrgh. I just don't know what to do.
This is more of a stream of consciousness than a wwyd!