Does it bother you when husband lies about small things?

[Rubbishparent82]

Hi, just coming to vent I suppose. I'm with a lovely supportive hard working guy, pregnant with his baby. He works in a warehouse, recently started there. I asked who he worked with out of interest a couple of weeks back, what the team was like and he said it was a proper sausage party (his words). I was like, seriously no women at all in the warehouse?! Genuinely thinking this was odd! And he said yep he's never even seen one! I thought nothing more of it except that it must be a really physical job /sexist company and I don't give a toss anyway.

So fast forward to today, and he comes home uncharacteristically happy and full of energy, was a delight to see. I joked around that they must have had stripper Sunday in the warehouse for all the boys and he laughed it off but went bright red! Now, you know when you can just tell somethings up?!! I was confused and asked if something was wrong, and he said no but after asking him again and telling him I just knew something was, he eventually told me that there had been three women working in the warehouse and he had lied!

I couldn't give less of a crap about the actual people, he used to be a bouncer at a club ffs and it never affected us apart from the horrendous shift times. Hes no flirt. Just really worried why he would lie about something so small? I don't even mind if he say had a crush on one of them, it's natural and he knows my opinions on all that. I'm bi myself and regularly have crushes in women which he knows about. It is not the first time he has doe this though and i don't know why it annoys and worries me so damn much! The lying -
not the women! My ex and I used to joke about and fantasise about women all the time and I know nobody is a threat to me in his eyes. I think he's very devoted.

If he lies about such massively insignificant things with no reason then why wouldn't he lie about bigger things, though? Past things he's lied about are equally insignificant... Like walking someone he used to have an crush on home after a night out once and telling me he walked home alone. I was upset more about the lying than the thing!

Has anyone had experience of a man like this and did it lead to him lying about bigger things or was it just a quirk of his nature?

Lots of things have recently been banned, but as a pp said, longstanding banned subjects are extreme. And it sounds like he's into one of the longstanding banned subjects.

I appreciate you don't want to go into it, but if his fetish is anything which inherently causes harm to anyone/anything else (eg incest, bestiality, necrophilia, animal crushing, rape) please reconsider this man's role in your life. You don't get rid of a fetish. And even if he never looks at it again he's still the type of person who can overlook or even enjoy someone else's pain/lack of consent. He has the potential to be very dangerous.

Aside from the fact he's a liar.

Who cares that he sent you flowers. He sounds like a sick creep. And you sound bloody naive for 34!

Albedo I will heed your advice. He is on the waiting list for therapy for his fetish as it is/was so sick. However I appreciate and agree with what you are saying, it has caused enormous problems. Combined with the inability to be honest about any small thing that might possibly upset me, it doesn't look good, does it.

Vari - in what way do I sound naive? I'm told this a lot. I'm not stupid though with it!

I'm glad you've had your eyes opened by this thread. Assuming you break up, will you trust him; a compulsive lying pervert, to take your baby / child for access? He really doesn't sound like a stable or healthy character, to say the least.

How long were you with him? Did you have shitty relationships before and so thought he seemed geeky and sweet, when actually you just weren't accustomed to his particular breed of creepiness?

Do I dare ask what animal crushing is? I'm not brave enough to google it!

ifeel I believe it's watching videos of small animals (hamsters etc.) being stood on and crushed to death by women in high heels.

Umm, mine wouldn't lie about things, apart from when he looses something and I ask him if he's looked everywhere 🙄

But if he worked with women, he'd tell me, I don't see why it would be an issue to tell the truth in that instance.

More LIES revealed tonight. I will be back later to update. He is a creepy fucking lying pervert and it is OVER

Thebus WTAF 😱

What a horrible thread this has turned into.

More LIES revealed tonight. I will be back later to update. He is a creepy fucking lying pervert and it is OVER

Hope you're ok Rubbish

I remember your posts from when you found out about the crushing fetish.

He is a bad bad man.

I can't take it any more I'm having the evening from hell

I hope you're ok op

He's Sat there still lying, lying about lying, taking me for a fool am in hysterical tears

Thanks albedo that means a lot

I'm sorry to hear your update. You really don't need this shit. Will he eventually give up and leave? Can you call someone to come round?

I'm outside calming down in the windy storm. It will all be OK

Girding myself for more of his gaslighting bollocks

Apparently there is another woman who works right next to him and has for a month but get this, I swear to God he is telling me he only just today realised she was a woman.

Jesus fucking titty christ. Only just realised she was a woman.

If there's one thing I've learnt rubbish, it's that you can't argue with crazy.

You don't need to explain yourself if you've decided it's over. And you don't need to listen to his 'explanation' - because, really, there is no explanation.

i swear to God he is telling me he only just today realised she was a woman.

You can't even argue with that level of insanity, don't bother trying. There's nothing to argue about, he needs to move out right now. You also need to consider what you'll do when the baby's born because there is no way any sane woman would allow him access.

I remember your other thread now, I didn't put 2 and 2 together before. He had a laptop that he just threw away didn't he because he didn't want you to see all the extreme, illegal porn on it?

You can't even argue with that level of insanity, don't bother trying

Completely agree. Will just wind you up and stress you out.

I'm not going to sit here stoop to his level and lie to you all - yes sadly, that was my thread. I changed names for this one as I wanted perspectives that didn't involve the horrors contained in that thread, on him as a man.

I tried hard to throw him out back then- he went to stay with his mum for a few weeks, is now on a waiting list for therapy, I let him back into my life and home on the strict promise that he would do everything in his power to change and he seemed so, so sincere. His whole family were pushing me to take him back. His mum is an angel she is like a mother to me as I don't have one to speak of.

Thanks for the advice to stop arguing with that level of insanity, I need to hear it. He's Sat on a chair in a corner of the room. I'm in the other corner. Ive told him there is no going back from this even as friends unless he tells me some truths and he's silent, the silence is deafening, I'm in hell.

You're in hell now rubbish but you will get through it and you will have a good, happy life without his bullshit.

There is no way for you to be happy and secure in this relationship. You deserve better.